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Original poster

How many of you found your partners online?

70 replies

LadyGagagagaga123 · 06/02/2022 19:31

I'm throwing myself into it one final time before I give up, join a knitting course and accept I'm never going to find him. There seem to be a lot more men with non sleazy profiles claiming to be looking for long term relationships than when I was previously on there (although I know they aren't all necessarily genuine). I can only assume this is because I'm looking at an age bracket where many of them have had their first marriages end. I've been completely honest this time and direct about what I do and don't want. I'm no longer beating about the bush or worrying how will this sound how will that sound, I can't be bothered with bullshit. There's only one person I want to attract anyway, wherever the fuck he is. It just seems so easy and yet so hard. If "my one" is sat on a sofa somewhere wondering where I am all he has to do is set up a profile... one click and boom you've found him! I really want to find him, he's the only thing missing from my life. When and if he eventually thunderbolts into my life the fucker had better be wearing a cape! Never mind kissing frogs and princes I've had some right toads. So I'd love to hear some positivity... did anyone meet their best friend online??

OP posts:

ImInStealthMode · 06/02/2022 19:37

DP and I matched on Hinge (I'd logged on for one last look before deleting it) and then before we'd arranged a date we bumped into each other in a local pub.

3 months later he moved in 'for lockdown', coming up 2 years later we're getting married in June and about to sell my flat and buy a bigger property together.

He's my best friend, team mate and the kindest person I've ever encountered. I don't remember a time when I didn't know him

Original poster

LadyGagagagaga123 · 06/02/2022 19:52

You're so lucky :-)

OP posts:

ultramarathoner · 06/02/2022 19:52

Yes we met on eharmony and have been together 8 years. I only found online dating to be. Positive experience. Had a few nice dates and two relationships.
Set your bar high and don't accept game playing time wasters.

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Tempusfudgeit · 06/02/2022 20:06

Met online, been together 12 years and married for 10. As PP said - set your bar high.

Original poster

LadyGagagagaga123 · 06/02/2022 20:07

Oh I will, I don't tolerate arseholes believe me

OP posts:

Totalwasteofpaper · 06/02/2022 20:11

Me!!!! On tinder

And he is great. We would never have met IRL without it

Feedmepancakes · 06/02/2022 20:17

We met on Match! Been together almost 10 years now.

Blankiefan · 06/02/2022 20:26

Met DH online 12 years ago (Match.com). I had fannied around with OLD several times but something clicked and I got serious about it.

What worked for me was:

reaching out to lots of men who fitted what I was looking for.
exchanged only 2 or 3 emails with them before deciding if they stayed on my list.
met them during the day for coffee. I often set up 2 or 3 day dates in the same day. (I like efficiency!!) It was an hour out of my life and it didn’t drag on if things weren't right. Also, the lack of booze kept my judgement sharp. I Used these coffee day dates as my real screening opportunity. I Decided during this meeting if I was interested in a proper first date.

This might not work for you but it did for me. Good luck.

Hugasauras · 06/02/2022 20:27

Not quite the same but we met via online gaming 10 years and are now happily married with one DD and another on the way

Tricked2003 · 06/02/2022 20:30

Match.com..............married almost 18 years now

voxnihili · 06/02/2022 20:31

I met DP on plenty of fish . I was young at the time and hadn’t really heard of POF. I dated a few people from there who were awful but then started chatting to someone who seemed ‘normal’. We’d moved in together within a couple of months. That was over 10 years ago. We’ve not married but we do have a 3 year old DD.

firstimemamma · 06/02/2022 20:33

Me. It's 7 years since our first date to the day

We met on match. It was his first ever online date and my second (the first guy was a disaster!). We hit it off straight away.

We got married last year and have a lovely little boy and a home. I'm due our second baby next month and we're really happy, I absolutely love him and he's such an amazing support to me.

Do it op. It completely changed my life

Bloatstoat · 06/02/2022 20:40

We met 15 years ago on the Guardian Soulmates site which has since shut down, married 10 years, 3DCs. I didn't meet any truly awful men, but has a good few dates that went nowhere (including one who just didn't turn up for the second date we'd arranged then completely ghosted me) then met DH. If you really want to meet someone OP, it doesn't have to be OLD but you do need a plan of how you can meet people otherwise and for me it seemed the easiest way. Wishing you lots of luck.

LlamaLucy · 06/02/2022 20:42

Yes! He was my first EVER online date. We met via Elite Singles, and we have been together 5 years, married for 2

Original poster

LadyGagagagaga123 · 06/02/2022 20:50

OLD is probably my only chance really, unless the gas man turns out to be my future husband or if I get stuck in a lift with some random one day. I don't go out much anymore and I'm very introverted. So I'll see how it goes one last time for a little while and hope I can have a bit of real happiness for a change. It's fucking grim, but there are lots of men admitting on their profiles that they hate it too and they want someone to "save me" or "help me delete this" lol I find it amusing and actually pretty comforting to know I'm not the only one feeling overwhelmed.

OP posts:

GeorgiePorge · 06/02/2022 20:56

I met my partner on match. First OLD in few years and looking forward to it.

fast forward 2 years and I couldn't be happier really. We moved in together, relocates to neq part of the country and son was born 4 months ago.

Good luck!

Totalwasteofpaper · 06/02/2022 21:06

I have posted about it before..
But basically I treated it like a job. Literally.

I did "shifts" and also spend time reviewing what worked and didn't and put frameworks and processes in place which I optimised and refined.

So Sunday shift was sifting and setting up date for the week. Tue, wed and thu shifts were date days. I would go out minimum of two days. If I didn't have dates I would spend the time looking for more matches or queuing up dates.
Commuting downtime in the AM and PM were also used to message potential dates.

I had a format for first dates (low key environments, easily escapable but conducive to romance...) and identified suitable venues in 6-7 locations in various parts of london that ticked the box.
if I didn't like the guy I would politely leave after first or second drink (developed stock "exit phrasing" that graciously ended the date)

There was loads more... I was doing it for about 3 years and could def write a book on it 🤣

Arghhconfused · 06/02/2022 21:09

Online yes but not OLD, he's my soul mate

Winnerwinnerveggiedinner · 06/02/2022 21:09

It was so long ago I can’t remember! Predates Match.com. Met in 2003, married in 2004 and still going strong. It was nothing like the depressing stories I hear about OLD now.

Blankie has some good advice. You do (did!) have to put some time and effort - remember you’re somebody’s catch and not at the mercy of anyone. Good luck!

BowerOfBramble · 06/02/2022 21:18

Yes, on Hinge. We’re married now.

I think expecting thunderbolts out of a first online date is a route to certain disappointment though, the first date is a nervous time.

Sounds like you’re going the right way about it though.

Ejk1990 · 06/02/2022 21:21

We met on PON 13 years ago. We have been married for 6 years. He is my soul mate honestly.

namechangeanonymous · 06/02/2022 21:23

We 'met' online but I knew of him vaguely this is 10 years ago we married 8 years ago and about to have our first DD this summer.

MrsTophamHat · 06/02/2022 21:30

I met my DH on Plenty of Fish after maybe 2-3 years of dating. We chatted, it tailed off a little as I was pursuing another lead but started chatting again after a week or two and the rest is history. We moved in together after 8 months, got engaged after a year, bought our house and have been married 7 years this year with two children.

OLD is a numbers game. Plain. And. Simple.

MrsTophamHat · 06/02/2022 21:36

@Totalwasteofpaper

I have posted about it before.. But basically I treated it like a job. Literally.

I did "shifts" and also spend time reviewing what worked and didn't and put frameworks and processes in place which I optimised and refined.

There was loads more... I was doing it for about 3 years and could def write a book on it 🤣

This is 👌

I was nowhere near as methodical but I had a process:

Message all possibilities. Personalised, thoughtful messages. Disregard any non replies or those who cannot hold a conversation.
Suggest a low key date within a few days. Disregard any who just want to message. I am not in the market for a pen pal.
Go on dates. If none progress to second date, return to step one.

Golden rule is avoid pinning all your hopes on one man. Always have a few options on the go to avoid yourself getting attached to a fantasy. If you've met in real life and properly hit it off then you can let the others go.

Rrrob · 06/02/2022 21:38

Yep been together 10 years and married for 5 :)

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