Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Failed to stop for police - why am I such an idiot?!

284 replies

ilovelamp2 · 21/02/2022 15:52

Having an absolute melt down over here - hope someone can talk me down and/or make me feel better by telling me silly things you have done when driving ..... Basically, I was on a narrow road, one lane each way, fairly chunky verge. Blue lights behind, panicked and drove few 100 metres to next roundabout to get out of way. Totally, totally know now I should have just stopped on side but I panicked. So embarrassed. Police pointed to wind my window down when they got alongside me. They were understandably irrate. I have a lot of respect for our police force and am mortified that I have made their job even more difficult than it already is. Literally cannot stop sobbing!

OP posts:
Kezzie200 · 21/02/2022 19:39

I was stopped once when I left a pub at Christmas (after my swimming meet we had a Christmas drink and mine was non alcoholic) but happy it was Christmas I was singing to myself and probably looked a good bet for being under the influence.

It was dark, rural, and I was on my own. It was really scary stopping. And that was 20 years ago! I did stop but every fibre of my being didn't want to.

I was even a bit scared using the breathalyser as it was so remote and two police officers versus me. They were polite but not jokey until I proved to be negative.

I understand why you paniced

NutCheeseBag · 21/02/2022 19:40

Sadly not @ilovelamp2, but the outcome was not affected by the delay.

onegreyhair · 21/02/2022 19:40

I've done this as well! It was 10.30 at night, driving fast back to London to avoid the traffic on a Sunday night on a dark road into a village, there were no streetlights and a police car car up behind with flashing lights. It never occurred to me that they wanted ME to stop, I assumed they were on their way to an actual crime. So I carried on driving through the village with them following me, and then a few hundred yards along the road I pulled over so they could overtake ...
When they motioned to me to open the window I opened it only a few inches as by then it had occurred to me that this might be some kind of set up. Apparently I was speeding in a (newly designated) 30 mph area and they let me go with a strict telling off. For some reason I thought they'd go infront of me to make me stop rather than trailing along behind me for a couple of miles and it was really hard to see that it was actually a police car apart from the flashing light behind me. What must they have been saying about my driving (what does the silly bitch think she's doing comes to mind ..)

USaYwHatNow · 21/02/2022 19:42

Sometimes they're just arse holes. I remember ages ago I was pulling off the motorway onto a junction and a car had broken down on the slip road. A police officer was there waving me on but to safely get past the broken down car (and debris I think they had crashed) I had to move back into the motorway lane. I think he thought I was hesitating to gawp at the broken down car and got cross with me but there were cars flying past at 70+mph to my right.

I nearly forgot myself and gave him the finger, thank god I didn't 😂

tkwal · 21/02/2022 19:46

Was it a marked police car ? If not you were quite within your rights not to pull over

middleeasternpromise · 21/02/2022 19:53

Please don't lose your confidence in driving, its such an important independence skill and once you give in to the fear its very hard to get back. It sounds like you doubt yourself quite a lot in driving and this situation with the police panicked you into thinking all the negative thoughts. If you could afford it, you could treat yourself to a course of advanced driving lessons - where an experienced instructor teaches you some of the things you don't get to learn when you are trying to get through your initial test - including dealing with emergencies etc. I very much doubt the officers wanted you to feel this upset about your mistake - but they were probably so confused at what was happening they couldn't believe you were a sensible young parent with your child in the car and gave you the rule book lecture. Glad you're talking about it and getting a bit of perspective.

Christienne · 21/02/2022 19:54

Driving down the outside lane of the M5 at 70mph 80mph with strong sunshine in my rear view mirror and music on far too loudly.

Pulled into the middle lane after overtaking a car and yup you guessed it, police car behind me on blues and twos that I’d neither heard nor seen.

Judging by the hand gestures, they were not impressed (although I wasn’t outside lane hogging - was genuinely overtaking so not sure what they wanted me to do).

I don’t ever drive with music that loud now though…

Everyone makes mistakes OP. As others have said, clearly there was no emergency given they stopped (so they really shouldn’t have been on blue lights anyway).

Threeboysandadog · 21/02/2022 19:56

We live very close to a hospital so I’m well practiced at pulling in for ambulances. Last week I stopped for one but the stream of cars coming the other way just kept coming so, basically, I was blocking our side of the road (and it seemed to go on for ages). I’d have been better to have kept going till the next side road or the roundabout. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can.

HopelesslyOptimistic · 21/02/2022 19:58

You have done nothing wrong other than pull over when you felt it was safe. Not sure what offence they cop is talking about that you allegedly committed. Only offence I can see is a 'jobs worth' cop.

skodadoda · 21/02/2022 20:03

@jpbee

I thought this post was going to be about 'you' being pulled over by police and not stopping - police chase type stuff! I would just forget about it, I bet it happens all the time, people panic when they hear the sirens and don't always know what to do for the best.
So did I. You did not ‘fail to stop’.
Hasselhoffsheadband · 21/02/2022 20:03

Similar happened to me once with an ambulance - single carriageway on quite a windy road, with a steep verge so nowhere to pull over. Ambulance was behind me, I didn't really know if I should just stop and let them past when you couldn't really see what was coming the other way and I knew there was a place ahead to pull in so carried on for about 20 seconds and I got the dirtiest look from them as they went past - but it didn't feel safe to just stop in the road! I wasn't just pootling along at 30 mph either or anything. I ended up dwelling on it for the rest of the day and questioning what I should have done, so it's nice to know I'm not alone!

vdbfamily · 21/02/2022 20:08

My daughter is currently working in a European City. She rang today too say she had been on a train and saw a man coming who seemed to be harassing people and she thought he was asking for money like a charity collector or something. She thought he was a bit dishevelled. She tried to brush him off/ told him to leave her alone and it turned out he was the ticket inspector😱😱😱😱 He made her get off at next stop!!

curlymom · 21/02/2022 20:15

@SunshineCake1

I take your point Blossomtoes and it does read like that. I certainly didn't mean it. I assumed there would be an option for a stringer hearing aid.

@curlymom you don't get to tell me what to do.

Just go away.
waterlego · 21/02/2022 20:22

@superdupertruper: Which bit do you feel is not true? I wrote a paragraph consisting of various ramblings so you’ll have to help me out here

(Is it the bit about my car? I assure you my car is small Grin)

RozHuntleysStump · 21/02/2022 20:28

Even the police can be twats.

VladmirsPoutine · 21/02/2022 20:34

The police are generally a terrible institution. That they treated you like this is not shocking. Try not to take it to heart. This is who the police are.

labyrinthlaziness · 21/02/2022 20:41

They were probably just rushing to collect a takeaway Grin

Honestly don't worry about it. You were doing what you thought was right, no harm done.

ilovelamp2 · 21/02/2022 20:42

[quote SunshineCake1]@ilovelamp2 please feel free to let me know if I have offended you. Seems other posters have taken it upon themselves to be offended for you. Clearly it is a problem if someone is driving but can't hear a siren until it is right behind the driver. Other people have said what I have but just decide to try and pick on me.

I am confident I haven't been offensive.[/quote]
Hello - I'm not actually offended by what you said or what anyone else has said about hearing impairment.

It's not something that people really need to 'get' unless they either have it themselves or are close to someone who does. I also think it's a shame that many people I know still feel there's a stigma around hearing impairment and that it's associated with old age. Indeed, I know several people my age and younger who really should have their hearing checked but won't because they don't want to wear hearing aids. They're then amazed when I tell them I wear 2 - they'd never noticed! But still they haven't made an appt ...... I think this is why people don't talk about it and consequently why there is a lack of understanding. I understand some may be offended but I'm always conscious of the need not to be defensive as this can perpetuate the problem.

Hearing aids are amazing but they cannot replicate natural hearing. They amplify ALL sounds. So for example, the radio, my husband eating cereal (that's why I don't sit next to him at breakfast!) the door bell, all come through at near enough the same volume. The clever bit is, and it took me a while to adjust to this, is that over time, your brain 'prioritises' for want of a better word, noises which are more frequent and expected and therefore usually more important such as child speaking, phone ringing BUT this doesn't work so well if the sound is less frequent or not expected, for example, sirens, even though clearly they are very important. If I keep experiencing that sound (really hoping not!) then that will change over time. But just having my aids set louder wouldn't help. Someone else might be able to explain it better but hope that makes sense?

As for not being aware of what's around us, I really am, not this afternoon though cleary! The emergency vehicles have siren AND lights so I really should have responded better. I mentioned my hearing impairment as a reason why it might have seemed as if the car came out of nowhere but of course it didn't, and I was in the wrong. There are also lots of worse reasons why drivers are not aware of sounds outside the car - on phone, even hands free , wearing headphones, texting .....

Sorry for huge post!

OP posts:
SickAndTiredAgain · 21/02/2022 20:46

@gamerchick

Sometimes it's tricky. you still have to stop safely and your brain can freeze in the moment.

I especially like it when one starts their sirens when right on top of my car, making me jump out of my skin. It's fun.

When I was taken to hospital, DH was sitting in the front of the ambulance and they put the sirens on and a man in front fell off his bike in surprise.

(He was fine)

ilovelamp2 · 21/02/2022 20:56

@NutCheeseBag

Sadly not *@ilovelamp2*, but the outcome was not affected by the delay.
Sorry to hear that x ⚘️
OP posts:
SickAndTiredAgain · 21/02/2022 20:57

@MillyMollyMandyMaybe

In some other countries it’s the law that you just stop, and I think it should be here, too - it’s a bit unfair to put the onus on the driver to decide where it’s safe and appropriate to pull in, when you can’t be sure exactly where or how the police vehicle wants to go. If you know the rule is to stop, then you just stop, and don’t have to dither about finding a place you feel is safe. The police driver can then work out the best and safest path through the stopped cars, without moving vehicles getting in the way and being unpredictable.
I’ve heard that’s the law in other countries and I’ve never quite understood it - is it as black and white as “you literally immediately just stop”? They must have very different roads/traffic to here - around where I live there are multiple roads with long stretches of cars parked down one side and only room for one car to drive down. If you just stop, a police car isn’t going anywhere, let alone something bigger like a fire engine. Similar issue in narrow country lanes. Or are the laws more “stop immediately unless you are actively impeding the emergency vehicle” which makes more sense I think. I used to have a job that involved watching traffic footage and generally people are sensible I think, but I did see some shockers where people did really dangerous things when solely focusing on getting out of the police car/ambulance’s way - driving onto a pavement and nearly knocking over a pedestrian, that kind of thing.
Ididanamechange · 21/02/2022 21:01

I remember not long after I'd passed my driving test Id stopped at some traffic lights on red with an ambulance behind me with his siren and blue lights on. Normally id pull to the side but in this situation the only place I could go was forwards however forwards meant exiting a tunnel with a blind junction to the right. I didn't know if I was supposed to go and hope that any oncoming traffic could see the ambulance or wait until the lights turned green and go forward and pull to the side. I did the latter and when the ambulance passed the driver beeped their horn and glared at me. I still feel awful 10 years later

Marineboy67 · 21/02/2022 21:02

Ah fuck it we've all mistakes! No policeman or 11 year old were harmed by his mum driving on a few hundred yards. Be kind to yourself and do something nice with your son. Tomorrow's another day and no sense dwelling on yesterday.

whynotwhatknot · 21/02/2022 21:08

Apparently if youre at red lights and have to pull forward because of an emrgency vehicle if a camera fines you you can just explain when it was and u had to move

Op i dont thinnk you can win i saw on one of them police shows them putting on the sirens and someone stopped immediately in front of them they had a go for stopping too soon

YouokHun · 21/02/2022 21:54

@jpbee

I thought this post was going to be about 'you' being pulled over by police and not stopping - police chase type stuff! I would just forget about it, I bet it happens all the time, people panic when they hear the sirens and don't always know what to do for the best.
Me too @jpbee! I was expecting the full Starsky & Hutch car chase @ilovelamp2 and I’m a bit disappointed that you’re clearly one of the more responsible motorists on our roads! I used to work with someone who had been a traffic policeman, ploughing up and down the M4 in an unmarked car etc and the tales he told me of absolutely terrifying stupidity and aggression and of the tragedy that unfolds as a result, will stay with me for a long time. Your mistake Ilovelamp2 is nothing compared to that and I am sure those policemen have forgotton about it by now and in the intervening hours they’ll have already seen far worse.

I agree with others, emergency vehicles travelling at speed sometimes appear in the rear view mirror without us having time to assess the best place to stop and stopping can feel like the wrong thing to do. We live and learn and no one is an error free driver. Learn from it but don’t give yourself a hard time.

Swipe left for the next trending thread