Does anyone feel just a bit awkward about doing some every day things?

[Pyri]

I am a successful, confident woman in every day life. So why do I feel like such a prize idiot doing normal things like:

• taking stuff back to the tiny post office counter that’s in the corner shop, I feel weirdly guilty about doing ASOS returns there without buying anything
• taking my car to a car wash, feeling like I’m going to prang it going around corners then feeling a bit awkward not knowing when to tell them I only want the outside doing / not sure where to look when they’re buffing the windscreen / wondering if I’ll run over their toes when pulling forward
• literally anything to do with conversing with workmen

WHY?!! Does anyone else manage perfectly in real life but feel just a bit awkward with these minor interactions?

@bethabean everyone knows you pretend to get an urgent phone call or text, sigh dramatically and turn around in that case

OMG! I've found my people!

I hate social events, I run out of small talk very quickly so whoever I'm talking to sees someone more interesting across the room and I'm left on my own looking awkward in full view of everyone. I usually end up doing the washing up so I don't look like the socially inept person that I am.

@bethabean

Oh and walking somewhere in public, realising you've forgotten something or gone the wrong way and having to turn around. I always end up doing an awkward swivel

Eurgh this reminds me of one of the most cringiest things I've ever done.

There were workmen working on the road just outside my house. I needed to go out so briskly walked to my car, got in, then realised I'd got in the passenger side but I was on my own 😳

I'm so used to DH driving my brain just decided to fuck with me in that moment and forget DH wasn't actually there.

So now I'm sat in the passenger side - on my own - like a plum, with workmen watching.

I pretended to root about in the glove box (my car didn't have a glovebox 🤦🏻‍♀️) and did an exaggerated sigh when I couldn't find the pretend thing I was looking for.

Had to do the walk of shame back to the house and didn't do my errand until they'd left!

I wonder if awkwardness is a cultural phenomenon of the British? There seems to be such a lack of confidence in these descriptions of every day interactions, it’s a shame really.

I go out when my cleaner comes. Im always worrying that she thinks I'm really lazy and doesn't work. (I work shifts) She is always chatting to her friends on the phone on her own language and I worry she's saying what a shit out my house is! (It's not)

@BiscuitLover3678

Yes to the cleaner! I feel like she’s judging me for not cleaning.

That's what o was trying to say!

I'm fine making phone calls and talking to a human being. What I absolutely hate is leaving a message on a company's answerphone.

I invariably ramble on inanely and wish I could start again. Or put the phone down and realise I haven't actually said who I am and what my contact number is. As we have call barring, they won't be able to pick up my details. So I then have to call back and leave another message to say sorry type idiot on the previous message was me, and I forgot to give you my details, here they are etc. Criiiinge. Guaranteed to cock up every time!

Oh god I suffer from all of these! I tend to have a bizarre habit of narrating my life out loud when doing things so draw even more attention to myself!

I’ll add paying for anything with change to the list, it’s money, it’s allowed, but it’s so embarrassing! I have to do that “phew I’m a bit lighter now!” Routine every time!

OP, are you British?

@SouthOfFrance

This thread is an eye opener! Some of these I can half understand but the one about being next to a car in traffic lights has really made me chuckle, wtf?! Next time I'm stuck in traffic lights I'm going to see if the person next to me is awkwardly checking their sat nav

I’d sit trying to catch their eye and smile the entire time

@Wowcherarestalkingme

Paying for a coffee and then having to stand to the side while they make it. So awkward. Don’t know what to do with my hands.

I never know what to do with my hands, ever.

I try to always make sure I have pockets to put them in, particularly in work (I'm not customer/facing) if i ever need to speak to someone while standing. If I ever find myself with no pockets, I think I sort of end up holding my thumbs and cursing myself

@ThatsALotOfPassionfruit

I saw your title and was going to say the car wash! I hate it. Although I basically hate anywhere that doesn’t tell you what to do but assumes you know, see also: Covid test centres and anywhere that needs a ticket to get in

Absolutely this. If there's a specific process to follow, it should be make completely clear to people who've never been there before.

I don't care what the process is, but I hate it when I have to guess, then the person working there kind of hints that I guessed wrong, but at the same time tells me not to worry about it. Either don't tell me, or tell me and ask me to follow the process!

It reminds me of a post I saw on here a couple of days ago when someone wasn't sure if the mini bar in a hotel room was free. Businesses shouldn't expect their customers to be mind readers

When we used to have two cars, OH would take me to the garage to collect mine after any work done. I would always forget that the mechanic has very short legs and would pull the seat right forward : every time I would try and get in the car and be unable to fit behind the wheel, have to withdraw, pull the seat right back and get in again. Why, when it was so mortifying, did I never remember?

Luckily we have finally got a really nice window cleaner: no more flattening myself behind the wardrobe/almost arriving home and driving off to hide/keeping all blinds shut for several days when he was due.

Absolutely ridiculous, I’m a professional woman who’s had a great career and things like giving a presentation or off the cuff talk to a large roomful of people do not faze me at all.

I never know what to do with myself when the window cleaner comes. He has two lads that work with him so there are men at so many windows. I often sit half way up the stairs or in the loo are those are places I can't be seen by them. I feel so awkward being seen drinking a cup of tea and working on my laptop!

There is a job currently advertised that I would love to apply for. It would be a promotion in a really interesting organisation. I can't apply though as the boss is someone who used to take her kids to the same swimming lessons as mine. She is an absolutely lovely woman who I had some great chats with when we first started taking our kids to the lessons. Then though, she started turning up at a couple of training courses and events I was at through work. After that I found the swimming lesson conversation s so awkward. For some reason I couldn't cope with her swing me in both work mode and in early Saturday morning home mode. I used to sit somewhere there was no space beside me to avoid talking to her and then ended up having to change swimming pools to avoid her. She really must think I am the weirdest person!

I also hate conversing with workmen! I find if so hard I feel like an idiot every time. I try and get DP to deal with them when he is in but I find they normally want me to sign off on anything he has said anyway! I do wonder if lots of people find it awkward though, my dad, brother and partner all put on a “talking to workman voice” which is hilarious and embarrassing in equal measure. It is the only time I ever hear my dad refer to anyone as “mate”

Also on the same topic knowing what to do with yourself when someone is in the house doing work. We are having something done this morning and I am considering going to the gym for the first time this year just to not have to deal with it

I used to feel the same about many of these, I've had similarly cringeworthy escapades haha but now I'm older and more curmudgeonly I'm not bothered!

So maybe don't despair too much - there is hope yet!
(Although bizarrely the car wash thing and training course awkwardness are still there )

I hate going to DS's school for any reason. It has a long driveway so when I'm walking in or out I always feel like I'm being watched and I suddenly forget how to walk.
On parents evening they insisted on doing video calls. Nine long, awkward minutes of not knowing where to look on screen and seeing my red, flustered face looking uncomfortable next to her perfectly normal one and us both accidentally talking across each other and apologising.

@mallees

OP, are you British?

Yea, I’m the most British person ever

For those who don’t understand - it’s not a really really toe curling embarrassment that stops me doing anything, it’s a very mild quite British internal cringe

The worst for me is when you know someone vaguely but not really well enough to chat to much and you meet them accidentally when out.. ok woth the greeting and 30 sec small talk but them you turn to leave and they are going the same way as you! Or getting the same train bus or going to the same cafe etc . Excruciating.. What do you do? .. you dont want to walk with them or to have to sit with them for the whole journey .. but what do you do.. ? I just say something like ' well nice seeing you' and hope that they dont want to sit with me either! In a worse case I may even get the next train but you cant always do that..

@Silverswirl

Gosh this is so interesting. I don’t really fine any of these awkward or embarrassing!? I think many of these that you describe come from low self esteem, from not feeling worthy, low confidence in yourself and not wanting to bother other people. I love going to the hairdresser - it’s a treat! And enjoy making small talk if someone in a shop / post office recognises me. I like it if someone stops to let me cross the road because it makes me think that yes, there are nice people left in the world! Don’t care about zebra crossings - makes me grateful that in the UK people actually stop. It was more annoying when I went to Spain last and I stood there at a zebra crossing with my kids and no one stopped what so ever. May as well not have been there! Trades people I do find annoying and awkward. But that’s mainly as we are in each other’s way or I don’t feel I can just sit there or j don’t feel like making conversation. The window cleaner I just get on with whatever I’m doing or I have a cup of tea and look at my phone in the normal room I would!? I’m not keen on taking the car to the garage I must admit becuse I feel most garages are men only environments and I often don’t feel comfortable.

I think many of these that you describe come from low self esteem, from not feeling worthy, low confidence in yourself and not wanting to bother other people.

I can assure you, I absolutely do not have low self esteem and don’t have an issue with “feeling worthy”! It’s just a low level awkward embarrassment

Yay, I have found my (awkward) people. Another vote here for the hairdresser. I really begrudge spending time and money on something I find so uncomfortable, my current hairdresser is lovely but the small talk and being in my personal space, ugh!

This might be the most British thread I've ever read 😂
I agree with so many but especially the cleaner and the dentist. It's so weird when the dentist asks you something but you clearly can't answer, so do you try and answer and it's illegible or not answer and appear rude? So confusing and awkward.

And getting nails done. I had mine done by someone very young recently and I couldn't thing of a single thing to say because we have nothing in common. Usually I'm quite good at inane chat.