Help me to get my husband to understand

[Iwantmynameback]

Age old problem, I do roughly around 95% of the things ie cook, clean, laundry within our household...we have 3 dc. I work until 2.30 everyday and luckily only during term time. I realise that this gives me more time to do the majority of household jobs...but is it too much to ask for Dh to help out when he comes home from work. Not every eve but on the eves when their is laundry to be put away, maybe a bathroom to clean a wash to put on.....🤷‍♀️
We have spoken about this many many times, there are promises to help out more, it might last a day or two and then we are back to old habits once again. Things i would like a bit of help with are laundry, put on a wash, bringing it upstairs put away your own clothes, clean a bathroom or two, sweep, polish every now and then..
If we run out of milk, bread something essential he wouldn't think of buying some or telling me we need it and it can be late in the eve before i realise anything needs replacing. I think im just a bit sick and tired of it being left to me. He does so some jobs that i wouldn't do. Am i asking too much, should it be all my responsibility because of my working hours.....should i just be grateful for the things he does do and just suck it up and not get cross with him or myself.....wise words please

Op, the 17yo could cook one meal a week. The younger ones could do Saturday lunch between them.

Any of them could pick up bits of shopping for you.

I think you need to delegate more. Ask them to pick up milk etc for you.

I don’t understand about the lack of an adequate freezer … And thus the regular running out of basic foods like milk and bread.

Two people working? Could you not prioritise setting aside money for a freezer? And there must surely be one grocer that will deliver to you, so you can buy enough for a full week and avoid mad dashes for tiny things.

Slightly feel you’re running your household as if you have very small children, OP, but it’s already been covered above.

I would say at 11 and 17 they can also do a bit to help

Also yes it wouldn't hurt your dh to throw in a wash or tackle a bathroom once or twice a week
We currently both work full time and both pitch in , I used to work 4 days so had one day off which I used as a big clean day but dh still helped evenings and weekend
Kids have there own chores mine are 18 and 16 now and 18 year old full time working too but still has to pitch in, 16year old has to hoover and walk the dog

I'm a sahm, and dd works full time hours. He absolutely has to pull his weight when he's at home. Yes I do the majority during the day, but he can hang/put away washing, do the pots after dinner, throw laundry in the machine etc. Yanbu.
However yabu in that you're not having your children also do some of the grunt work. They're old enough to help out at home now.

"I absolutely believe that if the op worked full time, he'd be exactly the same!"

@Comedycook I totally agree with this. Because it's more to do with the sort of mind set a person has rather than whose responsibility it actually is. (And I'm talking about small day to day tasks here, like emptying the kitchen bin, putting a new toilet roll on the holder and just generally tidying up after yourself as you go.) If people are aware that something needs doing they'll just automatically do it. They won't just leave it because they finish work two hours later than their OH.

wow so many replies, thank you, yes i agree I should do the majority because of my working hours....i think the point I was trying to make is thst it would be helpful if some of the load was taken of me in terms of if you see something that needs to be done, just do it....don't just leave it until I come along and do it....ie the famous laundry or making a shopping list..there is a piece of paper stuck on a press in the kitchen where everyone can write on it if they need something from shopping....nobody does only me so if something is not bought I'm asked do we have it....
yes my Dh could do the list, he could meal plan for the week but he never takes it upon himself to do this automatically by himself and sometimes for the easier life I find myself doing it
@Velvian so much of what you say rings true for me thank you. Its not about the school hols but about day to day when everyone is busy and taking some of the mental load off me.
@tonewater23....there is no drip feed and I dont believe I am making mountains out off molehills.

@UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea i think i am taken for granted, I will say its partly my own fault for letting this happen
Yes my Dh appreciates what i do.
@TottersBlankly With regards the freezer we can save all the money in the world to buy a bigger one but if you have no space to put it what can you do?
I like to do a bit everyday so there is no big clean at the weekends and we all get to chill out.
I honestly think even if i worked more hours things would still be left for me.
A family meeting will be had this eve, a rota will be made the 17 year can start doing a meal one eve a week.
Thanks again everyone for your thoughts, advice, opinions appreciate it all.