Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Getting tired and embarrassed of asking people to repeat themselves

65 replies

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/02/2022 12:45

I have some mild hearing loss and clearly rely on lip reading and facial cues far more than I realised until the introduction of face masks.

It's frustrating asking strangers to repeat themselves, they must think it's so annoying (it is!)

For that reason I can't wait for masks to go, I've just had a really difficult experience at the dog groomer trying to drop my dog off, it was loud inside (dogs barking and dryer on) and the shop door was open so the road noise was loud outside and then the lovely groomer tries to talk to me with a mask on. I came out close to tears of frustration and embarrassment. Argh.

I don't need any replies, just felt like getting it off my chest as DH is in a meeting.

OP posts:
Thegrassisntalwaysgreener · 11/02/2022 18:23

@user1497207191

Same here. It's really highlighted my hearing loss too. I must have had it for years without really noticing as such, as likewise I didn't realise how much I was relying on lip reading to "fill the gaps" of speech I wasn't actually hearing. I got NHS hearing aids a few months ago, but to be honest, they're not much help. Despite them doing hearing tests and setting the aids to match my hearing loss, I don't think they help much, especially not in noisy environments as they just amplify the noisy background. Seriously thinking about going private in the hope that they'll be able to be "fine tuned" better rather than just making everything louder.
This is the same as me First set the woman turned off the volume control (God knows why) so when I went back I was expecting to walk out and everything be ok. Nope it just amplifies the background noise, which I don't need The husband keeps saying I should wear them but he doesn't get that it doesn't help when your in a shop and all you can hear at the checkout is the bags rattling rather than the person speaking. And I can't wear my hair down as it brushes against the microphone and just makes a static sound.

If you find a solution please let me know

sausagepastapot · 11/02/2022 18:32

NHS provide lots of the exact same hearing aids that you'd pay for privately. Actually, a lot of private hearing aids (the 'hidden', in ear ones) block your ear canal which hinders your ability to use residual hearing.

You can download a Dictate app to help you understand what people are saying- it pops up live subtitles on your phone as people talk. Some are more effective and accurate than others.

But mostly, don't be embarrassed of ashamed of your hearing loss- 1 in 5 people in the UK have one and it is nothing to be ashamed of. It's part of who you are. Embrace it! Society on the whole need better deaf awareness!!!!

BusySittingDown · 11/02/2022 18:34

Seriously, get hearing aids!

But yes, I feel your pain. With the masks and the screens up around counters it's a nightmare.

I won't shop in Aldi anymore - I'll go where I can use the self scan so I don't have to talk to the cashier.

Trying to order in Starbucks the other month was awful. I couldn't hear a word.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 11/02/2022 18:37

It's not really that I need things said louder, just clearer!

Is everyone mumbling OP Grin. Seriously, you would probably find hearing aids improve your quality of life, and they are so unobtrusive now. I understand the reluctance because I'm the same with glasses, but the day is coming.

user1471453601 · 11/02/2022 18:46

I wear hearing aids (blue tooth enabled, yeay) and have done for twenty years.

There are still times when, even with my fantastic aids, I struggle. I'd defiantly struggle in the scenario you describe.

When I first was fitted for them the audioligist said I was lucky to be starting relatively young (I was 50!) As I'd find it easier to get used to. Another good tip I was given was always to sit with your back against the wall in restaurants. Makes sense because the amplifier on the aids is at the back, and has been noted, they amplify all noise, not just those you want to hear.

But my aids have various adaptations. I can turn Voice Clarity, Wind deletion, and other variations on and off as needed.

As others have said, get your hearing tested and if you need aids, get them. There is nothing "wrong" with wearing aids. After all I also wear reading glasses. I think of both hearing and sight aids as pretty much the same.

Also, the danger of social isolation is very real.

It's very tempting to give up socialising because you get fed up of asking people to repeat themselves, because in a social situation, most discussion is small talk, and so not important. But it's small talk that's often oils the wheels of social interaction.

Oh, and finally, do tell people when you struggle. In my expert , people are almost always understanding.

BusySittingDown · 11/02/2022 18:52

@user1471453601 are your hearing aids NHS? Please tell me more about "Bluetooth enabled" what do they do?

DinkyDaisy · 11/02/2022 18:53

I have an NHS hearing aid. I work in a school and the lunch hall and ks1 busy learning can be painful for me! However, I struggle without the aid and it does make a positive difference generally.
I tend not to wear it at home. Happy to zone out teenagers sometimes!

astrowars · 11/02/2022 19:08

I have one sided hearing loss and an nhs hearing aid. It's not as helpful as the last one I had when my hearing loss wasn't so severe but it has blue tooth functionality to enable my phone, both speech and music to be sent straight to my hearing aid. The nhs audiology department have been absolutely brilliant and I honestly can't see the benefits of going privately when the nhs is so good.
I don't like socialising and am learning like a pp that sitting in the corner or with my back to a wall is better. Hearing loss can be very isolating and exhausting and it is embarrassing when you have to ask people to repeat themselves. Unfortunately that is the reality and most people are apologetic and helpful when you say you have a hearing loss.

justasimplelife · 11/02/2022 19:38

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

Thank you for the kind words. I don't usually struggle if I can see people's faces, it's only been very recently that I told my GP it had got worse (telephone appointments helpfully 🙄) I don't want hearing aids if I can help it Sad
I am EXACTLY the same as this. I often wonder whether there is anything else I can do to improve my hearing. I think about things like alternative medicine etc
BusySittingDown · 11/02/2022 19:42

@astrowars, when you say that music is sent straight to your hearing aid - is that like wearing headphones? I need to know more. I wear AirPods to listen to music on my walks but live in fear of a stranger trying to talk to me while I'm out 😂. I would have to take AirPods out, put hearing aids back in and wait for them to do their fucking jingle before they turn on (sorry for swearing, it infuriates me).

I've had hearing aids since I was 3 and no bugger ever told me about magic Bluetooth enabling hearing aids! The world for me is pretty much silent without hearing aids. I've always wished that they would invent something that would enable me to listen to music out and about without the need for headphones. It sounds like a dream come true!

purplemunkey · 11/02/2022 19:46

I bloody love my hearing aids. Don’t let the idea of them put you off. Mine are Bluetooth too. I didn’t think my hearing loss ‘was that bad’ either, but everything I take them out I realise what a difference they make. I got mine when I was about 37.

I can’t wait for masks to go either. Even with hearing aids it can be difficult to hear people through masks. Plus I have over the ear aids, so those and a mask, plus glasses when I need them, is far too much hanging off my face.

hippopot · 11/02/2022 20:11

My hearing is on the lowest part of normal one side and slight loss the other. I struggle badly, any background noise or if the person is not looking right at me and I'm only getting every few words

My line manager is very softly spoken, I'm sick of saying I didn't get that

I understand your frustrations OP

Serendip20 · 11/02/2022 20:27

I’m another one here who can empathise. I have moderate hearing loss from childhood illness but until COVID I could generally get through life without most people noticing. I’ve found it really upsetting especially in the office. The combination of face masks, bad hybrid meetings (when people try to huddle round a laptop on a zoom call) and trying to do online meetings in a loud office... it’s the first time I’ve ever really felt like my hearing loss is a disability and I’ve felt so awkward.

astrowars · 11/02/2022 20:37

[quote BusySittingDown]@astrowars, when you say that music is sent straight to your hearing aid - is that like wearing headphones? I need to know more. I wear AirPods to listen to music on my walks but live in fear of a stranger trying to talk to me while I'm out 😂. I would have to take AirPods out, put hearing aids back in and wait for them to do their fucking jingle before they turn on (sorry for swearing, it infuriates me).

I've had hearing aids since I was 3 and no bugger ever told me about magic Bluetooth enabling hearing aids! The world for me is pretty much silent without hearing aids. I've always wished that they would invent something that would enable me to listen to music out and about without the need for headphones. It sounds like a dream come true![/quote]
Yes, if I use Spotify, it streams it straight to my hearing aid like headphones.

Serendip20 · 11/02/2022 20:44

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

It's not really that I need things said louder, just clearer! I don't have the TV up loud and I work with small children who I understand perfectly well! The masks just feels like they are mumbling. I don't think it's bad enough for hearing aids yet. Genuinely, I'm not just saying that. My Dr is crap though and I am chasing another hearing test.
You’re completely right here. The masks actually distort the sound so, depending on the type of hearing loss you’ve got, people speaking louder doesn’t necessarily help.

It’s the equivalent of trying to use a magnifying glass to make sense of a blurred picture. The picture might be bigger, but it’s still just as blurred.

BusySittingDown · 11/02/2022 21:12

@astrowars, thank you, I could cry. I'm going to enquire about this to my audiologist and see if my type of hearing loss would be able to have this. It sounds amazing!

astrowars · 11/02/2022 22:07

[quote BusySittingDown]@astrowars, thank you, I could cry. I'm going to enquire about this to my audiologist and see if my type of hearing loss would be able to have this. It sounds amazing![/quote]
I hope you can get something to helpSmile

user1471453601 · 11/02/2022 22:24

@BusySittingDown, these aids I got are from a private supplier Amplion. I'd previously had NHS ones. NHS could only offer full, plastic ear filler ones, if you see what I mean.I wanted to get the in ear type that are much more comfortable and far less noticeable.

The blue tooth "thingy" (technical term) the sound when using my mobile phone (talking or listening to music or radio) goes straight to my hearing aids, not through the phones speaker. For the first time, I could use my mobile for calls instead of just texting.

It took friends/family a time to remember they could actually phone me, and I could hear them.

jollygreenpea · 11/02/2022 23:07

Mum is partially deaf, and said people don’t need to speak LOUDER , just more clearly, and to enunciate well.
Lots of people mumble

Absolutely this

BorderlineHappy · 12/02/2022 01:53

It's not only hard of hearing or deaf people affected by face masks.

Getting my COVID booster a few weeks back the woman giving me the jab.
Told me she doesn't realise how much she realises on facial expressions

I'm deaf and wear hearing aids.

Go for it after all your life won't be worse for it.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 12/02/2022 02:01

Another one who feels your pain.

I had to ask someone making a throwaway comment to repeat themselves three times before I understood, and that was only because they lowered their mask.

Can’t wait for this whole thing just to be over.

LorelaiDeservedBetter · 12/02/2022 02:03

I don't want masks to go away because I don't think the numbers merit the Govt ripping up the rule book but I relate so much to the rest of your post.
I've had slight hearing loss in one ear since a childhood accident and I never realised how much I lip read until the pandemic happened. Tonight, I was in the supermarket and it was quite noisy. The assistant spoke to me and I completely missed what they said. I only realised they'd spoken from their expectant look as they waited for my reply. They must have thought I was so rude.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 12/02/2022 02:13

I have mid range hearing loss in only one ear. I have aids in both ears to stop the good ear overcompensating and causing nausea/headaches.

Mine are also Bluetooth with the different settings for wind noise etc. There are also different gadgets available to get tv sound direct to your ears and a desk microphone for loud meetings/social functions.

I noticed my problem when I couldn’t hear conversations in pubs and restaurants and if
people were talking with their back to
me.

The difference was amazing.

BookFiend4Life · 12/02/2022 02:39

I just tell people I'm hard of hearing, people are usually really nice about it. I don't want hearing aids either :/

BusySittingDown · 12/02/2022 06:48

@user1471453601, that's incredible. If I had to get them privately it sounds well worth it.

@BorderlineHappy, my hairdresser said that she can never really tell how people feel about their haircuts anymore! She said that they always say it's nice and thank you but she used to be able to tell from the look on their faces.

Swipe left for the next trending thread