Swedish death cleaning. Starting today.

[Fuuuuuckit]

My mum died recently, and whilst she lived a very modest, simple life, there is So. Much. Stuff.

Cupboards full of paperwork going back decades. Receipts for things long-broken, passed on. Kitchenalia I've not seen used since my childhood. Family heirlooms that sadly mean nothing to me (passed down the generations, now so remote nobody even knows who they originated from). I am now somehow in charge of the family archive - certificates, letters, photos, boxes of family tree papers etc.

One day I'd like to say I'll find time to properly archive the family papers and photos. And of course a whole load of things I'll be keeping as they're so meaningful to me.

But it has really made me think about my own affairs, and leaving things for my NOK to sort through should/when anything happens to me.

So today, I'm making a start on my own stuff. I've just sorted my banking folder. All in separate wallets, in date order, in one file. Next is the bills folder. I know there are bills from providers I've not used for years.

I have a will, I think I need to arrange POA when I'm a bit more present.

Off the top of my head, next is - linen cupboard, bookshelves, dvd and video and Cd collection/hoard

It's going to ba a huge, ongoing job I think. But I'm always up for a good decluter (of my own stuff, it's so hard to even touch the stuff of my mum's)

Anyone fancy joining me?

Yes.
I have had COVID and never really recovered. I have left a my career as I wasn’t strong enough to continue. I have been fortunate enough to get a training contract in a new sphere but all the stuff from my old life is looming at me.
I want to move it.

Definitely do POA, also a Living Will is a good idea if you are that way inclined (Compassion in Dying have a good model) and funeral preferences if you have any.

I regularly declutter, but need to start attacking the attic which has boxes full of ‘treasures’ that I haven’t looked at in 13 years and are probably just motheaten tat!

We need to do this too, but I'm curious about your thread title, what's Swedish about it?

I did this last year. I’ve sorted through all photos of which we had a lot. I got rid of a lot of photos that my parents and grandparents kept that don’t mean anything to me someone mean anything to the DC. Everything has been put in wallets with a little story about who, why and when. I’ve also documented important stuff that DH and I have kept and why. All in plastic storage boxes in the loft.

The DC each have a box of important things so report cards, drawings, toys, clothes, etc.

I have 2 huge boxes of shredding which I will try to get a document shredding place to take away. That’s a job for the Easter holidays.

Our wills are about to be updated.

We got rid of a load of books, cds and DVDs but have kept sentimental stuff. Clothes have gone on Vinted or to the charity shop.

I’m not finished but about 3/4 of the way there. Just need more time!

We have wills and poa's but our home admin is chaotic.

I look forward to a time when my partner agrees to clearing out the cds, dvds, etc.

My Dad did something similar (no stuff unfortunately) but he created a death folder, all the details of his bank accounts, insurance policies and pensions and he chose and paid for his funeral.

@dudsville

We need to do this too, but I'm curious about your thread title, what's Swedish about it?

There's a book on this with that title, written by 80+ year old Swedish lady

My mum's asked me to help her do this as I'm by far the most brutal declutterer in the family. She assures me she's feeling fit and well currently, thank goodness

Dad is doing this. Oddly, mum became a bit obsessed in decluttering in the last 2 years. She got through most of her stuff but sadly passed away before she finished.

Dad has kept her sentimental things in place. Glasses in the table, handbag behind the living room chair etc but cleared alot out. Thing like clothes she didn't wear etc.

I have cataloged all the heirlooms as I think its likey my kids won't remember who things are from. I have jewellery from 4 generations ago.

I think its a really good idea. Dad doesn't want to leave us loads of stuff to sort. Though he does have a hobby that involves building models so we will have to see what happens with them

Whilst I am not doing it myself, I think your kids will thank you when the time comes. I think its a lovely thoughtful thing to do.

My mum did this years ago. She's still in fine fettle. I plan to do this when I move. Hopefully this year but we'll see. If I meet my maker before then my boys have a crap job ahead of them.

When we moved 4 years ago we decluttered loads but recently I decided to do it again. We have stuff that hasn't been touched since we moved so that's the line in the sand lol

@Duracellbunnywannabe

My Dad did something similar (no stuff unfortunately) but he created a death folder, all the details of his bank accounts, insurance policies and pensions and he chose and paid for his funeral.

Oh gosh yes, the horror of choosing a coffin, stationery, cars etc. I've already made a start on my own funeral plans, I can't imagine handing that pain onto my children.

Absolutely this is something I've been gradually doing.
There's a real sense of peace and having your affairs in order to it.
And sensible if there are any life changes not as extreme as death!

That would make a great scandi noir series! In fact from the thread title, I was wondering why you hadn’t posted in telly addicts!

I feel exactly the same as you about ‘stuff’. As well as grieving for her, it was a nightmare trying to sort out the important things from decades old paperwork and clutter, when my Mum died. It made me feel like I want to sort all my things out so my ds aren’t left with the same nightmare. It’s a work in progress!

My husband died last month;the very worst part is that he was a hoarder. That might sound horrible but having to go through all of his 'stuff' is making the bereavement so much harder. I'm literally ploughing my way through decades old paperwork as well as all the stuff from his many and varied hobbies. Our adult children have told me to 'go minimalist' and that is my aim. It's going to be a long hard road though.

Thanks!

Sorry, that was supposed to be thank you to @anotherneutralname!

This is the book:

Döstädning: The gentle art of Swedish death cleaning, by Margarets Magnusson

It's a really interesting read - I definitely recommend it.

you know what? no. My home admin is in good order and I have made a will. I do pass on things I no longer have a liking, use, or need for but I like my "stuff" None of it is treasure and there will be enough equity in the house for my inheritor (s) to get men with skips in and just trash the lot. I want to be happy while I am alive and if that means having more vintage glass and china/old books/crfat materials around than is consonant with minimalism then sobeit. Each to their own.

I'm sorry for your loss OP - I think you're right, and that SDC for ourselves is one of the best things we can do for those left behind. The book also makes the point that it can also benefit us during our life.

oh and yes I did have to clear my late husband's stuff. It was difficult but that IMO would have been no reason for him to be unhappy and minimalist while he was alive. I freecycled a lot and it was very comforting to see his tools and biker kit go off to people who could use them.

dad died last year large house massive loft and shed/garage took me 4 months 6 days a week,cried it was so full of old junk,rolls and rolls of years old celloptape no good any more. 12 xmas trees in loft ,old toys in loft.toold some furniture went to auction,lots on free sites.tip run 45 times, kept a few bits, check nothing has value before throwing away,good luck,made me start decluttering mine,

@Fuuuuuckit
"Oh gosh yes, the horror of choosing a coffin, stationery, cars etc. I've already made a start on my own funeral plans, I can't imagine handing that pain onto my children."

choosing a coffin and stationery????? stationery??????

My files are up to date and there are just two or three boxes of clutter but I do need to get a will in place. I tend to think that it would be simple enough because I’m divorced with kids so everything would just be divided equally but one of my DCs is still a minor which could complicate matters in terms of being able to own/sell part of my house.

I just want to say well done, and I hope your NOK appreciate it!

While you’re at it, please make sure you get rid of anything that would be upsetting to your DC after your death.

My DPs have both died over the past few years. They knew they were dying but, other than wills, they made zero preparations and we had a LOT to sort through. Fine, they weren’t well. But we found some letters from my mum which were very unkind about my brother, and really upset him. And we found some very extreme BDSM porn mags belonging to my dad, which really upset me. I have no idea why they didn’t just take five minutes to remove these terrible things from the house when they knew we’d have to go through it.

@BreakingUpWithMyPhone

This is the book:

Döstädning: The gentle art of Swedish death cleaning, by Margarets Magnusson

It's a really interesting read - I definitely recommend it.

I'm sold! It's like KonMari-ing for the dead!

I'll check this out now.