Worried about my next driving lesson help

Richtea2 · 2022-02-11T20:47:06+00:00

The day of the lesson I was very excited and I had requested a woman. I actually didn't feel nervous because I thought they just going through DSSSM. It was 2 hrs and I did wonder what I would be doing. I got a phone call and heard a man's voice was like oh no had asked for woman. But thought it will be okay. I got in the car and he didn't seem that bad this instructor but it did seem awkward. I tried to make conversation and he didn't like that I had looked at you tube. But I had to know what I would be expecting. We got to the place and it was an area I knew because I use to live there. It wasn't the area I wouldn't of liked to go too. But just went with it. He did have me go straight to drivers side. I knew I would go through DSSSM and then POM. Then he telling me to start the car and then I think nerves just hit me. Then I was off and I wasn't too great at all. I just couldn't do the steering wheel. The brake and gas. I was holding steering wheel tight and really didn't actually feel I would of had a problem and he was helping me steer but I must of gripped it so hard. They tell you put your hands on quarter to 3. I knew this instructor wasn't happy with me and I wasn't great. It's my first lesson totally clueless. The lesson ended and he asked how I feel the lesson. I knew I was bad with steering wheel, brake. As he was driving me home I was again trying to make conversation with him and asking what book I should get which I forgot now the one he said. It was awkward and when we pulled up. I said about another lesson and he said maybe we will hour session to ease you into driving lessons. I am happy with just 1 hour. Can anyone give me tips on steering wheel? I already payed for 10 session which are 2hrs a lesson. I am also going to see how this instructor is Monday if still the same may request for a woman instructor. Any advice?

Mindymomo · 11/02/2022 20:58

Firstly 2 hours is too long, it’s really stressful and tiring. Also it takes a while to get to know your instructor, but you must tell them if you need anything explaining or going over. If they cannot be patient with you, then ask for someone else.

Lastly it was your first lesson, most of us were ready to give up, I know I was. It does definitely get better, but you will have lessons where you think you cannot do this and everything seemed to go wrong and others where you think afterwards that you really cracked it. Please don’t be afraid to tell instructor your concerns, if they are any good, they will listen.

Original poster

Richtea2 · 11/02/2022 21:32

@Mindymomo

Firstly 2 hours is too long, it’s really stressful and tiring. Also it takes a while to get to know your instructor, but you must tell them if you need anything explaining or going over. If they cannot be patient with you, then ask for someone else.

Lastly it was your first lesson, most of us were ready to give up, I know I was. It does definitely get better, but you will have lessons where you think you cannot do this and everything seemed to go wrong and others where you think afterwards that you really cracked it. Please don’t be afraid to tell instructor your concerns, if they are any good, they will listen.

Thank you so much for advice

OP posts:

MargaretThursday · 11/02/2022 21:41

My dc have always had 2 hours when possible, and it's brought them on quicker, so it may depend on how you feel.

You need an instructor you're comfortable with. That's the biggest thing. They need to be able to tell you when you've done it wrong, and you need to be able to ask what you think are inane questions.

I'd ask again for a lady because I think you'll be more comfortable from what you've said.

Original poster

Richtea2 · 05/03/2022 20:14

Update

So my second lesson was a lot better and I felt more relaxed.

Then we moved to Junctions and I don't think he fully explained it first time round. Then last lesson I actually burst into tears because it was too much. Then my instructor was being nice and I just told him that I did want to continue lesson and he took me home. He wrote a few things for me to remember.

I don't want to change my instructor but watching after instructors it seems they explain things better. I understand major and minor now and so much more.

Some instructors will ask you what you remember from last lesson. He doesn't just today we doing this shows me and expects me to just do it.
I honestly get more from just watching you tube videos than him explaining it to me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Richtea2 · 05/03/2022 20:18

I meant to say that I do 1hr lessons now.

OP posts:

FAQs · 05/03/2022 20:26

I can’t see what you have to complain about, you are judging his teaching, he is the professional, it takes a long time to pass the instructor courses, plus I presume he has managed to get students through the process to pass.

If you don’t agree with his teaching style change instructors. You sound a difficult student.

Notanotherwindow · 05/03/2022 21:10

You need to relax a bit. Remember he can control the car too and his pedals override yours. Nothing can happen.

Hold the steering wheel loosely and resist the urge to lean with it. You aren't pulling at it, you're running it through your hands. This is how my driving instructor explained it to me when I started.

Practice with a dinner plate in your lap or a kids toy steering wheel. Hold at 10 to 2 or quarter to 3.

Loosen your grip and without moving the wheel/plate slide your hand up to the top to meet in the middle.

Tighten your right hand at the top to grip it and now pull it down to the right. Don't tighten your left hand just let the wheel run through it until you've turned as far as you want to.

Now tighten the left hand and pull the wheel back the other way, this time letting it run through your right hand until it is back to the centre position and your hands are back where they started.

Congrats you just turned right. Steering is the hardest part to grasp imo because you have to develop a sense of spacial awareness of the car and how it moves. For example, I can tell at a glance whether I can reverse into a space in one movement or whether I need to line up and adjust. Its a sense of how much space my car takes up and how wide the turning circle is. Once you gain that, you'll feel much more in control.

I think with the YouTube, you're making yourself a bit hard to teach because their style is not his style. A bit like why you shouldn't see two counsellors, because people work differently.

Original poster

Richtea2 · 05/03/2022 21:14

@FAQs

I can’t see what you have to complain about, you are judging his teaching, he is the professional, it takes a long time to pass the instructor courses, plus I presume he has managed to get students through the process to pass.

If you don’t agree with his teaching style change instructors. You sound a difficult student.

I think the way he sighs and didn't fully explain the lessons didn't. It's only because I burst into tears that he was being nice. Then wrote stuff down to remember. I just don't think gel together. I am sure he a very nice person when not teaching you to drive. But he just got no patience. He seen me drive 4 or 5 lessons he should be like let me take her somewhere quieter. Not just throw me in deep end expect me to swim just like that. I learnt more from guys on you tube. If he taught me like them then could understand his frustration of me not getting it. I will try again but will tell him I think it's best I get a new instructor. I wanted a woman and they send a man so thought maybe he will be okay. But he a nightmare.

OP posts:

Kite22 · 05/03/2022 21:30

I agree with FAQ.

I can't see what he has done wrong here.
But if you don't feel comfortable, then find a different instructor.

Five lessons in and you "moved to junctions" but he "didn't explain it properly" . What is to explain ?

If you think you can learn by watching You Tube, then do that for a while longer until you have a basic grasp of how a road works. But from what you say, it sounds like this instructor has been accommodating and making adjustments for your difficulties..... changing from their standard 2 hour lesson to 1.... writing things down for you and so forth.

tobypercy · 05/03/2022 21:42

@FAQs

I can’t see what you have to complain about, you are judging his teaching, he is the professional, it takes a long time to pass the instructor courses, plus I presume he has managed to get students through the process to pass.

If you don’t agree with his teaching style change instructors. You sound a difficult student.

There is no set course for instructors. How to become an instructor - gov.uk There are plenty of bad instructors about, the quality assurance is pretty poor - so it's perfectly reasonable to ask somewhere like this.

OP is obviously very focussed and nervous. It's the instructor's job to deal with that.

Original poster

Richtea2 · 05/03/2022 21:48

@Kite22

I agree with FAQ.

I can't see what he has done wrong here.
But if you don't feel comfortable, then find a different instructor.

Five lessons in and you "moved to junctions" but he "didn't explain it properly" . What is to explain ?

If you think you can learn by watching You Tube, then do that for a while longer until you have a basic grasp of how a road works. But from what you say, it sounds like this instructor has been accommodating and making adjustments for your difficulties..... changing from their standard 2 hour lesson to 1.... writing things down for you and so forth.

I don't know why you respond when you got no idea what I am going through.

I suggest you don't comment on what you don't know. I ask for advice not for stupid idiots think they know my instructor.

OP posts:

FAQs · 05/03/2022 23:37

@tobypercy it’s a very long process, and the instructors have to pass enhanced training and plus a written and practical course, it’s expensive takes around a year, and the link you post only touched on the process, contact a driving training school and you’ll note that their is an actual course which is. Assessed and has a pass or fail structure.

@Richtea2 your attitude I suggest is a huge part of the problem.

FAQs · 05/03/2022 23:39

You can’t learn to drive on YouTube 🤣

VeniVidiWeeWee · 05/03/2022 23:53

@FAQs

Actually you could learn to drive on You Tube.

You probably wouldn't pass your test though.

Kite22 · 06/03/2022 00:23

I don't know why you respond when you got no idea what I am going through.

Because you have asked for advice on a discussion forum.
Because people can only answer going on the information you have given.
If you are 'going through' something else that is pertinent to what you are asking about, you can't assume people have some extra sensory perception, you have to put that information in the thread if you want people to take it into account.

I suggest you don't comment on what you don't know. I ask for advice not for stupid idiots think they know my instructor.

As above, we can only go on what you have told us.
Also, I did give advice. My advice was, But if you don't feel comfortable, then find a different instructor. , which remains pretty sensible advice, IMO.

Fernandina · 06/03/2022 01:05

You cannot learn or practice a physical co-ordination and spatial awareness skill by watching someone else do it on youtube.

You're expecting this instructor to teach you in the exact same was as another instructor teaches another learner driver. That isn't going to happen. The other learner will have different strengths and weaknesses from you, and everyone who teaches anything will do it differently from everyone else.

Try to stop putting all these expectations in place - you are just making it far harder for yourself.

SerPants · 06/03/2022 07:39

There might not be anything objectively "wrong" with how he's teaching, but if it's a way that doesn't work for you don't be afraid to try a different instructor, it's your money after all.

I started lessons with an instructor who's way of teaching was totally wrong for me- he either didn't explain things at all or did it in a way that didn't make any sense to me. I switched and my next instructor was brilliant. Calm, relaxed, clear communication, no shouting or blame if I did get anything wrong (which was rare as he explained things fully in the first place). And I always knew exactly what he wanted me to do and why.

Youtube can be really helpful as a revision tool, if you use it alongside lessons.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 06/03/2022 07:51

Don't be frightened of changing instructors, I went through 5 before passing!

Four of them were bloody awful, one was racist, told me to be careful near a zebra crossing but I'd get extra points for knocking over any 'darkies.'

One was really letchy and didn't want to be within 300 meters of him let alone in an enclosed space.

One was really unreliable and would cancel at a moments notice then just disappeared over night.

One was just useless, not sure how he could be called an instructor.

This was in London ,it was hot topic between friends who were trying to find a good instructor, I wasn't the only person I knew who had issues. Maybe they wouldn't have been able to get away with such awful behaviour in a small town , who knows?!

Then I gave up for a bit and started again when I moved out of London and my final instructor was absolutely brilliant and I passed quickly. The difference between the ones I'd had previously was like night and day, he was patient and professional.

Don't be afraid of changing instructors OP, you asked for a female originally,don't get fobbed off with someone you're not happy with. My instructor never did 2 hr lessons to start with as you can't drive that long as a beginner so just end up doing theory in the car and that's a waste of money as you can do that at home. Iirc I only had 1.5 hr lessons just before my test.

Good luck.

tobypercy · 06/03/2022 23:07

[quote FAQs]@tobypercy it’s a very long process, and the instructors have to pass enhanced training and plus a written and practical course, it’s expensive takes around a year, and the link you post only touched on the process, contact a driving training school and you’ll note that their is an actual course which is. Assessed and has a pass or fail structure.

@Richtea2 your attitude I suggest is a huge part of the problem.[/quote]
ADIs don't have to learn through a driving training school. the link I posted is the official version. Some sign up with an existing ADI, and are basically unsupervised throughout - it's not how it's meant to work but it certainly happens that way sometimes.

Irrespective of what training they've been through there are plenty of rubbish instructors around. Many are good, some are great, some are rubbish.... just like in any other line of work. And since they are human, many get on better with certain types of student. There is nothing wrong with OP thinking a different instructor would suit her better.

Iamnotamermaid · 06/03/2022 23:15

You tube has videos on learning to drive which may help you become more familiar with the different scenarios and how to handle them (e.g. junctions, roundabouts).

Instructors can be good or bad or just not suited to you. If you want to change do it but I would not get too hung up on having a female instructor. I had one (years ago) who I hated, she just yelled at me if I did not get it right first time.

Cocomarine · 06/03/2022 23:17

It’s nonsense to say that YouTube teaches you better, because if YouTube was teaching you so well, you’d be off and away in your actual driving lesson with no problems 🤷🏻‍♀️

I suspect it feels like YouTube is better because all you have to do then is listen, and you’re not stressed.

So firstly: don’t compare it to YouTube.

It’s absolutely fine to decide an instructor doesn’t suit you, and try and different one. But just be self aware - if none of them suit you, it’s likely your stress that’s defensively blaming them.

He sounds like he’s adapted around your fears - shorter lessons, writing things down. So he doesn’t sound awful.

Try someone else and see how you feel.

FAQs · 06/03/2022 23:25

@tobypercy did you miss the part where I wrote suggesting if the instructor isn’t suitable (I suspect none will be) change instructors.

ADI still have to have some supervision and pass the advanced tests no?

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 06/03/2022 23:27

@mrspelligrinopetrichor I could have written your post

I went through 5 instructors over 8 years. The final push was being heavily pregnant and not wanting to be stuck at home with baby. One instructor told me to run over teens jokily as there's too many of them . Another one was really nasty, kept calling me a liar. Another moved abroad (not to get away from me I'll add!).

My final one was female and she was brilliant. I did 2 HR lessons and passed within 8 hours. She was lovely. I felt comfortable with her. Don't be afraid to get a new instructor if you're not comfortable. It's your money and you need to feel happy with whoever is supervising you or it'll be stressful.

Took me so long to learn to drive as I was so nervous about driving. I have an advanced driving qualification now through work so I've become a lot better.

Charley50 · 06/03/2022 23:32

You asked for a woman; they should have sent a woman. I would contact the driving school, remind them of this, and ask for a female instructor. Ask for one who is good with nervous drivers. (Or if you're in north or east London I know a fantastic make instructor who is very good with nervous drivers.

Original poster

Richtea2 · 07/03/2022 11:58

@Notanotherwindow