Worried about my next driving lesson help

[Richtea2]

The day of the lesson I was very excited and I had requested a woman.
I actually didn't feel nervous because I thought they just going through DSSSM.
It was 2 hrs and I did wonder what I would be doing.

I got a phone call and heard a man's voice was like oh no had asked for woman. But thought it will be okay.
I got in the car and he didn't seem that bad this instructor but it did seem awkward. I tried to make conversation and he didn't like that I had looked at you tube. But I had to know what I would be expecting.
We got to the place and it was an area I knew because I use to live there. It wasn't the area I wouldn't of liked to go too. But just went with it.
He did have me go straight to drivers side. I knew I would go through DSSSM and then POM. Then he telling me to start the car and then I think nerves just hit me. Then I was off and I wasn't too great at all. I just couldn't do the steering wheel. The brake and gas. I was holding steering wheel tight and really didn't actually feel I would of had a problem and he was helping me steer but I must of gripped it so hard. They tell you put your hands on quarter to 3. I knew this instructor wasn't happy with me and I wasn't great. It's my first lesson totally clueless. The lesson ended and he asked how I feel the lesson. I knew I was bad with steering wheel, brake.
As he was driving me home I was again trying to make conversation with him and asking what book I should get which I forgot now the one he said.
It was awkward and when we pulled up. I said about another lesson and he said maybe we will hour session to ease you into driving lessons. I am happy with just 1 hour.
Can anyone give me tips on steering wheel?
I already payed for 10 session which are 2hrs a lesson. I am also going to see how this instructor is Monday if still the same may request for a woman instructor.

Any advice?

I know from paper and watch you tube. Mirrors, Signal, Position,Speed,Look. Now if I got problem steering I won't be thinking of look just steering. This what I will explain to him. He just can't expect me to get it.
I do think once my steering okay everything else might fall into place. This push n peel need to get hang. Now when I did first two lessons I did over hand he didn't say nothing which but learnt on you tube about the airbag and dangerous covering it in accident.
It's just about explaining to him and him explaining to me

I don't understand any of what you've posted there OP,sorry.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Don't be frightened of changing instructors, I went through 5 before passing!

Four of them were bloody awful, one was racist, told me to be careful near a zebra crossing but I'd get extra points for knocking over any 'darkies.'

One was really letchy and didn't want to be within 300 meters of him let alone in an enclosed space.

One was really unreliable and would cancel at a moments notice then just disappeared over night.

One was just useless, not sure how he could be called an instructor.

This was in London ,it was hot topic between friends who were trying to find a good instructor, I wasn't the only person I knew who had issues. Maybe they wouldn't have been able to get away with such awful behaviour in a small town , who knows?!

Then I gave up for a bit and started again when I moved out of London and my final instructor was absolutely brilliant and I passed quickly. The difference between the ones I'd had previously was like night and day, he was patient and professional.

Don't be afraid of changing instructors OP, you asked for a female originally,don't get fobbed off with someone you're not happy with. My instructor never did 2 hr lessons to start with as you can't drive that long as a beginner so just end up doing theory in the car and that's a waste of money as you can do that at home. Iirc I only had 1.5 hr lessons just before my test.

Good luck.

I don't think my instructor very patient. Even when I am driving you see he not happy. Just like he expects me to just pick it up. I do need to listen and for me it's that I am not listening. I don't get what he means.

I was so nervous for years and got to this point in my life and said I think I can do this now.

I feel so scared of my next lesson now.

I am thinking weather to call the company to change or try with him one more time.

Some of you were once learners.

You tube is helpful to revise before lessons I mean. Especially when you don't fully understand your instructor.

I think I might phone the company and ask for a woman. Someone who patient with nervous drivers.
I don't think I can sit in the car with him Friday. I feel sick and worse than before my first lesson probably back at the start.
I think I will phone tommorow cancel lesson and get different instructor.. Thanks

I would be really frustrated too if I was trying to teach you a practical skill like driving, swimming, baking and you thought that watching YouTube videos was just as good, or better, than a professional sitting with you as you practice that skill.

Perhaps you don’t gel with him, and that’s OK. Perhaps you need a much slower pace.

Now if I got problem steering I won't be thinking of look just steering. This what I will explain to him. He just can't expect me to get it.

The problem is, you can’t learn to drive piece by piece- you HAVE to look and steer. The instructor is there to look as well as you but he can’t not instruct you to look at a junction.

Try not to take it personally if you’re being asked to do several things at once and you find it overwhelming- you are safe in a dual control car, and practice will make things come together eventually.

I think you’ve got unrealistic expectations as well as significant nerves and that’s not helping.

Good luck with a new instructor. Explain you are very nervous and need to go back to the beginning.

If your driving instructor does make you feel at ease then ask for a different one. I had an instructor that was bloody awful shouting at me & I endured several lessons ending with me being nervous wreck every time before I took a break of 6 months. My instructor afterwards was patient & world's apart & its him who I eventually passed with.

Yeah that's the thing, you can't just not look. It's impossible to learn different bits of driving at a time. You have to prioritise looking because that's the most important thing and learn to switch your attention rapidly between looking and steering.

Do something for me as an exercise. Stare at the ceiling with your head straight ahead. Only moving your eyes, look up and down from ceiling to floor and back again as quickly as you can.

That's like driving. It's what you have to practice. Switching so quickly between them that it's like you never looked away. Snapshots. Eventually steering will become muscle memory and you won't have to think about it, like riding a bike.

@Notanotherwindow

Yeah that's the thing, you can't just not look. It's impossible to learn different bits of driving at a time. You have to prioritise looking because that's the most important thing and learn to switch your attention rapidly between looking and steering.

Do something for me as an exercise. Stare at the ceiling with your head straight ahead. Only moving your eyes, look up and down from ceiling to floor and back again as quickly as you can.

That's like driving. It's what you have to practice. Switching so quickly between them that it's like you never looked away. Snapshots. Eventually steering will become muscle memory and you won't have to think about it, like riding a bike.

Thank you for advice.

That's true , you just have to 'be instructed ' and eventually it all comes without thinking about it but it takes a long time and a lot of practice.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

That's true , you just have to 'be instructed ' and eventually it all comes without thinking about it but it takes a long time and a lot of practice.

I am just in two minds if I stick or ditch this instructor. I don't really want to start with someone new. But just really think he is making me more nervous now. That day I ended up in tears. I had said to him I had a bit of a morning. He was like so did I. It was my fault should not have booked that lesson on same day I had to do something important. Which I was nervous about too. Then when it came to the driving lesson just couldn't focus on it and because of something else couldn't finish lesson. Listening to you tube is good but suppose putting all in practice on my lessons. I will see how I feel Wednesday but worried about next lesson now.

Just change to a woman and immediately say you are very nervous, have no idea where anything is and what anything does and you need to start from absolute scratch. Good luck.

My teen DD had some rather strange instructors, total waste of time and money. Finally found a woman, who was firm, patient and VERY precise. DD trusted her totally and passed next time.

Change now OP. Good luck.

Driving isn't as easy as looks. It's about learning that your feet and hands have to work together and then you have to look at mirrors. Don't worry. We have all bunny hopped down the road, sat a junction for what felt like forever, read in the face, as kept stalling and feeling extreme stress. Been beeped at, to hurry up. It takes time. Before you know it, they will all align and you will be driving. It's a very scary experience when you start, don't give up.

I warned my daughter when she started, that she shouldn't worry, it happens to us all, her first lesson, she was like oh my god, that was exhausting, she actually needed a lie down. 5 lessons later and she is ecstatic that she didn't stall it for the first time. Her spacial awareness still needs work, as she cuts the corner and forgets the rest of the car is behind her.

You do need an instructor who can put you at ease though and stop when something hasn't worked, to ask what do you think caused that. Etc.

Keep going, it's like riding a bike, when you start you fail, but perseverance gets you riding without falling.

Good luck to you, the driver of the future

You sound like an anxious person, so I’m not sure whether changing instructors will alleviate that anxiety. But if you think it would help, ask for someone else.

Driving is about coordinating lots of things at once and takes time and practice. Have you considered using an automatic car, because that removes some of the procedures?

My cousin suffers from anxiety and had five different instructors before she finally found one who was on her wave length. She's 22 and has just driven though France. It's your money and you are paying for a service so change instructors if you're not happy with the current one.

I would call another driving school and book a trial lesson. When you find an instructor you like then you pay for your 10 lessons up front.

I'm sorry op but watching something on you tube and putting it into practice are two different things .

All of you are giving me great advice.

A lot of people have watched you tube and said it helped them in their lessons. I am doing an automatic.
I am really glad I am not doing manual.

I think I will definitely phone for different instructor just say I did ask for a woman. I feel I might need to start again at the beginning.

Feel sad that I have to change but for the best.

Thanks all for advice

I have a new instructor whom I will start with next week.

Did you have a lesson today?

Update

I decided after my last lesson I need to change instructors. To a woman which I would prefer.
I have my first lesson today and I just don't want to make the same mistakes like I did with him.
I will explain what I find difficult.
I feel my confidence has really been knocked since last lesson. Not sure if it's the driving or personal stuff in my life.
But I know I couldn't concentrate. Just glad of a fresh start. I will go over from beginning what I remember to where I got too.

Hope your lesson goes well . Try to focus on what she is teaching you and don't compare to the you tube videos you have watched , you are and individual and may not be at the standard of the videos at the moment.

It's very hard to concentrate after an hour when learning, I would recommend single lessons to start with the increasing nearer your test.

I would give up the driving lessons and enrol yourself in classes to get rid of your bad attitude.

Calling people stupid idiots when they have stated the facts is deeply unpleasant.

She was very good and helped with steering

I had an instructor that I just didn’t gel with. He sighed at me and made me feel like I was bad at driving. I got anxiety every evening before a lesson even though I rarely get anxious. I thought it was just me.
My husband learned to drive the following year and did a few lessons with the same instructor. He told him to his face what he didn’t like about lessons and that he was thinking of changing instructors if they couldn’t gel. My husband moved to a new instructor and said that it was a much better experience.