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Original poster

Change my life for me! What would you do?

65 replies

ChangeMeUp · 14/02/2022 21:32

I’ve got to that point where my dc have left home. I’m widowed. I’m solvent. I’m bored. I work part time and I volunteer, but I still feel I have a lot of time to fill.

I also appear to have no hobbies/interests, no imagination and don’t know what to do to improve things or how to make big changes. I always thought once the dc were adults I’d have no problem filling my time. The truth is that I feel lonely and useless and at a very different stage to all my friends. How do I make the most of my life?

OP posts:
BuddhaAtSea · 14/02/2022 21:36

I got a dog 🤷🏻‍♀️

MartinMartinMarti · 14/02/2022 21:37

I’d try harder to find god, but I realise that’s not for everyone Grin

I’d also look at being a magistrate or school governor.

StarsAreWishes · 14/02/2022 21:39

I love that the first 2 replies are dog and god Grin

BeetyAxe · 14/02/2022 21:39

What do you feel happiest doing? Do you want to travel, foster children, re-train, meet a new man?

Bran21 · 14/02/2022 21:39

Become a befriender for age uk or similar charity

Original poster
ChangeMeUp · 14/02/2022 21:40

I’m not clever enough to be a magistrate, and I should’ve said I already have a dog. Who I love passionately - but she’s a crap conversationalist!

OP posts:
Original poster
ChangeMeUp · 14/02/2022 21:41

@BeetyAxe

What do you feel happiest doing? Do you want to travel, foster children, re-train, meet a new man?
I feel happiest helping people I think - but I already work for a charity, and volunteer for a different one.
OP posts:
Bran21 · 14/02/2022 21:42

We have a lady that volunteers to go in primary school to help children read. Also maybe a W.I. club nearby my step mum does activites from netball, knitting, card making, afternoon tea or clothes bank for people who need clothes.

Original poster
ChangeMeUp · 14/02/2022 21:43

I’m not actively looking for a new man but I guess if one came knocking on my door, I’d consider him!

I’d like to travel but don’t presently feel brave enough to go on my own. Plus, I’m solvent but not well off.

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 14/02/2022 21:43

Become a YouTuber?

Lookingoutside · 14/02/2022 21:44

Hi OP. Have you ever fancied trying outdoor swimming? Rivers, lakes, the sea. There are groups all over the country now.

There’s nothing like it for changing your outlook and how you feel. Well for me anyway, it may not be your scene.

Are there things you have enjoyed doing in the past that you would like to re visit now you have time to yourself. If you’re a reader maybe just start with a good book for a bit of escapism.

Regardless of how you choose to live, you’re not useless. I can promise you that.

parchedjanuary · 14/02/2022 21:44

Join a local amateur dramatics group. Throw your heart and soul into it. And eventually appear on stage?!!

SorryPardonWhat · 14/02/2022 21:48

Set yourself a challenge. Eg
-see a play a week for one year and tell us/Twitter/Facebook about it.
-pick a European city you want to get to know, visit four times a year and learn the language.

Whydoesthecatalwaysdothat · 14/02/2022 21:48

Pets as Therapy volunteer with the dog?

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 14/02/2022 21:49

Train for a marathon?

MsFogi · 14/02/2022 21:50

Join the Ramblers Association?

Cinders15 · 14/02/2022 21:50

I was like this so even though I hate facecloth, my local borough group advertised a local ladies friendship group
I joined, and go to loads of events and have made some good friends
I do line dancing, Zumba, coffee mornings, local walking which ends up in the pub for lunch, coach trips - loads of things
I also meet with old school friends every 6 weeks or so for lunch, and in seconds 50 years have disappeared as we natter away ...

FusionChefGeoff · 14/02/2022 21:53

Yoga

Mummywantsaweewee · 14/02/2022 21:54

Take up a class. Art, Pottery, creative writing, mechanics, plumbing. Anything! Learn a new skill and meet people. Now is the time to do anything and everything you would like to try. Are you academic? What about masters or a phd?

BeetyAxe · 14/02/2022 21:58

Is your volunteering hitting the spot? If not would you consider changing your job to something that’s directly helping people, like a caring role, or retraining as a nurse or some other medical type role. Something like that might help you meet more new people and open up new opportunities for you.

Original poster
ChangeMeUp · 14/02/2022 21:59

Thank you so much for the responses. Some of them sound really interesting. I really appreciate people giving me ideas that I should be able to, but can’t, think of myself!

OP posts:
Original poster
ChangeMeUp · 14/02/2022 22:00

@Lookingoutside

Hi OP. Have you ever fancied trying outdoor swimming? Rivers, lakes, the sea. There are groups all over the country now.

There’s nothing like it for changing your outlook and how you feel. Well for me anyway, it may not be your scene.

Are there things you have enjoyed doing in the past that you would like to re visit now you have time to yourself. If you’re a reader maybe just start with a good book for a bit of escapism.

Regardless of how you choose to live, you’re not useless. I can promise you that.

And thank you for this (the “not useless” bit). I really have been feeling that my useful days are behind me.
OP posts:
Original poster
ChangeMeUp · 14/02/2022 22:03

@Mummywantsaweewee

Take up a class. Art, Pottery, creative writing, mechanics, plumbing. Anything! Learn a new skill and meet people. Now is the time to do anything and everything you would like to try. Are you academic? What about masters or a phd?
No, I’m not academic, in fact I feel very ignorant. When dh died I sort of withdrew from the world and stopped reading newspapers or watching the news. Now I feel woefully ignorant about the world but I’ve lost the ability to concentrate on anything.
OP posts:
Whydoesthecatalwaysdothat · 14/02/2022 22:09

I think you just need to have a go. Try something once and if you don't like it, you don't have to go again just try something different.

In terms of travelling, book a night away somewhere not too far away. If that goes okay, do a couple of nights. You get the gist.

ChocolateLover2000 · 14/02/2022 22:12

I read a while ago on MN that when looking for new hobbies or interests think back to what you enjoyed when you were 10. Chances are, you'll like some version of that now. When I was 10 I spent my time talking to friends, reading and riding my bike. I never stopped doing the first two but gave up on the bike at about 12. Then in lockdown at age 40 I bought a second hand bike on a whim. No surprises, I absolutely love it.