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Am i the only one on mumsnet who ......

113 replies

Spongebobsmartypants · 06/02/2022 15:47

Is just a bog standard mum living in an bog standard house, working in a bog standard job with no cleaner or nanny, who drinks a wee bit too much wine at the weekend and eats to much chocolate, who lets their kids watch tv so i can get peace and wouldn't LTB for Leaving the toilet seat up or leaving dirty washing on the floor.

I feel like i don't fit in even in real life i dont know people like the ones on mumsnet. This is in no way a criticism, i love the support on the site.

OP posts:
LethargeMarg · 06/02/2022 18:56

Aw that's a lovely way to see your i n- laws- that's one area I need to work on ! But I know my parents are bloody hard work as well though would never consider going 'nc' with them !?

KurtWilde · 06/02/2022 18:59

No car here, shop at my local Lidl and the town centre is only 15 mins away on foot. Don't think I've ever been in an M&S food hall in my life.

HelloFrostyMorning · 06/02/2022 19:02

YANBU @Spongebobsmartypants And I agree with the poster who said, many women here dish out learned advice but would never do it themselves. They dish out the 'LTB' advice all the time, and come out with the same tale of how they left THEIR husband, at the age of 45-50, and have never been happier, or richer, how they now have a shiny new career, and a whole bunch of new friends.

In reality, leaving your DH at 45-50 years old would leave many women in poverty and penury, scratting for hours at work just to make ends meet, and spending her evenings alone, in front of the TV. And in many cases, she will regret leaving.

Unless the DH was abusive, or constantly unfaithful, or a compulsive gambler, throwing the family into severe financial trouble/bankruptcy, why would you leave? We all have our annoying and irritating habits and traits and most men are no worse than most women... Life is easier financially (for most) when you are sharing it with someone. I know dozens of women come on here to say how amazing it is being alone, but unless you're very solvent/quite rich, it's not an easy life at all.

I also have no cleaner, no gardener, and no maid, and I don't even have a tumble dryer or dishwasher. I work part time (from home) and really enjoy it, and my DH works 34 hours a week. He drives me nuts sometimes, and I know I drive him nuts too sometimes. But we love each other, and have a good time together quite often, and have a lot in common.

We have savings, but only the low 4 figures, our private pensions are quite poor, we rent our property from a housing association, and we have a 10 year old car. Only one, not one each. We buy our clothes at Tesco, The Original Factory Shop, Asda, and Peacocks, our food at Aldi and Morrisons, and have not been to a hairdresser in 10 years, choosing to do it ourselves.

We are only average earners, but as we have a cheap social housing property we are comfortable. However, we have been through some really bad times financially in the past, where we lost everything but I would rather not discuss it in detail. It almost broke us mentally and emotionally though. We came out stronger though.

We lost our parents some years ago, but did get on with each others parents, and we get on OK with extended family, and have 2 perfect 20-something daughters. We enjoy McDonalds too, and takeaway, crisps, chocolate, wine, port, and beer. We rarely exercise, (only go for walks and bike rides 2 or 3 times a week,) we don't go to the gym, and rarely cook from scratch. Maybe one meal in five! We mostly have takeaways, ready meals, sandwiches, salads, Maccies, pizza, toast, frozen pies/ burgers/ fish etc, and oven chips, and sometimes tinned food.... OH I am a size 14 too!

As many people on here say, the way some women portray themselves on here is not how I see ANYone in real life. Some women on here live in a dream world, especially the ones who promote trying for a baby past the age of 45 as something normal and acceptable, and 'everyone they know does it...' .In real life, no-one does that.

Also, NO-ONE I know in real life, has EVER been asked for I.D. to prove they're old enough to buy booze, when they're 43!

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clpsmum · 06/02/2022 19:03

@Spongebobsmartypants

Is just a bog standard mum living in an bog standard house, working in a bog standard job with no cleaner or nanny, who drinks a wee bit too much wine at the weekend and eats to much chocolate, who lets their kids watch tv so i can get peace and wouldn't LTB for Leaving the toilet seat up or leaving dirty washing on the floor.

I feel like i don't fit in even in real life i dont know people like the ones on mumsnet. This is in no way a criticism, i love the support on the site.

You're my kindred spirit
FourChimneys · 06/02/2022 19:03

I think the problem is believing what people write on here. I assume a large proportion of it is made up or exaggerated. I treat Mumsnet as a sort of online trashy magazine, the sort of nonsense you would browse through at the hairdresser then instantly forget.

Honestly, very ordinary here though.

Positivelysober · 06/02/2022 19:05

Yep, same here 😊
Although I don't have a cleaner - I am a cleaner🤣 wish I could/ would clean my house like I do other people's haha

SquigglePigs · 06/02/2022 19:06

I do have a cleaner but apart from that, yes to the rest!

Jellykat · 06/02/2022 19:14

I hear you Positivelysober, the last thing you want to do after cleaning all week, is do your own!!
I hoovered here for the first time in 5 weeks! Grin

weebarra · 06/02/2022 19:16

Also here!
I work p/t, DH f/t in 'lower professional' jobs. 3 kids, one dog. Two sets of ageing parents. No cleaner, two cars but one is on finance and mine is my mum's old one.
I drink too much, I'm fat and we shop in Lidl and Morrisons. Kids are exceptional only in that one has ASD and one has ADHD.

HelloFrostyMorning · 06/02/2022 19:17

@FourChimneys

I think the problem is believing what people write on here. I assume a large proportion of it is made up or exaggerated. I treat Mumsnet as a sort of online trashy magazine, the sort of nonsense you would browse through at the hairdresser then instantly forget.

Honestly, very ordinary here though.

This. ^ Most of what people write is a pile of shit.

The 'I earn £100K in a top-of-the-pyramid NICHE job' posts make me LOL. They're always NICHE, and always TOP jobs, and very NICHE, and very VERY well paid, but seem to allow them multiple dozens of hours a week freedom to post on mumsnet.

One poster recently claimed she has a very NICHE £200K a year job in science, and when challenged on why she has spent the past 3 days constantly on mumsnet, she claimed she is off sick as she has covid. LOL, yeah right! Grin

CPGyellowwallpaper · 06/02/2022 19:17

Me!!!

Single mum working full time, don't earn 100k a year, don't have a cleaner or a nanny.

Have a bf who can be a twat but most of the time is lovely and have no desire to ltb for not putting a new loo roll out.

That said I don't drink but do eat far too much chocolate and allow dd the tv on in her room so I can get some peace and quiet occasionally

SquirrelG · 06/02/2022 19:18

Unemployed, haven't had a permanent job for over three years. Rent (yes, rent!!!), even when I worked couldn't afford to jet all around the world, don't enjoy cooking, hate baking, wear clothes several times before washing them, do the housework when I feel like it, don't drive, rarely leave town, best friends with my exH (and I didn't LTB). However, happy and content.

Shergill15 · 06/02/2022 19:33

Me too. Live in a bog standard semi which has been a doer upper for about 15 years and is usually not as tidy as it should be. Earn average salary working 30 hours a week. DD is happy and content but eats chocolate and probably watches more TV than she should (but so do I!) No cleaner or nanny etc etc. Some of the threads on here really are a glimpse into another world, but there can be some great advice and support at times too

KurtWilde · 06/02/2022 19:43

Rented here too, with a landlord who never seems to get round to doing jobs on the house, but also let's me have 3 dogs. So it's swings and roundabouts really.

I also don't do set bedtimes for my kids when they reach 12ish.

AAAAAGHH · 06/02/2022 19:45

I'm depressingly normal too. Rented house and no hope of ever owning our own and no hope of ever inheriting money or property from relatives either side. I drive a 19 year old car which will only be replaced when it's dead. Even if I could afford a cleaner I wouldn't want one.
Have a small private pension to come when I retire and DH has none so he will have to work til he drops (self employed tradesman)

Lovemusic33 · 06/02/2022 19:48

I’m common as f&ck, no cleaner here, my house is untidy and doesn’t look like a show home. I live in a small 3 bed semi and I shop in primark.

princessspotify · 06/02/2022 20:00

I love this thread.
I live in a rented house would love to buy but doesn't seem to be working out.
I don't have cleaner Dh and I share. Childcare we manage between our shift patterns.
Our kids have a lot of screen time but as pp said they both do outside school activities.
We generally eat the same meals as my youngest Ds is fussy. We have a junk food cupboard, dh likes a beer I'm not a big drinker. We do have a car each but both old.
Sometimes I could cheerfully strangle him but I know I'd miss him Grin

lissie123 · 06/02/2022 20:11

So pleased there is more honesty here. It’s a relief. You’d have thought that all mnetters had nannies cleaners and were size 8-10 cooked from scratch and were high income earners. But I wouldn’t leave mumsnet ever because there is such good advice and support from all walks of life and when my dd was very poorly and I didn’t know what to do I got great support and advice. Sorry slight derailing of thread.

RonCarlos · 06/02/2022 20:12

Me. I read the threads about housekeeping and washing sheets and batch-cooking and slink off to put some pasta and pesto on. And not wash my sheets. I have been meaning to fold my washing all weekend and am currently sat on my phone while my kids are in different rooms on different devices. I enjoy nothing more than a day without plans.

I work part time in an office, I have a mediocre degree which qualified me for nothing, and I have zero desire to get promoted!

Gynaesaur · 06/02/2022 20:13

See, I am on an above average salary and, consequently, know a disproportionate amount of people who also are. But, by and large, our lifestyles are nothing like a lot of what's described on here. No cleaners, nannies, private schools, 4x4s, or money pit horses/hobbies.

Separate from the salary stuff- most people I know in real life are just so much more laid back. They answer the phone or door, even when they aren't expecting anyone. They eat food which other people have made- even children. They don't treat smokers like lepers.
Plus, maybe everyone I know is just a hard hearted bastard, but even the softest-touch parents I know aren't getting up multiple times each night for their three year old or sleeping on their seven year old's floor because they think sleep training is cruel.

NameChangeCity123 · 06/02/2022 20:16

I'm with you OP. Same here

NETSRIK · 06/02/2022 20:17

Normal average person here too 🙋‍♀️

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 06/02/2022 20:20

I feel like I’m the most ordinary of ordinary, sometimes Mumsnet makes me feel like an alien.

Afonavon · 06/02/2022 20:25

Oh I forgot…

We not only eat on our knees in front of the tv, the teens eat in their rooms and are on their phones and the bloody time (as am I!!!!)

lemongrasstea · 06/02/2022 20:28

Full disclosure: I don't shower every day, barely have a 5-figure salary, don't have a velvetiser or stove pot coffee machine, don't own anything cashmere, don't have a cleaner or a personal trainer or a hairdresser or a therapist .. ;)

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