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Original poster

Getting tired and embarrassed of asking people to repeat themselves

65 replies

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/02/2022 12:45

I have some mild hearing loss and clearly rely on lip reading and facial cues far more than I realised until the introduction of face masks.

It's frustrating asking strangers to repeat themselves, they must think it's so annoying (it is!)

For that reason I can't wait for masks to go, I've just had a really difficult experience at the dog groomer trying to drop my dog off, it was loud inside (dogs barking and dryer on) and the shop door was open so the road noise was loud outside and then the lovely groomer tries to talk to me with a mask on. I came out close to tears of frustration and embarrassment. Argh.

I don't need any replies, just felt like getting it off my chest as DH is in a meeting.

OP posts:

R0tational · 11/02/2022 12:48

That sounds really hard. Please just tell people you have slight hearing loss and need them to speak loudly / go to a quiet place or whatever you need. If people know I am sure they will be accommodating. Sorry it's hard

HairyScaryMonster · 11/02/2022 12:52

Do you have hearing aids yet?

Rummikub · 11/02/2022 12:55

I hadn’t realised how much I rely on lip reading to understand wfat is being said prior to mask wearing.
It is hard.

Tynesider007 · 11/02/2022 12:58

Get hearing aids, NHS assuming you are in the UK, changed my life.

user1497207191 · 11/02/2022 12:58

Same here. It's really highlighted my hearing loss too. I must have had it for years without really noticing as such, as likewise I didn't realise how much I was relying on lip reading to "fill the gaps" of speech I wasn't actually hearing. I got NHS hearing aids a few months ago, but to be honest, they're not much help. Despite them doing hearing tests and setting the aids to match my hearing loss, I don't think they help much, especially not in noisy environments as they just amplify the noisy background. Seriously thinking about going private in the hope that they'll be able to be "fine tuned" better rather than just making everything louder.

Original poster

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/02/2022 13:01

Thank you for the kind words. I don't usually struggle if I can see people's faces, it's only been very recently that I told my GP it had got worse (telephone appointments helpfully 🙄) I don't want hearing aids if I can help it

OP posts:

mumonthehill · 11/02/2022 13:04

My DH felt very much the same as you. He went and had a test at Boots so we could understand what level of loss he had. As it was significant he then went to GP and he now has hearing aids. They are very discreet and people do not notice them. He does not wear them all the time but has learned in what situations he may need them and then he does put them on. It is worth having a test.

Rummikub · 11/02/2022 13:05

A colleague recently got hearing aids privately and when she explained she can use them to answer her phone and listen to music through her mobile I was v tempted!

Beamur · 11/02/2022 13:08

Not all kinds of hearing loss can be addressed by aids though. Like the type I have.
It's much harder with masks as it reduces the visual clues to communication. I've had lifelong hearing loss so am pretty used to asking people to speak up!

Beamur · 11/02/2022 13:13

However, if you do need aids, don't let embarrassment put you off. I've noticed that my MIL in particular has become increasingly isolated over the years as she doesn't use her aids enough and has just given up as she finds communication difficult. She relied on FIL and has found it hard since he died. Often people with gradual hearing loss don't realise how much they have withdrawn from other people.
The other, actually quite worrying statistic is how untreated hearing loss increases your risks of certain kinds of dementia. Hearing and the brain is a much more complicated system than say sight which is easier to correct.

mixum · 11/02/2022 13:16

@Rummikub

A colleague recently got hearing aids privately and when she explained she can use them to answer her phone and listen to music through her mobile I was v tempted!

I am the lucky user of the same aids. They are bluetooth and are absolutely brilliant, they have transformed my life, and I often wonder how I ever managed without them!

I also compensated with facial cues and lip reading, but my hearing deteriorated over the past year (was caused by childhood meningitis), and this solution is just so great, I wish everyone would get a hearing test, you just don't realise how hard you work in order to hear and communicate, and those around you benefit greatly too from not having to repeat themselves ad infinitum!

I realise that the bluetooth versions are probably not on NHS, I don't know as I am not in UK, I paid a few thousand euro for mine, but worth every SINGLE cent of it.

JustALittleHelpPlease · 11/02/2022 13:21

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

Whilst it is perfectly understandable that you feel this way I would really urge you to reconsider. One of the issues with putting off getting hearing aids is that you can lose some elements forever. Ears are not like eyes, with sight loss it can get worse and worse but getting glasses will get you to, or nearly to, excellent vision again. With hearing some elements are lost forever if you don't safe gaurd them. It is kind of like a muscle that needs to be flexed or it atrophys.

Getting aids later basically cuts down how much good they can do for you and you will be shocked just how much you're not hearing that you don't even realise you're missing because the decline is gradual, you don't notice it happen.

Please consider getting referred to your local audiology department (not a high street NHS provider). Even if you only wear your aids at home and in the garden at first wearing them several hours a day can help safe guard so much of your hearing ability, it really is worth it if you can bring yourself to.

JustALittleHelpPlease · 11/02/2022 13:22

Just a note; Bluetooth aids ARE available on the NHS. Our full range had Bluetooth capability. They are brilliant

Chloemol · 11/02/2022 13:27

Just tell people you have hearing loss.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 11/02/2022 13:54

I would also recommend hearing aids however have you tried going for a good wax removal? My mum, who wears hearing aids, did say that the wax removal made a bit of a difference without the aids.

oakleaffy · 11/02/2022 14:17

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat
Mum is partially deaf, and said people don’t need to speak LOUDER , just more clearly, and to enunciate well.
Lots of people mumble.
Even hearing aids don’t always help, especially in a noisy environment.
My aunties were stone deaf from birth and took a pen and paper everywhere.
It’s so frustrating for people with hearing loss

Pumpkinstace · 11/02/2022 14:36

I wear hearing aids. I'm only 38.

They changed my life. I didn't get the smallest available because I wanted the volume control.

People don't notice them unless I physically point them out.

MrsPsmalls · 11/02/2022 14:54

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

It's not fair to refuse to wear hearing aids if you need them. You are asking others to take account of your disability and change their behaviour (IE speak louder clearer than is normal for them) but you are refusing to make adaptations yourself. Get yourself assessed for hearing aids! I wear them. It's not what I'd choose, but it's my problem and my responsibility not the responsibility of some random dog groomer :-)

Rummikub · 11/02/2022 14:56

I don’t know about that ^^

I work with a wide range of groups and we are meant to adapt how we communicate taking into account others needs.

RoastedFerret · 11/02/2022 15:01

Do consider hearing aids. Dh has worn them for about 10 years now since his mid 30s and his only regret is not getting them sooner. He used to have the tv/music blaring, constantly having to ask people to repeat themselves, couldn't hear the kids if they spoke to him from the back of the car etc. They are so discreet these days that most people won't even know that you wearing them. They have made such a huge difference his life.

Original poster

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/02/2022 15:55

It's not really that I need things said louder, just clearer! I don't have the TV up loud and I work with small children who I understand perfectly well! The masks just feels like they are mumbling. I don't think it's bad enough for hearing aids yet. Genuinely, I'm not just saying that. My Dr is crap though and I am chasing another hearing test.

OP posts:

averythinline · 11/02/2022 16:35

Go to boots or specsavers think they do hearing tests as well...I don't know how many people have said don't think its that bad ..but a couple actually had quite a loss others no much.. but not the ones that thought it! Knowledge is power etc..

UserError012345 · 11/02/2022 18:12

You are not alone. I have daily encounters like the one you described. I also have tinnitus which is incredibly frustrating.

I was given an nhs hearing aid but it made no difference and replaced one problem with another. Perhaps private would help but I'm not in a position financially to do.

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 11/02/2022 18:16

I wear two hearing aids, have bilateral tinnitus and I still lip read so masks are a nightmare.
I am more isolated now than I was pre-Covid, I avoid meeting people if they’re likely to be wearing them.

Blossom64265 · 11/02/2022 18:22

There is no need to be embarrassed. Asking people to repeat themselves has become pretty standard. At least from my perspective it has. I do it almost every time i’m out. I’ve also noticed people sometimes ask it of me. I just tap my ear and ask them to repeat.

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