Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you expect biscuits / cake?

103 replies

AugustSeptemberOctober · 06/02/2022 19:06

My friend popped round for a cup of tea this afternoon, about 3pm, and stayed for a couple of hours. DH thinks I'm terrible for not getting a bit of cake or some biscuits in to offer her... (I don't have any in the house generally as I'm on a diet, and would definitely just eat it). Now I feel really rude! If you went to someone's house for a drink, would you think it rude if your friend didn't offer cake or biscuits?

OP posts:
sadpapercourtesan · 06/02/2022 20:00

@LeQuern

Most shop bought cakes and biscuits are shit too. Claggy nastiness.

Come round mine for cheese and wine! (I am not Carrie Johnson).

I don't think anybody thought you were Grin

It is quite an established social convention, to offer food to guests.

scandikate · 06/02/2022 20:00

I wouldn't think it was rude but I would be expecting it yes. Just in my experience whenever I go to someone's house they will offer me a drink and a snack and the other way around.

adriftabroad · 06/02/2022 20:01

LeQueen? Back again?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General relationships
LeQuern · 06/02/2022 20:01

I do realise, yes @DueyCheatemAndHow. And I find this much trotted out MN response to be quite strange; you do realise I too am not the same as you, yes?

Susu49 · 06/02/2022 20:02

I wouldn't have expected it unless I was staying longer than 2 hours in which case you can start getting hungry and host ought to be sensitive to that.

I do always make sure I have something in, myself, for guests.

LeQuern · 06/02/2022 20:03

@RussiasGreatestLoveMachine

Still have plenty of friends who call round (mainly for wine in the evenings) so I can’t be that shit a host.

And do you just sit there drinking wine?

Or do you provide something for them to eat - cheese, crackers, etc…..?

You’ll note I mentioned cheese in the post.
NutellaEllaElla · 06/02/2022 20:03

On some days I'd love you to offer me a biscuit or cake, other days it's the last thing I want. I hope that helps op. Grin

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 06/02/2022 20:04

I have Mrs Doyle tendencies so she'd have had a plate of sandwiches before the biscuits and cake and tea. Possibly with a brandy for the road.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 06/02/2022 20:04

You’ll note I mentioned cheese in the post.

And you’ll notice I posted that comment before you did.

And so, there we go - you get the concept. As a good host, you provide food and drink. Wink

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 06/02/2022 20:05

Sorry - we clearly cross-posted those comments.

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 06/02/2022 20:05

@adriftabroad

LeQueen? Back again?
Oh I do hope so.
sadpapercourtesan · 06/02/2022 20:05

Cheese and wine in the evening is a bit of a red herring really. It's an entirely different set of conventions and a very different scenario.

Morning coffee-and-catch-up does generally feature the offer, at least, of something to go with the coffee.

LeQuern · 06/02/2022 20:05

@RussiasGreatestLoveMachine

You’ll note I mentioned cheese in the post.

And you’ll notice I posted that comment before you did.

And so, there we go - you get the concept. As a good host, you provide food and drink. Wink

Well, technically your post was 1 min after mine but I’ll let it go Wink
Holly60 · 06/02/2022 20:06

I would always have cake or biscuits to offer with a cup of tea.

adriftabroad · 06/02/2022 20:10

The libation, time of day and snack of choice is irrelevant.

You provide something to be kind and welcoming. Especially if an arranged rdv.

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/02/2022 20:12

Surely it also depends on who is coming as to whether it’s going to be found “rude” or not? Your best friends aren’t going to think anything of it, are they? And quite honestly, if your best friends are tittering about biscuits and your rudeness and poor hosting behind your back, your biggest problem ain’t your lack of biscuits.

Twinkleylight · 06/02/2022 20:13

I always offer biscuits with tea/coffee. I don't always have cake but I always have biscuits. I'd think it was rude not to offer any but that's just me.

adriftabroad · 06/02/2022 20:15

No, it's your preoccupation with you own self and your diet!

GreyGoose1980 · 06/02/2022 20:15

I’d always offer biscuits or cake if I invited a friend round for coffee.

gogohm · 06/02/2022 20:15

Something yes if I knew they were coming

RowanAlong · 06/02/2022 20:16

Yep if it was a previously arranged cuppa, I’d expect at least a fancy biscuit 😁

adriftabroad · 06/02/2022 20:17

My sister did this once, a friend came on a three hour trip and arrived at 7pm ish... she knew my sister liked wine, my sister had some in the fridge but wouldn't serve her friend as she (sister) was on 'Dry January'.

Bloody rude.

Loki01 · 06/02/2022 20:18

@AugustSeptemberOctober

Sorry I should have said, we did arrange it a couple of days ago so I did have time to get something. She didn't just turn up Blush
I would have got some but she should have also brought some:) In any case, its no biggie especially if I would know the friend is on a diet.
ADisgruntledPelican · 06/02/2022 20:19

If I invited someone around for coffee/tea, I'd also offer sandwiches, biscuits/cake.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 06/02/2022 20:21

@ComtesseDeSpair

Surely it also depends on who is coming as to whether it’s going to be found “rude” or not? Your best friends aren’t going to think anything of it, are they? And quite honestly, if your best friends are tittering about biscuits and your rudeness and poor hosting behind your back, your biggest problem ain’t your lack of biscuits.
I genuinely don’t think anyone ‘titters’ behind anyone’s back, and a best friend popping in is a different matter. As I said upthread, as a guest/visitor, I wouldn’t expect it. But as a host, I’d absolutely offer food as well as drink.

But 🤷🏻‍♀️ my best friends of 40 years plus always, always gets offered something to eat, whether it’s with coffee or wine. Just like everyone else….