Joined a gym and scared to go. Talk some sense into me!

[neverbeenskiing]

Before having my DC I was a size 10 but since having my youngest 3.5 years ago I've gradually crept up to a size 14 and I'm feeling rubbish about myself. I blame a combination of lockdowns, constant tiredness (youngest has SEN and doesn't sleep) making me crave carbs and sugar and PND causing me to eat my feelings. I feel frumpy, unattractive and sluggish.

I was working FT but I've recently reduced my hours and realised I now have no excuse as I can get out to exercise 3-4 times a week, which wasn't possible before. So in a fit of optimism last night I joined a local gym, telling myself it will be good for my mental health and I'll feel like less of a wobbly, useless lump if I actually do something instead of just complaining about it. They have different classes everyday and I got quite excited about trying yoga, pilates, maybe going for a swim. Now in the cold light of day I'm regretting it and really don't want to go

I'm 37 years old and have never set foot in a gym in my life. I'm scared I'll be the only person in there who isn't super-fit, toned and thin and people will stare. I'm scared I won't know what to do, I know that sounds daft but I genuinely don't know where to start! What if I can't work the equipment or there's some unspoken gym etiquette I'm not aware of and I make a complete twat of myself? What do I wear?? The thought of squeezing myself into tight active-wear that shows all the lumps and bumps I spend my life trying to hide fills me with dread!

I know it's ridiculous, I'm a grown woman with a professional job and usually very capable, but it just feels so intimidating and completely out of my comfort zone.

@OhJesusEffingChrist

I joined a gym when I was a size 30 (lost a considerable amount of weight over the past 2 years or so) Seriously no one is bothered Oh actually tell a lie, I had a gym bunny who was on the next treadmill to me, gave me a couple of sideways sneers, I asked her if she was having some sort of stroke as her face was a funny shape put my ear phones on and then tuned in to a baking channel......

I love you OhJesusEffingChrist

You will love it! Everyone does after they get over the first time going nerves. You get all sorts at the gym, very old to young, large to little, heavy to slim, we even have wheel chair users and people with lost limbs, you get all sorts, no one stares….their too busy looking at themselves!!

neverbeenskiing I would never go to my gym between 5 and 8pm as that's when all the muscle men go and you can never get onto a piece of equipment! My best time is 5am but I do appreciate thats really early for most normal people .

The one thing you can be assured of - no-one gives a damn about how anyone else looks! Yes you might get some funny looks if you stand on your head to use a lat pull down machine - or face backwards on a seated row machine or (as in my case) you start doing star jumps or high knee jogs in between sets but in general you get on with your stuff and everyone else gets on with theirs!

If you ask for a induction they would show you how to work the
equipment and you can then see the types of people who go also. I find different types at certain times of day after 9.30am the school mums and retired people then weekends an evenings the younger people who are at work or studying in the daytime. Myself personally thinks its better when workout equipment is placed in positions which avoid being stared at by some. Start of once a week see how you go take your headphones if you not feeling social plus music motivates... you can always try another gym find one you like with a good vibe .

A large proportion of people at the gym (well, mine anyway) are like you, honestly. And a lot of people (like me) just wear any old comfy stuff they've got.

Most people there are either a) totally in their own world doing their workout and taking no notice of you or b) feeling self conscious, trying to hide it and wondering how to work the equipment!

Book an induction, get the instructor to show you how to use everything. That is their job, they are used to newcomers.

The first time you go, don't plan to do a workout, just plan to arrive, work out where to park, how to get into the gym itself, how to use the lockers if you need to put your purse/keys away, where the water cooler is and how to use one machine. Then go home.

The next day, use the same machine, plus one other machine.

Just build it up. If you forget how to use something, just ask someone, in my experience people are always happy to help with that sort of stuff.

Good luck and well done for taking the first step!

I'm bigger than you OP and I recently joined (re-joined) the gym. People honestly don't give a shit - I've been where you are but I realised that most people in the gym aren't looking at you - the people you're imagining they are, only exist on Instagram. I promise you.

Brilliant advice here, you can do this!

Definitely don't wear paint splattered joggers, I would treat myself to some nice new gym clothes, hold your head high and go in like a boss. Ask for an induction definitely.

Took me two years to pluck up the courage to do classes, god do I regret that lost time a decade later!

Treat yourself to some lovely gym wear, I feel much better going for a run once I had done nice stuff to put on.

Hi OP, how did you get on?

I did it! I've been to two classes this week (yoga and pilates), small steps but after not doing any exercise for years I felt like I needed to ease myself in gently. You were all so right, there were people of all ages, shapes and sizes and truly no one gives a shit. I feel so silly for worrying now!
I also had my induction so now I know how to work the machines (much easier than I thought!) i'm going to go early on Sunday morning while hopefully it'll be quiet.
I took all your advice and treated myself to some nice high waisted gym leggings, decent sports bras and loose, flowy vests. I thought I'd look ridiculous but I was surprised I actually feel really good in them
I wish I'd done this year's ago. Thank you all for giving me the push I needed.

@neverbeenskiing, yay ! Well done 👏

@neverbeenskiing well done!
Getting there for the first session is the hardest thing to do - I'm so glad you did it x

Wear loose clothes and stand at the back of any classes at first if you feel self conscious. There will be all sorts of body types there, in all sorts of stages of fitness. The only time I have ever instinctively recoiled in revulsion at a gym was a woman who was in a lethal stage of anorexia.

Remember, people probably aren't interested in looking at or judging you. They are too busy looking at and judging themselves.
If they are judging you, so what? You have signed up to get fitter, stronger and more toned, so it is idiotic to negatively judge someone who is doing this.