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Original poster

How many of you found your partners online?

70 replies

LadyGagagagaga123 · 06/02/2022 19:31

I'm throwing myself into it one final time before I give up, join a knitting course and accept I'm never going to find him. There seem to be a lot more men with non sleazy profiles claiming to be looking for long term relationships than when I was previously on there (although I know they aren't all necessarily genuine). I can only assume this is because I'm looking at an age bracket where many of them have had their first marriages end. I've been completely honest this time and direct about what I do and don't want. I'm no longer beating about the bush or worrying how will this sound how will that sound, I can't be bothered with bullshit. There's only one person I want to attract anyway, wherever the fuck he is. It just seems so easy and yet so hard. If "my one" is sat on a sofa somewhere wondering where I am all he has to do is set up a profile... one click and boom you've found him! I really want to find him, he's the only thing missing from my life. When and if he eventually thunderbolts into my life the fucker had better be wearing a cape! Never mind kissing frogs and princes I've had some right toads. So I'd love to hear some positivity... did anyone meet their best friend online??

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 06/02/2022 21:48

I met and dated three men on OLD. The first was a bit of a shitbag and did all of the standard lovebombing stuff before behaving really badly, and I didn’t recognise it for what it was at the time. The second was a lovely man who wanted the whole love and relationship thing but he wasn’t right for me. We’ve been friends for over a decade now though.
The third man is now my DH and is the best person I have ever met.

almostforgotitwastwilight · 06/02/2022 21:58

Me! Met DH on Tinder. Together for almost 6 years and married for 3 in September 😊

Milomonster · 06/02/2022 22:34

I’m currently OLDing and I’ve reframed my thinking on it from finding the love of my life to meeting interfering people who I wouldn’t come across in everyday life. If something comes from it, great. If not, I’m not disappointed. It requires a lot of effort but don’t lower your standards. If a guy has nothing interesting to say in his messages, he sounds too low effort. I recently matched with a really lovely guy who is doing all the right things (very rare) - replying to messages, apologizing for not replying sooner (I never expected him to), very interesting, and suggested we meet after we established after 3 messages that there was enough to make a meeting worth the time. He will travel from outside of London to see me. I’m not getting all excited as he could cancel/ghost at any moment. BUT, there is some hope that there are nice men out there. Give it a go - nothing to lose.

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General relationships
Starlightandsparkles · 06/02/2022 22:36

I met mine on okcupid
I’d been on and off online dating for 3 years and been on over 150 dates
I went on one day and just said hi to a bloke
Been with him over 6 years

StrawberrySanta · 06/02/2022 22:43

Met mine on tinder, we are married now with 2 kids!

Catra · 06/02/2022 22:57

I did, on Match.com, 11 years ago. Happily married 7 years now with a 3 year old daughter.

After a string of disappointing dates I'd almost given up and was thinking of deleting my profile but first decided to go back through the messages I'd received to see if there was anyone interesting I'd missed. He was the first person who'd ever messaged me but I hadn't replied at the time because he was shorter than me, but I changed my mind and messaged him back...turns out he was actually several inches taller than me but didn't know his height so had taken a guess!

bloodywhitecat · 06/02/2022 23:05

We met on Tinder, together 6 years now and married for 8 months.

BashfulClam · 06/02/2022 23:56

Met my husband on match in 2007. Met a few different ‘matches’ one was awful and a few were nice but not for me.

Heartofglass12345 · 07/02/2022 00:00

I met mine on plenty of fish, we went on our first date and got married a year and a couple of days later, and our first son was born a week after that! We now have 2 children Smile

Heartofglass12345 · 07/02/2022 00:01

Sorry forgot to say he was the first person I found on POF and we've been together nearly 10 years now, hard to believe!

mumjustmum · 07/02/2022 00:05

🙋🏻‍♀️my ex housemate made me swipe right on bumble on my husband. We met that night, he took me to Barcelona for the weekend 6 weeks in, said I love you 6 months later, moved in 3 after that, 3 after that tried for baby, 14 months after pregnant, married at 7 months pregnant, 4 months after first born, pregnant with twins.
6 years later, and we are off to Barcelona for our six year of dating anniversary. The kids are not coming!

NoNameIdeas · 07/02/2022 00:06

I did! I joined match in the year I turned 30 to basically be able to tell my friends it wasn't for me etc etc...i chatted to one guy on the day I joined and we met for coffee a few days after. It's our 6th wedding anniversary next month and we have two children....I've not made it to 40 yet!

Serena1977 · 07/02/2022 00:07

I met dh on match, 3rd man I met. First was a b*ard, tried again, second was nice but no spark, third is DH.

Married for 10 years

Dee03 · 07/02/2022 00:27

We matched on FB dating 6 months ago.
He msgd me first....clicked straight away, met in person a week later....we are both late forties....it's all good so far Grin

GTAlogic · 07/02/2022 02:06

Dh and I met online 14 years ago. We joined different sites and I paid more than him but were still introduced to each other. He was talking to a couple of other women but didn't like their names so went with me! He was the only one I had a message from because I'd only signed up the week before. We've been married 9 years this year and have two children.

Anthurium · 07/02/2022 07:18

Do you want children @LadyGagagagaga123? And how old are you?

If you're late 30s and hoping to meet someone in time to have a family I'd advise against it. Otherwise, if time is of no issue, I'd give a few years (and make an arbitrary date when to take action if you still haven't met anyone suitable, ie. freeze eggs/go it solo/ if you're keen in having children).

I met my current partner on tinder, it didn't work out the first time, however aged 37 I knew that I wouldn't get lucky again to meet someone I really fancied. Aged 39 and having done IVF with a sperm I reconnected with my ex partner and we're giving it another go. The difference now is that I'm a lot more calm, the baby issue sorted, and I can relax and enjoy getting to know him at my pace with no expectations. Once the pressure of having a baby was off, I could see more clearly

Original poster
LadyGagagagaga123 · 07/02/2022 07:23

37 and definitely don't want children

OP posts:
MelTem43 · 07/02/2022 07:29

I met my oh on Bumble. I stayed fixed on what was important to me and quickly eliminated men who didn't fit particular criteria. Saying that Bumbles algorithm threw a real spanner in my works by seemingly ignoring one of my criteria but that couldn't have worked out better for me. I put very little effort into first messages believing if men were interested in getting to know me they'd show it. Also I wanted to weed out the men who swiped on everyone.

My first message was always just a greeting with their name. After what sapping for a bit I'd ask for a video call if they didn't so we could see each others faces. Then first date within a week or so to stop overinvesting.

Greenzone · 07/02/2022 07:34

Yes, been together about 5 years. We are late 40s/early 50s.

ThreeRingCircus · 07/02/2022 07:38

*What worked for me was:

  • reaching out to lots of men who fitted what I was looking for.
  • exchanged only 2 or 3 emails with them before deciding if they stayed on my list.
  • met them during the day for coffee. I often set up 2 or 3 day dates in the same day. (I like efficiency!!) It was an hour out of my life and it didn’t drag on if things weren't right. Also, the lack of booze kept my judgement sharp. I Used these coffee day dates as my real screening opportunity. I Decided during this meeting if I was interested in a proper first date.*

I completely agree with this.

I met my husband on Plenty of Fish 10 years ago. He was date number 6 and actually only one of the guys I met on there was a twat, the others were all nice, normal blokes just not for me.

I always tried to arrange a date quickly, no messaging for weeks building up a picture of them in your head that doesn't match with reality. Always a first date going for coffee during the daytime and I didn't expect fireworks on a first date, recognise you'll both be a bit nervous and conversation can be a bit stilted if you're both getting to know one another. DH and I's relationship was a slow burn but I thought he seemed a thoroughly decent guy right from the off and I'm so glad I gave it time to get to know him properly, he's my world.

NightmareSlashDelightful · 07/02/2022 07:41

Yes I did. Early 2000s. I saw it as a numbers game. I shagged kissed quite a few frogs but had fun doing it. Been with DH almost 20 years now.

MrsGHarrison87 · 07/02/2022 07:52

Yes, on PoF. I was on there about 2 years, spoke to loads of people but I think I was picky because I was a single mum with 3 kids and I needed someone who was right for all of us. Eventually I met someone perfect and we're married with a child 6 years down the line.

36degrees · 07/02/2022 07:52

Mid-2000s, still together. First time lucky, but meeting online seems very different now. Of my immediate friends group, 3 out of 6 couples met online/via dating sites.

36degrees · 07/02/2022 07:53

Should add, the other three couples met via work or set up via mutual friends.

RedRobin100 · 07/02/2022 07:55

Yes I did
My last two partners (including my now husband)

I disagree very much it’s a “numbers game”.
I went on very few dates really
Set your bar and expectations high, don’t entertain time wasters, meet in person sooner rather than later, and don’t judge a person too much on their photo - meet them in person ans suss the chemistry unstead