Rules you had in your childhood that now seem bizarre?

[Tattted]

As a child/teen living with my parents we were actively discouraged from showering/bathing everyday. It was really frowned upon and seen as unnecessary and probably a bit extravagant. I know probably as a young child I didn’t need to but as I got older and even after I turned 18 and was still living at home they would have been a bit annoyed about it if I wanted to shower everyday . I should say where we live has no water charges so it wasn’t about that. Now as an adult and a mother myself it seems so strange. I realise it’s probably because my parents both came from large families that had very little money and, back then, no hot running water. Even know my parents bath weekly but sink wash every day.

My dad tried the "have to eat or all your food before you leave the table" thing me once. He folded before I did.

[quote Benjispruce5]@dottydodah it’s ‘Red hat, no knickers.”[/quote]
I was always told fur coat, no knickers....by my grandma who always wore fur for best ....and had 4 kids by 3 different men in the 40s and 50s....

At lower school (1980s) we weren't allowed to clap with both hands as the sound produced was too loud (??!) instead we had to tap our index and middle finger into the palm of our other hand

We had to do this at primary school too.

One "trunk call" a year, to our uncle in the UK. Any other relatives overseas, we had to write letters of course. That was not an odd rule of course, purely financial sense, but it does highlight how completely everyone's life has changed within less than one lifetime! I was having a Messenger group chat yesterday with my mum and my brother, all three of us on different continents, and reflecting on this, imagine if the me of 1975, eagerly awaiting the annual exotic trunk call to "overseas", could see this!

I was still at junior school when another girl told me about periods - over a particularly nasty school dinner.

My DM later emphasised that it meant I was now capable of having a baby, so I needed to watch what I got up to (not her actual words).

She never went into any detail about what I mustn’t get up to, but by then someone else had filled me in anyway. We were never actually told at school. There was no sex education to speak of, even at senior school. There was once a session where the biology teacher said she’d answer any questions (anonymous, on a piece of paper) and someone evidently asked about contraception.

Teacher’s reply was, ‘This is something no nice girl needs to know about until she’s married!’ 😂
This would have been in the mid 60s.

i well remember being only too pleased at eventually finding out (at 11 or so) the father’s role in baby-making. When younger I’d been very bemused at how a neighbour’s son was the absolute spit of his dad. How could that be, when the baby grew inside the mother?

I did ask my mother, but she fobbed me off - presumably too embarrassed! So I’d been left wondering for ages.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

I was still at junior school when another girl told me about periods - over a particularly nasty school dinner. My DM later emphasised that it meant I was now capable of having a baby, so I needed to watch what I got up to (not her actual words).

She never went into any detail about what I mustn’t get up to, but by then someone else had filled me in anyway. We were never actually told at school. There was no sex education to speak of, even at senior school. There was once a session where the biology teacher said she’d answer any questions (anonymous, on a piece of paper) and someone evidently asked about contraception.

Teacher’s reply was, ‘This is something no nice girl needs to know about until she’s married!’ 😂
This would have been in the mid 60s.

i well remember being only too pleased at eventually finding out (at 11 or so) the father’s role in baby-making. When younger I’d been very bemused at how a neighbour’s son was the absolute spit of his dad. How could that be, when the baby grew inside the mother?

I did ask my mother, but she fobbed me off - presumably too embarrassed! So I’d been left wondering for ages.

My best friend had been to lots of weddings as a child where the couple became pregnant very quickly after (or possibly before the wedding ). She thought, for years, that women had a baby inside them all the time and that, when they were married, the baby automatically started to grow.

oh I have just remembered! Public baths! not swimming baths, baths for having a bath.
We all had one bath a week in shared water in front of the kitchen fire but its not surprising considering that every drop of hot was boiled in pans and buckets on the gas stove and then baled out and thrown down the kitchen sink and the bath carried back downstairs to be hung up in the shed. The alternative for folk like us was the public baths but they were thought to be not nice at all, plus a long bus ride away from us. When we (DH and I) moved into the Bristol flat with no gas connected, we found that there still were public baths in Bristol at Jacob's Well's so we thought it was better than a wash down in an ice cold flat so we tried them. It wasn't as bad because we could drive there so no wet hair on the bus and we stopped on the way home and bought fish and chips to warm us up but it was soooooo cold! Everywhere was unheated and the water was tightly rationed for the money. They used to be known as "slipper baths, no idea why....here are some photos of them long after they closed. www.whateversleft.co.uk/leisure/the-slipper-baths-bristol-south-swimming-baths-bristol/

My mother also insists that the bath and wash basin are rinsed and dried after use!

We had sex ed at school and looking back it was quite comprehensive. A detailed film and discussion led by the school chaplain and chaperoned by a female teacher (all girls school) as the chaplain wasn't great at keeping order. It covered the basics of sex pregnancy and menstruation, condoms (no samples or demonstrations!) and the pill which was quite new then....we were told that of course these were only for married women as we should keep ourselves pure for our husbands...and incidentally told that our husbands to be should be keeping themselves pure for us. The risk of disease was mentioned in a "this won't affect you if you keep yourselves pure" way. Given that this was early/mid 60's in a high church of England girls only school, looking backl it seems surprisingly open. When i got home my Mum asked me if I had understood the everything and I said yes and she said "good. if you want to talk ask me" and that was that really.

I think I myself have a bit of an odd rule! I read a book as a child called Through the Narrow Gate, the famous autobiography of a woman who spent a period as a nun, about how terrible the conditions and treatment were in the nunnery. Something that really staryed with me was that she was not allowed to dry her hair after she washed it, and so repeatedly went to bed with wet hair. She believed that this was the cause of her chronic ear infections, which led to permament hearing problems. I have always blow-dried my little boy's hair after washing, no matter the weather or whether he is going to bed or doing something else! He is 12 and I still do this.

We didn't have much sex ed at school (1970s) but we did get shown the film "Growing Up in n assembly (all girls school), so there was that at least. Does anyone remember that film? A group of girls in my class then formed a "period club" to talk about periods (most had not yet started them so we must have been about 12 or 13), I was not cool enough to be allowed to join, I was a late developer and they teeased me because I had no boobs. I had the last laugh, BTW, by eighteen I had the most fabulous boobs and figure you ever saw (not boasting, I really did, I don't now though!).

We weren't allowed to drink from a glass and had to drink squash/juice from a mug.

When I was a teenager we had another family visit, and when I was told to get the teenager a drink, I obviously served it in a mug as that's what was normal. My parents were mortified and openly mocked me in front of the other family as if I was the strange one serving a mug of squash.

I was so embarrassed when they all laughed at me, and have not forgotten it 30 years later! Typical of my parents though to belittle me - they still do it now 🙄

My mother's fear of being thought "common" extended to language too. Never "pardon?" but always "what?". Never toilet but loo. People who said pardon or toilet were endured but derided behind their back. And unlike everyone else around us (normal in S Africa in 1970s) we were not allowed to call adults Auntie This and Uncle That. They had to be called by their first name, which was more "upper class" apparantly.

We didn't have many rules but my Mum wouldn't let us have drinks with dinner and we also were never allowed plain water to drink because my Mum didn't like it therefore we shouldn't either (have many fillings now which I blame on this!).

Like a previous poster, we had to call our parents' friends Auntie or Uncle. It was considered disrespectful to call them by their first name. Friends' parents were called Mrs. Murphy or Mr. O'Reilly. It was also considered rude or grasping to accept tea or food if you visited someone else so you'd have to play the Mrs. Doyle game of "Will you have a cup of tea?", "Ah no, I'm grand", before reluctantly accepting the tea/sandwich/biscuits

This. Makes me laugh so much. My own teens still call my best friends Auntie and their children are their cousins (or frousins). It's lovely as they are as close as family. When my friend's son was about 7 he asked where to put me and my children on his family tree they were doing at school. Bless.

This thread is making me very nostalgic. Mainly missing my beautiful mam: we had a golden, happy childhood because of her where we kids were centre in her life and we were showered with love. With 5 of us it wasn't easy with only dad's wage but we would never have known. To all those posters who had a tough childhood.

strawberriesarenot

"Luckyme2
No eating whilst walking along the street. ‘Common’. Sitting on a bench to eat though - absolutely fine
So many things were common.

What was this fear of 'common?' I never understood it, and I still don't. What was wrong with being pretty much like everybody else?"

My mother went into service in 1933, as a maid for a Lord and Lady who had returned to London from the Raj!

We had many customs around eating and the table and I continued them with my children as they seemed natural.

A lot of fear of being seen as 'common' came from the fear of being seen as unfit to parent I think.

My parents and grandparents weren't many generations away from the workhouse. Certainly there was not a benefits system to bolster income and I think these ideas take a while to change if people were still in poverty.
I know we were poor when I was growing up in the 60s and 70s No indoor bathroom or TV until I was 6 years old.

I still don't like eating in the street though I really enjoy cheesy chips after a night out in Glastonbury!

I miss my foremothers and their crazy to me ways so much.

Forget any notion of Halloween, it's only for Americans!

It's funny that it seems my mother had exactly the opposite of everyone else regarding calling unrelated adults "Auntie" and "Uncle", believing these to indicate you were "common". When I first went to meet my XH's parents, they instructed his neice and nephew to call me "Auntie" and I said oh no, they can just call me [my first name]. His father hit the roof and said he would not have such disrespectful behaviour under his roof, he threw a proper screaming tantrum and I was so embarrassed.

I. too. was told that I shouldn't wash my hair when having a period
Also cut the buttons of coats etc before sending them to be dry cleaned as 'the machinery would smash them to bits'
And 'nice' girls should not use Tampax!

Rules when i was growing up very much depended on which genatalia you had

My mum was a house wife and i was expected to take on certain chores, which were my responsibility, if i protested i would be severely punished, whether it was a punch or grounded for a ridiculous amount of time ( they didn't like me going out ) if on the very rare occasion i was at a friends house, i would be called to come back and do said chore and kept in after that

My brother on the other hand v different my SF didnt want him doing "womens" work and it was our job to look after them

Still cant stand the prick

@billycat321

I. too. was told that I shouldn't wash my hair when having a period Also cut the buttons of coats etc before sending them to be dry cleaned as 'the machinery would smash them to bits' And 'nice' girls should not use Tampax!

It did used to damage some buttons. in the early 70's i did saturday and holiday work in local Sketchley's I remember the complaints when buttons got damaged. if the coat looked particularly expensive then the buttons would be removed before dry cleaning and sewn back on afterwards. I was a treasure at the shop because I could sew buttons back on properly. one saturday a bloke came in looking to get a hole in his jumper darned. I had been left alone to close up (closed at lunchtime on saturdays) I said we had a send away service but he said he needed it back that day (and TBH I don't think he could afford it, as it was pricey) so I said if he would leave it with me for 30 minutes, if we had the wool colour I would darn it which I did. he came back and was really pleased. He asked me how much and i said no charge as I had no idea how to put it through the till. It was Tim McInnery who was in the Rocky Horror Show nearby... I wonder if he remembers.......

Parents would freak out if we tried to look out the windows and god forbid touch one of the net curtains. "Get away from the window "

Not allowed to leave any window open at all if nobody is home. Never.
All windows must always be locked with the little keys unless you are supervising an open window.

If I ever lost a house key there would be screaming, chaos and a fortune spent on a new front door lock as someone will have definitely seen me drop it,has picked it up and will certainly follow me home to rob the house at a later stage.

'red hat, no drawers'

@MotherOfAllZipFiles

Rules when i was growing up very much depended on which genatalia you had

My mum was a house wife and i was expected to take on certain chores, which were my responsibility, if i protested i would be severely punished, whether it was a punch or grounded for a ridiculous amount of time ( they didn't like me going out ) if on the very rare occasion i was at a friends house, i would be called to come back and do said chore and kept in after that

My brother on the other hand v different my SF didnt want him doing "womens" work and it was our job to look after them

Still cant stand the prick

This wasn’t my experience but certainly my mum’s (born mid-50s). Her brother was only 1.5 years younger but she was expected to do a lot of chores while he did nothing. Funnily enough they don’t really get on either.

I'm amazed at the lack of sex education and knowledge/poor management of menstruation on this thread.

I was born in 1960. I remember a film about the facts of life at primary school. My mother and grandma discussed menstruation (and the menopause). They both openly talked about contraception and how wonderful it was for all women and meant girls needn't get into "trouble". They were pleased about the abortion act and that there were choices for girls who had made a mistake.

All my friends discussed these things openly and they weren't taboo at all. A few girls had mother's who were iffy about tampons and we, their friends, sympathised.

My headmistress was a former missionary and deeply religious. As we moved up the school she took us for a pastoral/re lesson weekly (we didn't do it for RE). She shared so many stories about how in China you knew if someone you worked with was in trouble because her "rags" weren't pegged out and she went away for a period. Tales about former pupils who had difficult lives due to one mistake and how such mistakes could be avoided and she didn't want to see us suffer when we had choices. I'm sure she must have been very discreet because I don't remember any parents ever complaining.

At 16 most of my friends knew where the family planning clinic was and we talked lots about things like equality for women, etc.

I am surprised at how repressed some of your parents were, particularly as some are my age or younger than me.