Would you turn back time?

[Hannah8514]

If you could, would you turn back time and if so, to when and why?

@GreenWhiteViolet

If I keep the knowledge that I have now, I'd go back to age 12, homeschool myself through GCSEs, and see how different my life would have been without the following decade of absolutely crippling depression and self-hatred. I'd have the counterarguments to give to 'all children have to go to school' and such, and the vocabulary and emotional maturity to make myself heard.

If I can't change anything, just relive it, then the lovely year I spent in Cambridge.

@GreenWhiteViolet - agreed re self hatred and depression but mine was mostly linked to puberty and severe PMT which was not really known about then - early 1980s!

I so wish that teens now know all about how to talk about feelings, that its ok to think you're mad sometimes and you're really not - it's hormones!

When I left school 6 months early at 16, I recall speaking to 2 close friends still at school and both admitted they felt 'mad' at times but it wasn't mad or anything - was teenage puberty kicking in and hormones!

In fact the best thing our PE teacher did in my private school (was there 2 years) was meditation once and I knew a bit about that as I'd done it at home!

Yes 100%

Please don't send me private messages.
I do not open or read them.
Thank you.

@Gonnagetgoing I'm sorry that you went through that too! You're right, teenage girls aren't told nearly enough about hormonal cycles and how they can affect mood. I also fell into the 'I feel this, therefore it's definitely true' trap back then. I still have occasional mental health blips with no obvious triggers, but they're manageable because I catch them at the outset, recognise them for what they are, and have strategies for making them pass as quickly and mildly as possible. Age 14 it was like staring down an abyss, with no indication that it would ever end.

I did end up getting a bit of counselling through my GP, but as my mother told me that being honest with the counselor about how bad it was would 'get me locked up' (and she was in and out of mental hospitals herself, so I thought she would know) I lied and it was of very limited use. Psychotherapy in my mid-twenties made a massive difference though (generally happy now, lots of qualifications, job that I enjoy).

Young people today do seem much more aware and accepting of these kinds of issues, though, so that's something at least.

I was thinking about this last week after watching a random TV show (Hindsight) on the Roku Channel.

I have DCs, one through an abusive marriage so it’s a difficult thing to think about as the thought of any of them not existing is horrid.

But. There was one key point in my life, which is when I was in Year 9 and the bursary for my private school was pulled as my Step Dad had earned more money (self employed) and my mother forced me to leave rather than allow my paternal Grandparents to pay for it (out of inheritance that I’d received and was held in trust by them, or something).

Meaning I went to a vile local comp, in which every single lesson was disrupted by violence from classmates, it was truly horrendous and I’ve no doubt that decision had a huge impact on my life.

So that’s the one I’d go back to. I’d like to see how different things would be if my mother had made a better choice for me.

I'd like to relive age 17-19. So much hope and potential and I was slim.

I'd also like to relive Oct-Dec 2019, one of the best adventures I've ever had.

In terms of what I would change-- I'd warn myself to watch my health more closely before it spun out of control.

Going back and changing something is hard, it's inevitable I wouldn't have the kids I have now, probably not the DH.
The thing I'd go back and change, maybe I'd have stayed with my ex and got married. He cheated on me as a gf when times were beyond hard, but that wouldn't have happened. Would he have remained faithful? Our relationship was pretty tempestuous. If we had married in not sure it would have lasted. Maybe I'd have met my current DH post divorce but he'd have never have fated me if I already had kids.
So I'd be without one trauma but no guarantee I'd actually be happier.

Yes, to 2015, and I would have persuaded my dc to choose a different ballet school. She'd been offered several with funding for full-time vocational training, and the one she ended up at turned out to be a complete disaster in more ways than one.

[quote GreenWhiteViolet]@Gonnagetgoing I'm sorry that you went through that too! You're right, teenage girls aren't told nearly enough about hormonal cycles and how they can affect mood. I also fell into the 'I feel this, therefore it's definitely true' trap back then. I still have occasional mental health blips with no obvious triggers, but they're manageable because I catch them at the outset, recognise them for what they are, and have strategies for making them pass as quickly and mildly as possible. Age 14 it was like staring down an abyss, with no indication that it would ever end.

I did end up getting a bit of counselling through my GP, but as my mother told me that being honest with the counselor about how bad it was would 'get me locked up' (and she was in and out of mental hospitals herself, so I thought she would know) I lied and it was of very limited use. Psychotherapy in my mid-twenties made a massive difference though (generally happy now, lots of qualifications, job that I enjoy).

Young people today do seem much more aware and accepting of these kinds of issues, though, so that's something at least.[/quote]
@GreenWhiteViolet - no worries - I'm over it now! I basically had anxiety attacks and then the attacks were combo of a mini nervous breakdown but every 2-3 years for 2-3 weeks and it was awful as no one knew what to do and I was in sleeping tablets, valium etc and all that did not a jot of good! It was only when DM made the connection between periods and these episodes and I was put on BCP (pill) at 15/16 that things got normal! I used to see a therapist who was useless because he listened to me whereas I wanted reassurance that I was 'sane'!

I'm really lucky that my mental health blips have all but disappeared - occasional depression and anxiety etc.

Agreed that as a teenager it was dire and painful but no one ever talked about for fear of being labelled mad - in early-mid 90s.

I'm pleased that psychotherapy helped and I also had some form of therapy in early 30s which helped.

Hormonal cycles and how they relate to mood I still think is a bit misunderstood but much better than it was!

I agree with you again re young people being more aware and accepting of these issues, I mean it's not great although CAHM's is out there, but at least there's more support and willingness to talk about issues generally and not just with therapists.

Yes. To 2010. I would have handled everything differently. Oh, for foresight!

@Dumbitdown 💕 your post brought tears to my eyes. My faith teaches me that we will all be with our loved ones in the next world and there will be no disease or heartache or sadness. We will meet our mums again x

Yes, I'd be a child and never grow up.

Probably to before school age though, as I really hated it 😂

Yes..id go back 41 years and throw my dad a condom

Then I'd never exist
Gotta be better than this

If I could, I’d turn the clock back just for one weekend, back to when I was about 6/7 years old. We lived in the first house my parents bought, my mum worked Saturday mornings, so me and Dsis would either be at the park with my paternal grandmother followed by Penny sweets from the shop, or we’d be on the sidelines watching my dad play football. We’d then go to the pub with dad where mum would join us when she’d finished work. We’d go home, have dinner together - it was the only day of the week both of my parents would be home for dinner. When bedtime rolled around, me and my dad had a little secret: I would stay awake until I heard the “code word”…. dad would crank the volume up on the tv so I could hear the Match Of The Day theme tune starting. That was my signal that mum had gone to bed, and the coast was clear for me to sneak downstairs and watch the match day highlights with Dad Normally I’d fall asleep cuddled up to my dad pretty quickly, but those Saturdays hold some of my best childhood memories and I’d give anything to experience it again.

That's so cute Potato.

@Snugglepumpkin

I would turn back time to a couple of weeks ago & stop my stupid sister visiting my parents & giving them Covid.

Due to complications my father is now dying as he wasn't well enough recovered from his lung surgery & he got an infection in his lungs that is not responding to any treatment.

By this weekend he will be dead if he even makes it through tonight & all she cares about is that she wants to see him (because she wants him to forgive her for giving him Covid, not because she actually cares about anything else like the fact he's dying because of it) so she's drama queening around the place actually screaming at my poor (still sick with Covid & about to become a widow) mother because what she doesn't know is that my dad DOES blame her so if she sees him (he doesn't want to see her) he won't be forgiving her for anything.

So, he's dying, so close to dying they have said anyone can visit him any time day or night & she's making it all about her & I desperately wish I could turn back time.

My parents have spent 2 years isolating & only leaving the house to attend hospital visits, both unable to have vaccines for medical reasons, but my bitch of a sister thinks she can't survive unless she's out every night or shopping in London & that she doesn't need to be responsible for her actions & she's fine because she has had her vaccinations so my dad is dying & she's making it worse for everyone.
She's out drinking & telling the world how my mother is trying to stop her seeing 'her dad' because it's all about her.

If I could turn back time, I'd not only have a dad next week, but a sister I wasn't furious at.
How do you forgive someone for that?
Or for acting the way she is now?

I am so sorry.

@ForgedInFire

Absolutely. My oh died by suicide a few months ago. I had no idea he was feeling so low. If I had one wish, it would be to go back in time to the night before and find a way to stop him

I'm so sorry.

@SleepingStandingUp it’s one of those things where people will say “it’s only a game!”….but as clichè as it sounds, it’s so much more than that! Football is something that has bonded me and my dad throughout my whole life and so many memories are attached to it. It’s so much more than a game 🥰

Yes. To 1990, before I got pregnant with my son. I wouldn't get pregnant. He died of a cot death & ive never ever been the same. I would do anything to stop that happening.

If I knew I could change something and it made things better, then yes.

@beachcitygirl I'm so sorry 💐❤️

Oh yes. To 1987.

In theory, to 1984 to not have an argument with my dad when leaving for school in the morning. Came home after school and I found him dead in his truck, pipe through window. Last thing I said to him was get lost.

I would do the whole damn thing again. But actually enjoy it this time rather than be consumed with self doubt and anxiety the whole time.

@Marmelace

In theory, to 1984 to not have an argument with my dad when leaving for school in the morning. Came home after school and I found him dead in his truck, pipe through window. Last thing I said to him was get lost.

I am very sorry .