Does anyone feel just a bit awkward about doing some every day things?

[Pyri]

I am a successful, confident woman in every day life. So why do I feel like such a prize idiot doing normal things like:

• taking stuff back to the tiny post office counter that’s in the corner shop, I feel weirdly guilty about doing ASOS returns there without buying anything
• taking my car to a car wash, feeling like I’m going to prang it going around corners then feeling a bit awkward not knowing when to tell them I only want the outside doing / not sure where to look when they’re buffing the windscreen / wondering if I’ll run over their toes when pulling forward
• literally anything to do with conversing with workmen

WHY?!! Does anyone else manage perfectly in real life but feel just a bit awkward with these minor interactions?

I’m generally ok on a personal level, little bothers me (except the guilty feeling with the cleaner and not knowing how to chat with hairdressers) My awkwards are working related. Coming in after new year and having to do the whole hand shaking happy new year, then some of the guys think it’s ok to do the cheek kissing thing.🤢 I hate shaking hands generally and that’s not a good aversion to have when you are at meetings all the time. Conferences or training courses where I don’t know anyone. Once it kicks off I’m fine and will join in and speak up no problem but that tea/coffee/registration bit at the start, I hate that. I don’t want to turn up too late but standing around awkwardly when everyone is in groups chatting. I don’t want to be looking at my phone as that’s stand offish but also, don’t want to go up and start chatting to people. Then the trainer spots you and comes over to chat and you look like the teacher’s pet. Hate it!

Or a meeting where I haven’t met anyone yet, or am standing in for someone. I get there in plenty time but they’re all sitting chatting, am I in the right room? Do they know I’m coming? I’m usually the only woman so I’m sure they think I’m there to take the tea order.

I did once sit in a meeting for 15 minutes before I realised I was in the wrong room. Nobody said a thing. I didn’t know what to do. I pretended I had a phone call and walked out apologising and never went back.

I don't understand the car wash thing? Every car wash I've been to you leave the car and keys with them and either wait in their little reception area or go to the shops nearby as the car wash is usually near or in a big supermarket etc. I've never seen a human operated car wash where one stays inside

I sometimes take the bins in for the neighbours and vice versa. One day I was wfh at the desk in the living room and they walked right across the window with our bin. I felt so awkward watching them bring our bin in I had to go and thank them
The window cleaner one is awkward as heck. And when the neighbours the other side are getting in their car ans I'm sat on the sofa reading in my pj's at lunchtime on a weekend

Omg @BoredZelda the happy new year thing at work is excruciating.

Also forgot about tipping the hairdresser - so awkward

@hamsterchump

I hate getting anything done on the car: tyres, MOT, work done, anything. OH doesn't drive yet so I always have to do it and I feel such an idiot and always seem to say the wrong thing. Plus they often want you to pull up in some tiny, tight, awkward gap somewhere amongst cars and heaps of tyres or tools or assorted crap everywhere and the pressure makes me a worse driver and I end up taking a few attempts to get it positioned right etc which is embarrassing.

Once the garage parked the car in a gap so tight I could just barely drive out of it and get past their bins! It was awful, I thought I was going to have to get out and move the bins in front of them all to get the car out but I just about managed it with a million point turn.

Now I arrive early and park in their carpark over the road and give them the keys to squeeze the car in but sometimes still have to ask them to reverse the car off the pit for me. Is that normal, do you all drive your car over the pit and reverse it off again when you get an MOT? I don't know if my garage is weird (it's the one my dad and brother use), are there nice, friendly, spacious garages with good parking or is it always awkward?

I am normally a fine, competent driver but there's something about them all watching (and obviously judging) that makes it so much harder and I cringe through it and dread it every year.

Never! I turn up, park where I can, give the keys and go. To collect, I asses the situation and 9/10 times I ask them very nicely to get the car out for me. Authorised Dealership service/MOT centres usually have good parking but are more expensive. DH's cars, over the years, somehow he would get the garage to collect and deliver the car at home. Now that would make me feel awkward.

I went to my company's Christmas party a few years ago at a hotel and was in the wrong room gatecrashing another party for nearly half an hour. I did think it was a bit strange that I didn't recognise anyone.

the happy new year thing at work is excruciating.

Isn't it, @ADHDkillingme!

And when do you stop? If you have a meeting the first week back do you say it to everyone? What about the second week back? When are you allowed not to say it??

Oh my, I thought I was the only one but can relate to so many of these.
Bizarrely, I was nervous about dropping some things off to the charity shop a few weeks ago. What if they look at it and think it’s just trash I’ve donated. Plus I don’t want to burden them with too much to sort but it’s their job?! And they need donations?!

Also walking into an unknown pub/restaurant and not knowing whether to choose my own table or wait to be seated. The stress haha!

@TheVolturi

I absolutely hate being at the traffic lights with another car beside me. I do not know what to do with myself. I pretend I'm busy with the sat nav usually!

Oh I love this. I'm basically on the grid in my head!

[quote ilovesooty]@MichaelAndEagle I just get on with whatever I've planned to do anyway while the cleaner is there. I usually find things to do downstairs while she's upstairs and vice versa. I don't get under her feet in the same room.

I've been going to the same hairdresser for over 30 years as well, and know all her family. I am lucky evidently.[/quote]
But what if what you'd planned to do was not really do anything like watch TV or look at your phone or have a cup of tea? Would you be just as happy doing that in full view of the cleaner as working from home or filing or something more justifiable?

I suppose it's feeling you'll probably be judged and worrying about what people think and often assuming they'll think the worst like "gosh look at her on the sofa, eating crisps while I'm cleaning up her shit, that's probably all she does, lazy cow". Would you just never worry about the cleaner thinking something like this?

Do you ever worry about what people think? I spend much of my time thinking about what other people think (not always worrying but thinking definitely) does everyone not do that?

All these - all of them - are making me think, "Huh? What? How could anyone be worried by that???" But this one -

I hate getting anything done on the car: tyres, MOT, work done, anything. OH doesn't drive yet so I always have to do it and I feel such an idiot and always seem to say the wrong thing. Plus they often want you to pull up in some tiny, tight, awkward gap somewhere amongst cars and heaps of tyres or tools or assorted crap everywhere and the pressure makes me a worse driver and I end up taking a few attempts to get it positioned right etc which is embarrassing

• yes, I've got this. I've got extreme garage anxiety, and an awkward garage, like the pp's above. Why the hell am I totally unaffected by all these little things on this thread, but I have got massive garage anxiety?

@Champagneforeveryone

My hairdresser only works two days a week, useful as the idea of speaking to him fills me with the utmost horror. I therefore always call for an appointment when I know he won't be there.

Oddly I have no issues making conversation with him in person, or speaking to one of the other staff members on the phone.

Sometimes I forget to call on one of his days off and am then forced to wait until the following week

😂😂 this really made me laugh because I would do the same!

@doona

I find the school run excruciating. I walk past the head teacher every day and quietly nod, smile and whisper hi like an utter psychopath then try and make my non verbal toddler chat to me so the headteacher doesn't try to talk in case he gives me into trouble. Not even sure what for. Then I'm super anxious that the class teacher is going to make me stay behind and answer a question

Recently took me an hour to work up the courage to call my little boy in to school sick bec.use I wasn't sure they would believe me. He had covid.

Now I walk home and someone I would say hi to but not super close to walks the same way home. Yesterday I challenged my DS to a race up the 30 plus concrete stairs so we don't have to walk together.

@hamsterchump since the cleaner comes on my day off I'm invariably watching TV, reading, on my phone or having a coffee while she's cleaning, at least for some of the time. I don't feel any need to look as though I'm doing something important when I'm not.

Gosh this is so interesting.
I don’t really fine any of these awkward or embarrassing!? I think many of these that you describe come from low self esteem, from not feeling worthy, low confidence in yourself and not wanting to bother other people.
I love going to the hairdresser - it’s a treat! And enjoy making small talk if someone in a shop / post office recognises me.
I like it if someone stops to let me cross the road because it makes me think that yes, there are nice people left in the world!
Don’t care about zebra crossings - makes me grateful that in the UK people actually stop. It was more annoying when I went to Spain last and I stood there at a zebra crossing with my kids and no one stopped what so ever. May as well not have been there!
Trades people I do find annoying and awkward. But that’s mainly as we are in each other’s way or I don’t feel I can just sit there or j don’t feel like making conversation.
The window cleaner I just get on with whatever I’m doing or I have a cup of tea and look at my phone in the normal room I would!?
I’m not keen on taking the car to the garage I must admit becuse I feel most garages are men only environments and I often don’t feel comfortable.

@Silverswirl

Gosh this is so interesting. I don’t really fine any of these awkward or embarrassing!? I think many of these that you describe come from low self esteem, from not feeling worthy, low confidence in yourself and not wanting to bother other people. I love going to the hairdresser - it’s a treat! And enjoy making small talk if someone in a shop / post office recognises me. I like it if someone stops to let me cross the road because it makes me think that yes, there are nice people left in the world! Don’t care about zebra crossings - makes me grateful that in the UK people actually stop. It was more annoying when I went to Spain last and I stood there at a zebra crossing with my kids and no one stopped what so ever. May as well not have been there! Trades people I do find annoying and awkward. But that’s mainly as we are in each other’s way or I don’t feel I can just sit there or j don’t feel like making conversation. The window cleaner I just get on with whatever I’m doing or I have a cup of tea and look at my phone in the normal room I would!? I’m not keen on taking the car to the garage I must admit becuse I feel most garages are men only environments and I often don’t feel comfortable.

Well that's cheered us all up...

Funny thread, I can relate to most of these, except the two cars at the lights thing.

My worst one is well discussed, seeing someone you know at the supermarket. Initially it's fine, you say hi, then but you see them again and again in every aisle. I just leave straight away to avoid this, then you usually see them at the check out having had the same idea.

I had the worst version of this late one night when I had a junk food craving, and went to the supermarket. I had biscuits in my basket and was about to add a few packets of chocolate when a colleague came up and said hi. I was too embarrassed to complete my haul so I just scurried out of there.

Have had a fear of window cleaners since I was a kid, I’m just minding my own business and there’s a guy cleaning the window, he can see me, I can see him it makes me feel so uncomfortable I have to hide until he’s done

My favourite one ever was a mate of mine who went into a new coffee shop with the coffee machine at the back of the cafe. All of the other customers were sitting down, so he assumed it was table service, took a seat & waited. And waited. After about 15 minutes, no one had come over to his table to take his order, but he wasn't sure how busy they were. So he sat & fiddled with his phone for a bit. At 25 minutes in, someone more familiar with the set up came in, ordered at the counter, took a table, coffee served within three minutes.

Friend realised he could not now get up & order at the counter, because it would be too awful. As he got up to leave the member of staff called out 'Have a lovely day! See you again soon!' and friend replied 'Yes! Thanks!'

Then he went outside & collapsed in puddle of cold sweat because he had inadvertently got something wrong in public.

Most of these make me cringe too - especially small talk with hairdressers, and just standing there like a lump filling the car up - but just to say to a PP who said she can't relax in the garden - me too, everywhere I've ever lived. I'm just so accutely aware that someone could see me, or that people are just the other side of the fence a few feet away and can hear every thing I say or do. We have lived in latest house 2 years and our fences are only 3 foot - I have to force myself outside sometimes. It's absolutely ridiculous, I know I should just enjoy my garden, but it's just so excruciating for no good reason!

Oh god the car wash. It's the way they foam you all up and then slowly reveal you as they wash it off! And your just sitting there. My local one cleans like the footstep of the door, so they have to open the door. And your just sitting there with the door open, going thanks, cheers, thankyou, great over and over again.

The cleaner as well, I have to leave the house. She coincides a lot with my day off and I want to say I promise I do work! I feel I should offer to help or something. Sometimes I do nightshifts and that's real awkwardness because I need to be sleeping but I can't just be asleep while she cleans. What do you do?

Hairdressers I'm okay with the first few times, but once I've been 4 or so times I get realy stressed about having to maintain the image that I am the type of person able to make small talk with my hairdresser

Getting a delivery if the courier has already delivered to me that week, even worse if it was yesterday. Will they judge me for getting so many parcels?

I recently saw my DPD driver when I was out for a walk and said hi and he said "you're far from home" and now I worry he thinks I just sit in the house and get stuff delivered all the time I mean I am usually always at home when he delivers because I'm expecting a delivery... so it might look like that. But I do actually step outside the front door on a regular basis. 😂

Getting a grocery shop with no bags. Have to unload while the driver just looks at me trying to pick up 27 different random items knowing there’s 6 crates to do 😭

Ordering at the drive thru
Especially ones with a very obvious camera like Starbucks I always wonder if they're watching and never know where to look

The car wash. Where do you look when they're cleaning? And the fear of running them over or not knowing if you can drive over the hose pipe

Walking down a high street - awkward

Taking the cat to the vets. Do you stand when they're checking over the cat? Sit down?

When the cleaners come. I hide in my bedroom pretending I'm not there

When the delivery man has to take a picture of you at the door. Where do I look? Shall I smile? Are you judging my socks?

Ordering a drink at a bar and standing there whilst they make it

Oh and walking somewhere in public, realising you've forgotten something or gone the wrong way and having to turn around. I always end up doing an awkward swivel