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Original poster

To tell him I want to end it over this?

95 replies

WindyHail · 19/02/2022 13:58

Single parent to 4 year old work 30 hours a week chronic health issues seeing someone who earns a lot more than me. He has no kids I want to end it as I have no time and no money to do anything with him

OP posts:
Juniper68 · 19/02/2022 18:08

TracyMosby I see what you mean Shock

Original poster
WindyHail · 19/02/2022 18:14

He hasn't paid the car to be fixed. He offered and I considered. The car hasn't been fixed and he won't be paying

OP posts:
ThursdayAddams · 19/02/2022 18:16

@GirlOfTudor

If you liked him enough, you'd find the time, energy, etc. If you can't find those things, then he's not the one and you'll find someone who you see as being worth the effort.
This.

To the point of if you were that into him, seeing/spending time with this guy wouldn't seem like such a.... chore.

As someone else has said, he has eyes and contrary to most reports, they're not all stupid, he is probably more than aware you're not financially flush. Theres a strong possibility enjoys paying as he might shock want to pay for the things you can't, to be nice.

If you want an actual grown up relationship, have the conversation, however, this whole thread sounds like you're just looking for validation to ditch this guy. If that's the case, just do it and let him and yourself move on.

Fruitlesscalisthenics · 19/02/2022 18:19

FarFarFarAndAway 's advice is excellent! Talk to him op Flowers

Nosnogginginthekitchen · 19/02/2022 18:20

Personally I don't understand. I work 38 hours, have two kids and started a relationship with a childless man who earned fat more money. He's been amazing, has accepted I'm spinning plates, has been there when I'm free and done his own thing happily when I'm not so it's not inconceivable to make it work. However if he's not worth it to you then no amount of other people saying how it can work will help. It's you who's in this relationship and it's only you who can know if he would understand if you spoke to him and whether you think he's worth any time from you.
Long story short: you pays your money and takes your choice. Your life, you gotta live with the decisions

AngelinaFibres · 19/02/2022 18:34

@WindyHail

He elusive over wanting kids. I'm going to end it tonight.
You are not a passive observer in your own life Op. If he is evasive over the children question that's fine. That's up to him. You know you don't want to be pregnant again so tell him that. If he stays with you then presumably it's not that important to him. If it makes him think and he decides that he doesn't want the children option to disappear then the relationship will end. That's fine. My brother has spent his whole life being passive and looking astonished when, something everyone else could see a mile off, has happened. Decide what you want and nake it happen, with him or someone else.
pollygartertidywife · 19/02/2022 18:35

Ok OP ... you do you. What do you want everyone to say ?

IME being in a three month relationship with an actual human adult requires ME to be an actual human adult.. and TELL HIM the issues. Let him decide if it's too much.... rather than be so presumptuous as to know he won't want to be with you because you are struggling...then again you have already done that !

Original poster
WindyHail · 19/02/2022 18:36

I want people to say nothing thanks. Thread is over as far as I'm concerned

OP posts:
emuloc · 19/02/2022 18:43

@WindyHail

I want people to say nothing thanks. Thread is over as far as I'm concerned
Until your next one, where you will do much of the same as this one.
FireInCairo · 19/02/2022 18:50

What a strange narrative you have going on here

Just talk to him like an adult? Tell him you are struggling and why. Are you able to talk to him? You're clearly an adult so why not behave like one and speak to him about what's on your mind? Doesn't have to be some long involved dialogue but just a light conversation about what's on your mind.

I suspect you won't do that though so on balance, you're probably right to end it for his sake really. He deserves a girlfriend who can level with him

godmum56 · 19/02/2022 18:55

weirdest thread of the week.

Liz1tummypain · 19/02/2022 18:56

Sounds like you've decided. Just be straight with him and it'll all be fine.

Pumperthepumper · 19/02/2022 19:02

I think the first few months of a relationship should be fun, so for that reason I’d agree you should end it. It just sounds like it’s not the right time and that’s absolutely fine.

Ursusmajor · 19/02/2022 19:32

Oh, come on, it’s not that weird a thread. OP sounds a bit confused and overwhelmed because she is a bit confused and overwhelmed. She really likes this guy but is worried of she lets it continue he’s going to lose interest because she can’t be the perfect childless, financially well off, fancy free gf she thinks he wants. And she feels embarrassed about that. She wants to avoid getting heartbroken but getting her hopes up about this guy as a long-term thing. She might well be right about how this could play out if she keeps going. Or she might be wrong and she’d be throwing away a lovely relationship by ending it now. Of course she’s confused. She’s not a clairvoyant mind reader so she can’t know for sure how this man will feel about her in 6months time. Sorry you’re having a hard time OP. You don’t deserve the sarcastic replies in this post. Look after yourself.

daytriptovulcan · 19/02/2022 19:46

@WindyHail

I'm embarrassed I'm a poor single mum
Presumably you re also attractive, sexy and lovely which he why he wants to spend time with you.
Iusedtoliveinsanfrancisco · 19/02/2022 19:46

Agree with that, hope it all works out.

Rainbowqueeen · 19/02/2022 19:58

💐OP. It sounds like this is your first relationship since becoming single and you are still learning about what works for you.

I actually admire your thinking.

I would also end it and make it clear to him that if Is because you have realised you don’t have the time to devote to a relationship now.

Then focus on yourself and forget about dating until you feel you are in the right headspace for it. At that point you will make someone a wonderful partner

AlternativelyWired · 19/02/2022 20:50

With kindness OP, it doesn't sound like you're in the right time or space to be in a relationship. Concentrate on your physical and mental health for a good while until you are happy with yourself and then think about dating again.

CourtRand · 19/02/2022 22:31

I'd just talk to him about it. If he reacts weirdly then he's not for you and end it. Or you might find a workable solution.

DemBonesDemBones · 20/02/2022 10:23

@GirlOfTudor

Did you miss the bit where she says she has a chronic health condition?!

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