Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Does anyone feel just a bit awkward about doing some every day things?

268 replies

Pyri · 04/02/2022 16:31

I am a successful, confident woman in every day life. So why do I feel like such a prize idiot doing normal things like:

  • taking stuff back to the tiny post office counter that’s in the corner shop, I feel weirdly guilty about doing ASOS returns there without buying anything
  • taking my car to a car wash, feeling like I’m going to prang it going around corners then feeling a bit awkward not knowing when to tell them I only want the outside doing / not sure where to look when they’re buffing the windscreen / wondering if I’ll run over their toes when pulling forward
  • literally anything to do with conversing with workmen

WHY?!! Does anyone else manage perfectly in real life but feel just a bit awkward with these minor interactions?

OP posts:
Thecurtainsofdestiny · 04/02/2022 22:34

The window cleaner!

Yes. That time when they came when I'd been on nightshift. I was asleep in bed and woke up wondering what that noise was. Stumbled in my PJs across the room, opened curtains and found myself face to face with the window cleaner!

Hastily shut the curtains and pretended it hadn't happened.

Thefemininemystic · 04/02/2022 22:34

Eating alone in a restaurant. Speaking to my headmaster (I'm a teacher). Hairdressers. Post office. Car wash.

ilovesooty · 04/02/2022 22:34

@MichaelAndEagle I just get on with whatever I've planned to do anyway while the cleaner is there. I usually find things to do downstairs while she's upstairs and vice versa. I don't get under her feet in the same room.

I've been going to the same hairdresser for over 30 years as well, and know all her family. I am lucky evidently.

burnoutbabe · 04/02/2022 22:37

I usually go out when the cleaner comes, but if not, I just stay in my bedroom where I work/study anyway. Feels cringe if 2 of us are lurking in the bedroom, have to leave the door ajar so she knows we are not up to anything!

Luckily we are in a first floor flat so the window cleaner is just a mop on a long pole suddenly appearing at a window. No person.

Mothermorph · 04/02/2022 22:39

Getting in a lift with someone. Super awkward.
I always take the stairs if possible

Bloatstoat · 04/02/2022 22:41

@Jojibear

Gosh none of these things would even occur to me to be something to worry about/feel awkward about. I'm not saying that to sound smug but in genuine realisation that a lot of people feel like this day to day.

I often find people a little stand offish in everyday situations and while I am not loud or 'in your face' at all (actually quite quiet) I am friendly and smiley and often wonder why others are not, in what I consider to be normal situations. It's illuminating to think that some of the time people may be really struggling with something I wouldn't even think about. Very interesting thread.

This is absolutely me! Then I worry about how I've come across, and feel worse. I had a situation this morning where a school mum said hello to me - I'm sure I came across really badly so when I saw her at pickup I went straight to her with a big smile and some carefully prepared small talk, which I'm sure made it worse, just wanted to sink into the ground by the end of it Blush
billybear · 04/02/2022 22:43

hand car wash i really struggle going,i put it off for ages.reversing a car out of space at supermarket with someone in next car.i check my phone for a while see if they go first its mad.work men in house make a list and do you hover in room with them or leave them to it,feel silly glad its not just me.phone calls have to force myself to do it, forget live chat option thats worse, i get the muppet from hell. when i have to explain the simply thing 4 times and they still dont get me,i get angry and worked up, they say how was it for you and you have to mark them in a survey,

Opus17 · 04/02/2022 22:44

Answering the door to deliveries! Whenever we order in, DH has to open the door 😬

RagzRebooted · 04/02/2022 22:48

Loving this thread. Everyone I know thinks I'm really confident. I'm faking.
Was talking to colleagues about the car wash anxiety the other day. One of them totally got it, the other one wasn't at all bothered. I hate it, having a load of men running around grinning (or scowling!) at my through the window. Where do you look?!
Ditto phonecalls (but fine at work!) and crossing roads while scuttling across and waving.
I once won a spring clean cleaning session in a raffle and never used it because I felt too awkward and embarrassed.

mistermagpie · 04/02/2022 22:53

This thread is funny, I think I've found my people! One from just this morning - I had to walk to the shops, but there were loads of workmen doing work digging up the pavement. Busy road so I had to say excuse me and get them all to move so I could pass.

That was all fine but then I had to do the same thing from the opposite direction coming back with my shopping. I've got no idea why, but I felt really embarrassed to be doing it a second time and like somehow they would all know I'd been shopping, which obviously they would and why on earth would they care?!? Such a pointless waste of anxiety...

I regular one is I always feel awkward when I've parked the car if anyone sees me get out and walk away from it. Somehow I always feel like I've done something wrong!

Mediocrates · 04/02/2022 22:54

It's so weird - my job requires me to be quite outgoing and assertive (think adult learning), and professionally I'm a confident and competent person.

Personally? I'm a wreck BlushPhone calls? No thanks. Walking into a supermarket on my own? I'd really rather not. Navigating school gate socialisation and polite chit chat? That's a big nope. Collecting parcels from (lovely) neighbours? I send my children.

Troublesmith · 04/02/2022 22:54

I had a difficult upbringing. Fortunately had strong relatives. Strong grandmothers on both sides, strong mother. Was mortified pre teen when they called out the fruit and veg stall for overcharging or the bus conductor being rude, argued with the bank, disagreed with the doctors, fought the solicitor, but they were all right. They all told me to talk to others as I expected to be treated. Excellent advice, I do exactly that. Be very polite and straightforward. My grandad used to say when you are young you care what people think of you. When you are older others should be concerned what you think of them. He was right. You should always stand up for yourself.

goingback · 04/02/2022 23:06

@Nohypocrate

Do we think this is just a female thing or do men feel the same I wonder? I think if I sent my husband to the shop for Tampax he might feel a bit awkward.
OH organises trades for when he will be out , feels he is being judged for having to get another man to do a job in the house he has no problem going to a shop and only buying Tampax Procrastination is my go to, have to keep telling myself to "Eat The Frog"
PenguinIce · 04/02/2022 23:06

I find going to new cafes/restaurants a minefield. Not knowing if its table service or if you order at the counter. Do I just grab a table or wait to be seated by staff. Would like a full set of instructions I could read before I enter so I know what to do.

WOMENnotGIRLS · 04/02/2022 23:09

@Confusedandworried321

My new cleaner started today (haven’t had a cleaner in years) and I work from home, it was the most awkward 2 hours of my life.
Haha, 2 hours my arse! (or he's shite and needs sacking)
WOMENnotGIRLS · 04/02/2022 23:13

Whoops, I thought I heard 'window cleaner' and sorry

(and thought what a sneaky little brag that was)

Pegasushaswings · 04/02/2022 23:14

@PinkSyCo

I hate it when drivers ‘kindly’ stop to let me cross the road. “No thank you, it’s very nice of you and all but I’d much rather wait here until the road is clear than have you sit and watch me giving you an awkward wave whilst I pretend hurry across.” Also hate when the hairdresser shows me the back of my hair and you have to comment on how good it looks. Awkward.
What do you think of the new Highway Code then? 😬
BoredZelda · 04/02/2022 23:15

I don't understand how people can have cleaners in their homes when they are there, what do you do while they're doing it?

I work from home so I’m usually in my wee office, but even if I’m off on a day she’s here I’ll put my computer on and go and sit there and do something when she does downstairs.

Haha, 2 hours my arse! (or he's shite and needs sacking)

My cleaners does 2 hours, she’s really good 🤷‍♀️

Justleaveitblankthen · 04/02/2022 23:19

@Bedsheets4knickers

When the window cleaner comes 🤣 I spend the time hiding in other rooms . It's like playing musical rooms .
This made me laugh 😅 I do exactly the same. It's even worse if you are still in bed when you hear his ladders prop against your outside window..and realise you left a small, but highly visible, chink in the curtains.. Can you quickly get to it before he climbs? What if he spotted it already? Then he will know you are definitely still in bed 🙈
buddylicious · 04/02/2022 23:21

I took my car in to the garage for an MOT so had to get the bus into work.

I haven't been on a bus for years. It was horrendous! Do you still put your hand out to get the bus to stop? If not, will the bus see me and stop automatically? Do I ring the bell when I want to get off? How long in advance do I ring the bell?

ADHDkillingme · 04/02/2022 23:21

@Bloatstoat your story made me laugh. I am exactly like this. So fucking awkward with people especially school mums for some reason. I just want to be invisible all of the time!!!

Momof3soontobe4 · 04/02/2022 23:22

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down now.

Booboobibles · 04/02/2022 23:26

I don’t understand all this driving into garages business. I drive into the tyre place but it’s quite a big area and not usually busy. Everywhere else, I’ve just parked outside in the car park, gone into reception and given them my keys then collected the car from the car park. I’m now wondering whether I’m doing something wrong!

Also never known a car wash where I’ve had to stay inside the car…

Ginger1982 · 04/02/2022 23:28

@Booboobibles

I don’t understand all this driving into garages business. I drive into the tyre place but it’s quite a big area and not usually busy. Everywhere else, I’ve just parked outside in the car park, gone into reception and given them my keys then collected the car from the car park. I’m now wondering whether I’m doing something wrong!

Also never known a car wash where I’ve had to stay inside the car…

Really? Most hand car washes I've been to you stay inside unless you're getting it valeted. I think I'd feel more awkward standing on the forecourt!
burnoutbabe · 04/02/2022 23:28

Oh I have another one.

We do SmartShop in our big saibsburies,scanning as you go then going out via a special till where you pay etc.

But I did it in my local one last week. On my phone and at the end you just walk out as payment also by phone /Apple Pay.

Of course I got stopped by security. And had to speak to the manager to explain.

I am never using that service in a local store again. Just set up to cause awkwardness!