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Original poster

Absolutely mortified at work

76 replies

Sapphireskies · 17/02/2022 14:44

Hi all.

I work for a company and today I've been told I'm quite slow at something I've done at another branch in the past so done it a few years. I was also told a few people have mentioned my shirts have been gaping. I'm so incredibly mortified. Haven't stopped crying. I don't know if I can show my face again. I've not been at this branch long. From now on I'm wearing a shirt underneath my shirt and I'm also getting bigger ones but will have to wait awhile. I am so crap at everything I do. Literally nothing am I good at and I've been this way all my nearly 30 years. I'm sorry to post my sob story on here I just didn't know where else to turn. Work will help me become faster but I truly don't believe I could go that fast, I go as fast as I can as it is and always thought I was quite fast.

OP posts:

Dembones292 · 17/02/2022 14:48

Please don't beat yourself up about this. We've all been criticised along the way, I know I have and I know it hurts and it's hard not to take it to heart but you have to try and brush it off, put your game face on and get back out there. You might find as you get older you give less of a shit about what others think but until then, try not to let it get in your head.

Moltenpink · 17/02/2022 14:52

I’m sorry OP, I know that sucks. I was told my work uniform was too tight once after putting on a few pounds, yes it did hurt at the time but I’m over it now! What is the thing you need to speed up on, maybe someone has some tips?

KosherDill · 17/02/2022 14:53

They sound very tactless. If your manager made you feel this bad about minor matters, it is they who are not competent in their job. Keep that in mind.

What sort of task do they want you to increase speed on?

Don't let this get you down too long.

Batmanontheedge · 17/02/2022 14:54

You poor thing. I don't think you've been treated kindly at all. It seems very harsh.

Mabelface · 17/02/2022 14:58

Doesn't sound like they've been very professional in their comments. Have they put together some training for you with SMART goals? I bet 100% you're not useless.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 17/02/2022 15:13

Oh seriously fight fire with fire.
Slow compared to what? Is there a recognised standard? 5 widgets per hour? Are you slower but more accurate?
Are they work uniform shirts? Why can't they replace them today? It's not nice to hear but I can't wear shirts that button up because of my cleavage. By all means stick a t shirt on underneath.
Have a cry tonight but go in tomorrow with a whole list of questions!

peridito · 17/02/2022 15:14

Oh sweetheart ,of course you're not useless . + hug .

CatRatSplat · 17/02/2022 15:20

Have a cry, then get angry. How did they say this to you? Was it Infront of others, was it said professionally with as pp says suggestions on how they can help you improve if they can prove that you are indeed slower.

MrsBlaue · 17/02/2022 15:23

Sounds like BS to me. I’d turn up in the most revealing but still work-passable top possible and walk in smiling brightly and speaking loudly.
If they aren’t happy with your work, then they should re-think they hiring strategies. If they hired someone not competent enough, it’s on them.

OohRahhMaki · 17/02/2022 15:24

It may feel like it is just you, but the vast majority of working people have criticism flung at them at some point - often just as tactlessly as the way it was put to you. It really really hurts at the time.

Just know that you have a huge amount of value as a person, you are not worthless nor useless.

Any manager worth their salt will be impressed with someone who can take criticism well, learn and grow from it. (I'd even say these people are more valuable to an organisation than the ones who seemingly do everything perfect first time around as they have proven themselves to be resilient!!)

FlowerArranger · 17/02/2022 15:24

@Sapphireskies - it sounds like you need to work on your self-esteem.
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem is a good book, but there are many others out there.

mnahmnah · 17/02/2022 15:24

They’re being bitchy to the new person about things that either aren’t true or shouldn’t be a big deal. Keep your distance, keep doing the job you’re obviously experienced in and have faith that you’re a better person than them. Some people are just awful.

Mumdiva99 · 17/02/2022 15:25

What meanies. You have had some good advice upthread. I just wanted to say I have big books and sometimes shirts gape on me....while you wait for the larger ones.....stick a safety pin in from the back where it gapes to hold them shut, or sew up the worst bit and put it on and off over your head. (Wearing a tshirt underneath will make it tighter overall and the gape worse.)

Mumdiva99 · 17/02/2022 15:26

I do have big books....but I meant big boobs.

WeddingHangover · 17/02/2022 15:28

This sounds like the person giving you feedback is the person crap at their job! Everyone gets constructive feedback at various points in their career. When people give feedback well - it doesn’t feel like this !

This feedback is a load of garbage, it’s come out of the blue, it’s personal and it doesn’t sound like they have given you any measurable goals. It’s difficult to put on a brave face, but you have got this!

strawberrypotato · 17/02/2022 15:31

I'm so sorry to hear you're having a horrible day, have a good cry and let it all out. It sounds like they were a bit harsh but try to put this bad day behind you and then from tomorrow wear a strappy vest top underneath your shirts and take the support from your work they have offered for this task.

You're not crap, give yourself a break and try to stay positive

SeasonFinale · 17/02/2022 15:35

I am afraid I am going to go against the grain.

It is possible that you are slower than the people at this branch and that is why it has been brought up. You say they are going to help you get faster so in reality this is a non issue now .

Secondly if you are customer facing they will presumably want you to look smart and a gaping top wouldn't be. Alternatively they are doing it to protect your modesty. Again they may or may not have delivered this well - we don't know as you haven't said how they did this.

So again I suspect it is as someone else has mentioned a self esteem issue especially when you go on to say you are good at nothing etc. There is no need to be mortified. They are probably coming from a place of kindness here.

konasana · 17/02/2022 15:37

Wait though, who told you these things? What are their motivations? If it was your line manager or someone in charge of your work, then they were not acting very professionally to say that about your work speed without it being part of a discussion about how support you to change how you are doing the job. The shirt thing is unfortunate but why add the part about 'a few people have mentioned'? That's just rude and hurtful - and possibly untrue.

Alicetheowl · 17/02/2022 15:39

Well, you're clearly not crap at the task if nobody at the previous branch complained. Maybe you are replacing somebody who was exceptionally quick, or had developed techniques and shortcuts which nobody at your previous branch knew about? So it might be good to be trained on those.. Ignore the comments about your personal appearance, if it was a big issue then your previous branch would have said something, just maybe order some larger shirts.

Babyroobs · 17/02/2022 15:48

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Oh seriously fight fire with fire. Slow compared to what? Is there a recognised standard? 5 widgets per hour? Are you slower but more accurate? Are they work uniform shirts? Why can't they replace them today? It's not nice to hear but I can't wear shirts that button up because of my cleavage. By all means stick a t shirt on underneath. Have a cry tonight but go in tomorrow with a whole list of questions!

I agree with this , challenge people politely. I have just had interview feedback that hurt, I had done so much preparation. The interviewer gave feedback that didn't make sense at all from my recollection of the interview so I've politely pushed her to explain more fully.

BestKnitterInScotland · 17/02/2022 15:49

@MrsBlaue

Sounds like BS to me. I’d turn up in the most revealing but still work-passable top possible and walk in smiling brightly and speaking loudly. If they aren’t happy with your work, then they should re-think they hiring strategies. If they hired someone not competent enough, it’s on them.

Why do people make up stories like this? Of course you wouldn't do this. Nobody sane would.

Plus it's undermining how the OP feels - embarrassed and upset. All the nonsense about well i'd do X Y or Z and feel THIS way is sending the OP the message that she's not entitled to feel the way she does which so clearly nonsense.

OP you need to ask for training, or targets. "too slow" doesn't really mean anything - they need to quantify. Process 10 orders every hour, or whatever. Hold your head up high. You have done nothing wrong here and they have handled approaching you very badly.

Original poster

Sapphireskies · 17/02/2022 15:50

@Dembones292

Thank you. The manager said not to beat myself up. But as she said I'm super sensitive. I believe I'm one of those highly sensitive people.

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 17/02/2022 15:52

She's going to give you the necessary training to help you speed up so that's fine.

The mention of your shirt was probably done out of kindness to avoid you any embarrassment if it's pointed out by anyone else. Don't take it to heart.

Jvg33 · 17/02/2022 15:57

Your shirts are gaping? Meh. I would carry on. If they say it again, I would say who is it who is obsessed with my breasts. Sounds like sexual harassment. I would have asked what is slow about what I do and what are their recommendations to speed up?

JingsMahBucket · 17/02/2022 16:03

A lot of the responses on here are really immature and knee jerk. Take some time to think about it properly @Sapphireskies. @SeasonFinale seems to have given the best advice and response.

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