Joined a gym and scared to go. Talk some sense into me!

[neverbeenskiing]

Before having my DC I was a size 10 but since having my youngest 3.5 years ago I've gradually crept up to a size 14 and I'm feeling rubbish about myself. I blame a combination of lockdowns, constant tiredness (youngest has SEN and doesn't sleep) making me crave carbs and sugar and PND causing me to eat my feelings. I feel frumpy, unattractive and sluggish.

I was working FT but I've recently reduced my hours and realised I now have no excuse as I can get out to exercise 3-4 times a week, which wasn't possible before. So in a fit of optimism last night I joined a local gym, telling myself it will be good for my mental health and I'll feel like less of a wobbly, useless lump if I actually do something instead of just complaining about it. They have different classes everyday and I got quite excited about trying yoga, pilates, maybe going for a swim. Now in the cold light of day I'm regretting it and really don't want to go

I'm 37 years old and have never set foot in a gym in my life. I'm scared I'll be the only person in there who isn't super-fit, toned and thin and people will stare. I'm scared I won't know what to do, I know that sounds daft but I genuinely don't know where to start! What if I can't work the equipment or there's some unspoken gym etiquette I'm not aware of and I make a complete twat of myself? What do I wear?? The thought of squeezing myself into tight active-wear that shows all the lumps and bumps I spend my life trying to hide fills me with dread!

I know it's ridiculous, I'm a grown woman with a professional job and usually very capable, but it just feels so intimidating and completely out of my comfort zone.

The last thing toned gym bunnies want to see is other toned gym bunnies, they love a fatty to compare to! Not that you are of course, but honestly the posters there do not want any competition!

Give it a try. Wear whatever is comfortable. You don’t have to squeeze yourself into Lycra- a big T shirt and joggers is fine. I I’d be very surprised if you were the only one who wasn’t super fit and toned, Most gyms and fitness classes contain people of all ages, shapes and sizes. Give it a try at least. If you hate it, you can leave and never return!

As for using the equipment- they should give you an induction the first time you use the gym where they’ll show you how to use everything. Ideally they should give you a basic programme outline too so you have a plan for your first session.

Hello op,

I just wanted to say that I too have recently joined a gym and I got quite anxious leading up to going to a class but, I really enjoyed it. I am slim but not in anyway toned. The class had people of all sizes and capabilities.

Mentally, I feel better and have booked further classes. I was so focused on what I was doing that I had little time to even look at others.

Just take a deep breath and go!

Good luck

Do it! The worst part is the first day. Just get over the fear.
I did it. I am old and a bit chubby and I wore an old tshirt and horrible tracksuit bottoms I use for painting.
I don’t think I was anywhere near as good as any one else there but I don’t even care! I loved it and I now go twice a week. I am still not very good but I still don’t care. I am only going for me not anyone else. Eventually I will get better and be fitter.
GO FOR IT!

I love my gym, I was so scared to go as well OP but everyone is just in their own little bubble not worrying about me. There are all types - skinny, obese, old, young, slim, super ripped, short, tall etc you get the picture! All sorts there so nobody really stands out as such. Also in gyms the staff are always happy to show you around or show you how to use equipment safely. I totally understand how intimidating it is but once you’ve been a few times you’ll wonder why you waited so long. Go for it!

My DS is 19 and gym-obsessed. He says that he and his gym buddies enjoy helping new people if they need it, and either way, the only people he's commented on is seeing how much progress they've made. He feels a kind of pride for them I'm sure there are some unkind people as there are everywhere but I think most gyms are friendlier than expected.

Good luck and definitely ask for an induction.

I go to a council run gym, usually on a weekday morning, and there really are loads of different types of people there - older people, people with disabilities, typical gym types doing weights, larger people, teenagers…some aren’t even wearing gym kit just their everyday clothes. It may depend on the gym and the time of day but that is my experience.

The last thing toned gym bunnies want to see is other toned gym bunnies, they love a fatty to compare to! Not that you are of course, but honestly the posters there do not want any competition!

I'm so pleased that the sight of my fat arse wobbling on a treadmill will make the toned gym bunnies feel even better about themselves!

I go to a council run gym, usually on a weekday morning, and there really are loads of different types of people there - older people, people with disabilities, typical gym types doing weights, larger people, teenagers…

Oh god, teenagers...I work in a secondary school and it has just occurred to me I could bump into one of my students there. That would be my worst nightmare! Reassuring to hear there are people of all shapes and sizes though.

I just wanted to say that I too have recently joined a gym and I got quite anxious leading up to going to a class but, I really enjoyed it. I am slim but not in anyway toned. The class had people of all sizes and capabilities.

I suppose at least if I go to a class I can just focus on the instructor. It seems less intimidating somehow than walking into the main gym part.

@Mnusernc

The last thing toned gym bunnies want to see is other toned gym bunnies, they love a fatty to compare to! Not that you are of course, but honestly the posters there do not want any competition!

Eh, was this supposed to help? What posters where?

Hey OP, I promise you you will be fine. When I'm in the gym, I rarely look at what others are doing and only really notice someone if they're wearing a particularly nice pair of leggings!

It also important to remember that even the most toned and athletic people you see in the gym didn't look like that the first time they walked through the doors.

I never thought I would enjoy the gym. I loved walking, playing tennis etc growing up but like you, I found myself with time on my hands, so at the age of 50, I joined up.
It was absolutely the best decision. I only do the classes ( Zumba, Dance, Body Combat) ; 3 or 4 a week. I lost 20lbs before Lockdown, put some back on ( didn't we all ?), but now I'm back on track and looking to lose 7 to 10lbs. But actually it's not about weight loss ; I've met lots of lovely people, it gets me out, gives my day structure and I laugh a lot when I'm there.
It's natural to feel nervous. I was. Now in classes, I keep an eye out for anyone looking anxious and walk up to them for a chat. I've made some lovely friends.
Go for it. You've paid so you might as well.
And I just wear leggings and baggy t shirts. And a smile 😃

When I first joined my gym I was so nervous, but when I actually went it wasn't full of super fit people. The trainers and other members were all lovely and so supportive, all shapes, sizes and ages.

I did a HIIT class the other day and there were people ranging from teens to 70+, thin, fat, super fit and breathless just walking up the stairs to the class. I'm so glad I took the plunge and started going!

Just go!
The gym I am going to is great and is as follows (including classes)

• early AM pre work mixed bag people
• after 9am a gret mix of mums, retirees and the odd gym fanatic (but totally outnumbered!!)
• by 4pm you get the after work crowd and (sigh) the super fit, young & look at me gang.
• Weekends, again a good mix of people.

s

Don’t over think it. 70 per cent of life is just showing up.
Just get there - and tell yourself ‘I’ll just do 10 mins walk on the machine’. Done. Then ‘I’ll just do 10 mins stretching’ . Done . Keep setting yourself little goals and feel proud when you’ve done them. Before you know it you’ll have done the first gym session. You’ll realise it’s not so bad. Take it slow and step by step. You can do it!

The worst part is the first time because its the unknown. My gym is quite posh and people turn up in anything they feel comfortable in. Nothing special at all. Old Ts, joggers anything comfy goes.
Take some ear plugs to plug in to the screens and just do what you fancy. I think I did a couple of minutes on a bit of each to see what I liked at first. Lots of gym bunnies exercise by watching themselves in the mirrors, honestly if you stuck turnips up your nose to exercise most people wouldn't notice

@GetTheStartyParted Good for your DS and his friends making people feel welcome. That’s lovely. I teach group classes and the biggest kick I get from my job is seeing the progress of people who start out with a long way to go. I get less satisfaction from seeing the super fitties turn up and do their thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they’ve chosen to come to my class and I want to make it a good experience for them, but the real job satisfaction comes from seeing the participants who come from a starting point of being very unfit. Their progress can be very quick and quite remarkable!

All great advice about no one really caring who is doing what but I'm going to go against the grain a little and say don't go in baggy joggers and an old t-shirt - get some black leggings with lots of Lycra from GoodMove at M&S or from Sweaty Betty, and a good sports bra with a loose vest over the top. They're honestly more flattering than bigger clothes, although you might feel more exposed to begin with, you'll actually be blending in better. And you won't get so hot and sweaty, which always makes me feel self conscious.

Try to find a class that caters to all levels of fitness so you don't feel out of place immediately. I love Zumba (you can really burn up a ton of calories if you go for it), Body Pump (start with small weights, progress over time, always a new person in every class), and Body Balance (yoga/Pilates to music, most people too focussed on not falling over to scrutinise the size of anyone else's arse).

One of the many things I love about my local council gym, as a chunky 40 something, is the total absence of mirrors in the studios where the classes take place. Everyone really does dance (and lift and downward dog) like no one's watching.

Classes are absolutely the way to go, much better workout than wandering around the gym wondering what to do next.
The first one is always the hardest, the nerves about walking in, where do I put myself and what do I do! But once that's done the second time is automatically so much easier

Lots of gym bunnies exercise by watching themselves in the mirrors, honestly if you stuck turnips up your nose to exercise most people wouldn't notice grin

Oh shit, mirrors! I definitely do not want to see myself while I'm exercising. At least that eliminates my worry of "where do I start?" Answer: any equipment that isn't facing a mirror

I've been to every kind of gym...posh ones, council ones, budget ones! Literally no one will pay you any attention..they are all doing their own thing. Gyms are full of old people, young people, fit people, unfit people, fat people, thin people. You're only a size 14...no one will bat an eyelid

Most people will be very happy to see you there and getting stuck in. Go when it will be quiet to begin with and get familiar with the place. If you are not sure how best to use the gym see if you can get a PT for a couple of sessions to get you started.