Getting tired and embarrassed of asking people to repeat themselves

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

I have some mild hearing loss and clearly rely on lip reading and facial cues far more than I realised until the introduction of face masks.

It's frustrating asking strangers to repeat themselves, they must think it's so annoying (it is!)

For that reason I can't wait for masks to go, I've just had a really difficult experience at the dog groomer trying to drop my dog off, it was loud inside (dogs barking and dryer on) and the shop door was open so the road noise was loud outside and then the lovely groomer tries to talk to me with a mask on. I came out close to tears of frustration and embarrassment. Argh.

I don't need any replies, just felt like getting it off my chest as DH is in a meeting.

[quote BusySittingDown]@astrowars, thank you, I could cry. I'm going to enquire about this to my audiologist and see if my type of hearing loss would be able to have this. It sounds amazing![/quote]
It might be worth enquiring about a bone anchored hearing aid too. Obviously not suitable for everyone but I've been moderately deaf in one ear since childhood and asked to be referred back to audiology a couple of years ago to see if there was anything new that might help. In ear aids weren't suitable but I now have a bolt in my skull that a hearing aid fits on to(not technical term 😂) and can use a mini mic to stream directly to my aid. It's incredible! although I don't wear it much at home- I've no desire to hear the kids any louder than they already are

It must be frustrating but you have options

Get hearing aids
Tell people you've got hearing loss
Use a pen and paper

Try to think of hearing aids as a tool rather than an embarrassment. I wear glasses and use contact lenses occasionally for sport etc. When I was a kid that was embarrassing but now I'm lucky and society has moved on. It's just a bit of tech to make things work better for you.

Tell people you have a slight hearing loss. This is not embarrassing, it's just fact. If you feel more confident about it, people will respond to that.

But yes masks make things difficult and there's not a lot of awareness about deafness. Maybe try and reframe it as you would help someone with a buggy downstairs, you would simplify your language for someone who isn't fluent in English, this is the same thing.

There is no shame in hearing aids ... they are just like glasses for your ears 🙂

I've been wearing my NHS ones for about 4 years now - honestly they have changed my life.

I'm 45 if that makes a difference - if you think you're "too young" to need them 🙂

Oooh just to add ... my new NHS ones are Bluetooth ... (just need to work out how to work it 😂😂)

Hello. I can relate - some hearing loss. There is a post office near me where there is always loud music in the shop part and I can't hear a word the assistant says through the glass who doesn't have music her side.

Not the only post office near me - stopped using it.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. For those wondering, I've just turned 40. I've had a history of some serious ear infections which has left some damage, it's unclear if it will return but less likely as time goes on.

Have a look at the other link on Mums net on being deaf/hard of hearing www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/4340542-Thread-for-those-of-us-that-are-deaf-hard-of-hearing
Lots of useful tips and solidarity. Ive been deaf since was 3 - now 66 - took me till late 20s to introduce myself and say "I'm deaf - what helps is...look at me/light on face etc etc. The students I worked with used to complain "she way rude" of me to my colleagues so I always explained at all inductions too that I wasnt deliberately ignoring them!

Please can people stop saying 'get hearing aids' because the responsibility for accessible communication is not just the deaf person's and hearing aids alone aren't enough.

Take your masks off (the law allows it for deaf communication), speak up, speak clearer, write things down, face the person, provide captions etc.

Some of the comments on here about NHS hearing aids, they don't give you an ear trumpet like the old lady used in "Allo Allo"!

I was tested and there was a big dip in the middle range on both ears, then my aids were supplied and I spent a good hour with the audiologist tuning them. Took about 3 weeks from referral to having them. This was on the NHS.

Yes the background noise goes up but you are hearing things that have gradually been cancelled out from your life for years, clocks ticking, the sound your feet make when you are walking, bird song.

My sister had exactly the same experience as me at a well known high street supplier bar being a bit quicker to sort out, she was 1300 quid lighter at the end of it and she still has to buy her own batteries. They are the same model I got from the NHS.

Watching TV and being able to understand the plot without constantly asking my partner what is going on or using the subtitles is a joy and i can hear the lyrics in songs.

It's the middle range that we hear when people are speaking, which is why I needed mine as I needed to understand what was going on around me. I was in a meeting and they were talking about a patient havinge some cordial, I couldn't see what the problem was, turned out he had some codeine, your brain puts words in by itself, at least mine does.

They might not work for everyone but I think the longer you go without them when needed, the harder it is to get used to them.

For some reason it is still acceptable to take the piss out of people with hearing loss, I know a number of people who when they see them, go " eh, what, pardon?"

I posted earlier in the thread. For information I have Phonak aids, same as these -

www.phonak.com/com/en/hearing-aids/phonak-audeo-paradise.html

I am not in UK so paid privately. They are amazing and work so well for me. There is an app for the phone that adjusts sound and volume to your surroundings. Bluetooth connects the phone, radio, audible, anything you can hear on your phone direct to the in ear receiver. Best. Thing. Ever!

When out in the garden in Summer I just take them out and can't hear the screaming kids next door on their trampoline, miracle! Everyone is happy.

Do not leave it too late, you will be amazed at the difference aids can make to your life and that of those around you too.

I was told (by NHS audiologist) that the bluetooth magic that lets you answer calls and stream music to your hearing aids is only possible on iphones. As I have an android phone, I can use the bluetooth facility for changing volume and programme, etc, but not for streaming To stream, I would need to get a 'ConnectClip' which isn't available on the NHS in my area and I can't afford one just yet.

My DP (42) is rather hard of hearing, but won’t do a thing about it. Doesn’t want hearing aids, won’t go to Drs, keeps repeating that he’s going to get his earwax sorted and that’s the cause of this deafness he wears a radio with earpiece at work (prison officer) and says that hearing aids wouldn’t be compatible - basically every excuse in the book as to why not to do anything about it. But my god I could scream! I can’t whisper a single thing to him, he hears none of it, the younger DC, with their high-pitched voices, he has to ask them to repeat themselves several times, he can’t pick up what the older DC are muttering to each other, at all! Mask-wearing is a nightmare, he must lip-read all the time, I end up having to repeat and relay things that people say to him, very loudly, so he gets it. I speak to him in a normal voice, have to repeat myself, at louder volume, constantly. Pillow talk is pointless, he doesn’t hear a word of what I say, then I get frustrated and give up. It’s just a nightmare to live with, frustrating doesn’t even cover it.

OP it definitely sounds like you would benefit from at least trying hearing aids. What's available on the NHS will vary significantly depending on your location in the UK. Some hospitals offer pretty up to date technology and some will be several years behind what's actually available in the private sector.

Referral times will vary significantly also. Where I am (devolved nations) it's currently a couple of years from GP referral to Audiology appointment.

Plenty of high street providers offer free hearing tests and appointments, with no obligation to buy. You would also get to try some in the appointment to get a feeling for the difference they can make.

'This is the same as me
First set the woman turned off the volume control (God knows why) so when I went back I was expecting to walk out and everything be ok.
Nope it just amplifies the background noise, which I don't need
The husband keeps saying I should wear them but he doesn't get that it doesn't help when your in a shop and all you can hear at the checkout is the bags rattling rather than the person speaking.
And I can't wear my hair down as it brushes against the microphone and just makes a static sound.

If you find a solution please let me know'

It takes time for the brain to learn to filter out the background sounds again.

When I first got mine I had to wear them all day for around 2 weeks.

At first all I could hear was my hair rustling, clothes rubbing, shoes squeaking, fridge humming etc.

Wear them all the time, even when alone doing something silent. The brain can't learn to filter out the signs unless you let it get used to them again