Joined a gym and scared to go. Talk some sense into me!

[neverbeenskiing]

Before having my DC I was a size 10 but since having my youngest 3.5 years ago I've gradually crept up to a size 14 and I'm feeling rubbish about myself. I blame a combination of lockdowns, constant tiredness (youngest has SEN and doesn't sleep) making me crave carbs and sugar and PND causing me to eat my feelings. I feel frumpy, unattractive and sluggish.

I was working FT but I've recently reduced my hours and realised I now have no excuse as I can get out to exercise 3-4 times a week, which wasn't possible before. So in a fit of optimism last night I joined a local gym, telling myself it will be good for my mental health and I'll feel like less of a wobbly, useless lump if I actually do something instead of just complaining about it. They have different classes everyday and I got quite excited about trying yoga, pilates, maybe going for a swim. Now in the cold light of day I'm regretting it and really don't want to go

I'm 37 years old and have never set foot in a gym in my life. I'm scared I'll be the only person in there who isn't super-fit, toned and thin and people will stare. I'm scared I won't know what to do, I know that sounds daft but I genuinely don't know where to start! What if I can't work the equipment or there's some unspoken gym etiquette I'm not aware of and I make a complete twat of myself? What do I wear?? The thought of squeezing myself into tight active-wear that shows all the lumps and bumps I spend my life trying to hide fills me with dread!

I know it's ridiculous, I'm a grown woman with a professional job and usually very capable, but it just feels so intimidating and completely out of my comfort zone.

At 37 and a size 14 you are not going to be anywhere near the largest person in the gym if that's your worry. No-one cares honestly. I go swimming everyday at my gym and I care not I look like the short wide middle aged person I am. I have no idea who's new, who's not, how fast anyone else is, how long they have been in. I just carry on in my own wee world. After a couple of times you'll be a pro.

First of all, go for it and good luck!

I remember sitting outside the gym before my first PT session considering running away and wondering why I even considered the gym.

I couldn't have been more wrong! The people are friendly and staff lovely and helpful, and this is just a Pure Gym (the one I go to is amazing). I've been going for ten months and it's the best decision I ever made.

People will just be doing their routines and won't be staring. Get an induction, go to classes and find what you enjoy. Enjoyment and consistency are key, no point in committing to endless cardio if you hate it.

Structure is important. Don't wander around wondering what to do, build routines and stick to them to see progression.

Good luck!

No, just plug yourself in and watch TV or listen to music. You may draw attention to yourself if you wear an eye mask to avoid the mirrors though

Classes are absolutely the way to go, much better workout than wandering around the gym wondering what to do next.

This makes a lot of sense to me. I think maybe I should still be brave and do an induction though so I can learn how to use the equipment..that way I've got the option. Also I don't want my fear of the main gym to become a 'thing'.

Best of luck OP. You will be fine. People of all shapes and sizes go to the gym. I am a self confessed fitness fanatic, and if I see someone at the gym who is a bit larger, out of shape, I never judge, I just think good for you for trying!
Maybe have a chat to one of the gym's personal trainers - they will be used to working with people like you and will set you up with a manageable programme and goals.

Go when it will be quiet to begin with and get familiar with the place.

Two days a week during school hours and then weekends are my only option really. I'm thinking I may just stick to classes on weekends, or go really early since DS has me up at 5am anyway!

Thanks @waterlego

He's currently in the army but I've suggested he looks into becoming a PT in the future because he genuinely loves helping his friends and giving them advice and routines.

I was similar size and age 55 when I started going to gym. I find everyone friendly and no one stares or judges. If I see a new person, I just think good for them and sincerely hope they get the habit and enjoy it as much as me.

I go after the morning school run and it's my favourite time. It's much quieter and I can just get on with my routines.

If you can hire a PT it will be worth it, it's given me so much confidence and you'll know you're doing the right technique/form, especially with free weights.

Otherwise the staff are always on hand to help, they'll be more than happy to show you exercises and ideas.

You can do this! Don't look back on yourself a year from now wishing that you had just gone for it. Booking an induction will make sure that you know how to use the equipment and that you get told about all the gym etiquette.

Re: squeezing yourself into clothes - there is no rule that you have to wear tight clothes. Go into town and get yourself some nice loose fitting exercise clothes to wear (and a strong sports bra).

No one knows what they are doing when the first join the gym, that's why they have the inductions. It would be weird if you turned up knowing it all already - it's expect that you know nothing!

Hi OP

Give yourself credit where its due - you've taken the first step and joined, and have even started looking up classes. Seriously, this is brilliant, well done.

I agree with PP that classes are the way to go but I would start off 'easy'. Don't throw yourself into doing three or four of the harder classes in your first couple of weeks. You'll physically and mentally feel like shit because your body's not used to it, you'll end up needing to take lots of time off, and you'll feel guilty like you've failed at gym-ing.

I'd suggest trying one class in your first week. Then in the second week, do the same class and then maybe a half hour swim on a different day. Week three you could maybe try another class - so two classes and a swim. Build up from there over the course of several weeks until you get to a point you're happy with in terms of time-commitment, enjoyment, and feeling like its working.

I would also recommend starting with fairly universal/easy classes. Don't go to a bootcamp as your first class, for example, start off with something like LBT. Yoga and pilates sound lovely but they can be absolutely brutal. I would ask the people at the front desk about what classes might be appropriate. Don't be embarrassed - tell them the truth, that you're just trying to get into exercise and want to start gradually.

I'd also really, really, really strongly recommend getting into weight training. A mixture of cardio exercises and weight training is absolutely the best thing for improving overall fitness and condition, and for toning up.

In terms of the gym itself, if you can afford it I would 100% recommend booking a session with a good PT. So many people come into gyms and just jump on a piece of equipment without any plan for why they're using it, how long for, what it's achieving etc.
A PT will listen to your goals and design a plan for you, telling you which gym equipment to use, for how long, in what order etc.. It's much much better to spend, say, just 20 minutes in the gym using appropriate equipment well, than spend 2-hours just bouncing around from one machine to another. Spend some time online, on Instagram, checking out the PTs in your local area until you find one you like the feel of.

I'm size 16 and go to my local gym. No one has ever given me a second look. I've never really noticed anyone else either.

I love aqua aerobics classes, as no one can see when I fuck up the moves as it's under water. I have no rhythm or coordination so exercise to music classes just end up with me embarrassed!

Yoga is great too, I found I was usually one of the youngest there, but that could be because I went to daytime classes.

@DuaLeaper

All great advice about no one really caring who is doing what but I'm going to go against the grain a little and say don't go in baggy joggers and an old t-shirt - get some black leggings with lots of Lycra from GoodMove at M&S or from Sweaty Betty, and a good sports bra with a loose vest over the top. They're honestly more flattering than bigger clothes, although you might feel more exposed to begin with, you'll actually be blending in better. And you won't get so hot and sweaty, which always makes me feel self conscious.

Try to find a class that caters to all levels of fitness so you don't feel out of place immediately. I love Zumba (you can really burn up a ton of calories if you go for it), Body Pump (start with small weights, progress over time, always a new person in every class), and Body Balance (yoga/Pilates to music, most people too focussed on not falling over to scrutinise the size of anyone else's arse).

I was going to say this too. You'll feel more confident in a decent pair of leggings that hug and flatter your shape, with a longer top to disguise your middle. And a good sports bra is going to support your boobs and keep everything in place. Much more comfortable.

If you joined online, could you give them a call today and say Hi, I've just joined up online, but would really appreciate it if someone could give me a bit of a look around, and let me know about inductions etc

Then pitch up, have a nosey around and see what's what and what everyone's doing (and wearing)

It won't seem so intimidating if you can picture it in your head before you go.

Thank you all so much for your advice and encouragement. I've just booked a place on the Monday morning Pilates class. Bricking it but I am determined to go and give it a try! The induction is online so I'll do that at some point over the weekend but good to know from posters here that if I'm still not confident about how to use the machines properly after watching the videos I can always ask a member of staff.

A few of you have mentioned booking a PT session. I will look into this. Not sure I can justify the cost on top of membership fees when I've just cut my hours for work but will have a think.

Please don't go in old joggers and a t shirt as pps have suggested, I've never seen anyone dressed in 'old joggers'. Get down to Matalan/ Asda and buy some ankle or mid length gym pants and a looser fitting top.

Pilates is a great one to start with and you'll find there's a mix of abilities/ages and sizes. Good luck OP, hope you enjoy it.

You need to get a gym induction to develop a programme for you, show you how to use the equipment and set the right weights and levels for. A good gym should book you in for this when you join! Some of the cheaper ones charge extra and class it as a Personal Training session but it would be well worth paying for.

The clientele at gyms can really vary depending on the time of day - mornings at mine tend to be retired folk and the yummy mummies doing classes, afternoons are quieter and the evenings is the post-work crowd. Late evening also tends to be quiet as do weekend afternoons. Some gyms attract more of the "instagram crowd" than others! Don't be intimated, most folk just get there head down and get on with their workout, they won't even notice what you're wearing.
Go for a swim first as you can't really go wrong with that!

I used to think like you and now onwosh I'd done it years ago. Try a class, book one in now. It'll not be like anything you're expecting.

I usually get the newbies put in my group at class, they're always a bit scared and worried about people looking at them, but the majority come back again and again. One day you'll be the one reassuring newcomers. Just take that step, you won't regret it. Good luck.

@neverbeenskiing

Thank you all so much for your advice and encouragement. I've just booked a place on the Monday morning Pilates class. Bricking it but I am determined to go and give it a try! The induction is online so I'll do that at some point over the weekend but good to know from posters here that if I'm still not confident about how to use the machines properly after watching the videos I can always ask a member of staff.

A few of you have mentioned booking a PT session. I will look into this. Not sure I can justify the cost on top of membership fees when I've just cut my hours for work but will have a think.

Well done, you. Make sure you come back on Monday to tell us how you got on.

I'd advise going into the class with your head high, a smile on your face, a positive approach. Find a spot near the front so you can see the instructor (doesn't have to slap-bang in the centre but not right at the back of the room). Slinking in at the back, all hunched shoulders and hiding isn't going to put you in a positive frame of mind. And you won't be able to see the instructor. This is all more likely to make you feel like you're rubbish at it, and like everyone ostracized you which isn't going to make you want to go back!

I'd also make sure to introduce yourself to the instructor, tell them you're new. After the class, they might have a couple of tips on key areas you can work on.

Be ready for the first class to hurt . Be ready to try it again even if you're rubbish. But don't feel wedded. If you don't enjoy it, stop going, try another class. Don't beat yourself up about it - not everyone likes the same exercise classes, you just need to find the right one for you.

If you can't spring for a PT then the people at the gym might be able to offer you a workout plan. But they're usually mainly there to help show you how to use machines (in a general sense - pull this, lift that, adjust here etc.), rather than design specific workout plans. I really would try to get a PT-designed plan if you possibly can.

Agree with PPs on the clothing too - don't go in baggy old clothes. Leggings, a good sports bra with a loose fitting vest over the top will make you look much more like you 'belong'.

The weight machines often have stickers on, advising how to use them. The cardio equipment (treadmill etc) is usually fairly easy to figure out, often just pressing a 'go' button. It may well take only one visit for you to feel more comfortable there, and it's definitely worth it. Classes are great as you just follow the instructor. Everyone will have been new, and probably nervous, at some point, so don't be afraid to ask questions if you need to. Good luck!

I would start with the classes and hold off a bit before booking any personal training sessions. You might find that the classes are enough or you might find that the classes highlight a particular issue, eg stamina or flexibility or lack of upper body strength.

Once you know whether there's a particular thing you want to work on, watch the trainers as they work with their clients and read their cv (if they're up on the gym website). You will want one with a personality that suits yours (I hate the super-cheery or shouty type) and who has a good range of qualifications and experience. Personally I like a personal trainer who does a sport rather than one who is a gym bunny, people who do a sport are good at functional fitness rather than just muscle building to look good.

If you do decide to go with a personal trainer maybe book a weekly session for three or four weeks and then move to once a month so that they can update your routine and suggest new exercises.

I joined a gym when I was a size 30 (lost a considerable amount of weight over the past 2 years or so)
Seriously no one is bothered
Oh actually tell a lie, I had a gym bunny who was on the next treadmill to me, gave me a couple of sideways sneers, I asked her if she was having some sort of stroke as her face was a funny shape put my ear phones on and then tuned in to a baking channel......

From a clothing perspective my preferred outfit is a crop top, with a long baggy sleeveless top from Sports Direct (2 for £13, USA pro) over the top of (also cheap, sports direct) leggings. They do leggings which have a ribbed waistband which I find v flattering - the crop top and ribbed high waisted set up is so good I would almost be prepared to go to the gym without the long vest top over the top and I'm currently obese so it's definitely worth considering.

Every gym I have ever belonged to (quite a few) had a huge range of users in ages, fitness levels, size, etc. I can't promise you that nobody there will be a gym bunny, but they will probably be a very small number if there at all. And the vast majority of people at the gym are there to work out, emphasis "work"! If you're doing it properly, you're far too busy sweating and focusing on the move to pay any attention to those around you

In sort-of defence of the mirrors, they are there to check form - to check that you're using your muscles correctly during an exercise and not hunching your back, etc. So there are often mirror walls in studios or gyms - but you don't have to look at them, and if you're in a class you'll be looking at the instructor and not the mirrors.

Good luck. I love working out. It's such an incredibly positive thing for your body AND your mind and you will not regret the time you give to it. You can wear whatever you want, but I would agree with PP that it's worth getting down to M&S (their Goodmove brand is reasonably priced and very good for the price point) and making sure you have a pair of dark high waisted leggings and a good bra that you can wear with a loose top. It will give you the best freedom of movement and be more flattering.

I started going to classes a few months ago. I was so nervous, but there really were people of all different shapes, sizes and abilities. Nobody is judging because they're all too busy focusing on what they're doing (and if anyone is judging, it says more about them than you). I also hated the thought of seeing myself in the mirrors, but actually it can be quite helpful to look at yourself and your form/posture to make sure you're doing things correctly