Valentine's Day gift hell and heaven this year?

[HQPlanning]

Hello Mumsnetters!

We've got a debate going over here at MNHQ... essentially it's... what's your idea of a Valentine's Day gift from hell and a Valentine's Day gift from heaven?

We'll go first...

Valentine's Day HELL = a meal on the day - nothing worse than a set menu in a restaurant filled with other couples mooning over each other.

Valentine's Day HEAVEN = massage, facial, spa day... anything! I want to be shut in a room with pinkly plonky music and no sign of a laptop or phone anywhere near me.

We can't wait to hear yours.....

Hell- pretty much everything
Heaven- a hand written card from my husband. He's dyslexic and just writing a card takes him 20 minutes. So obviously he doesn't write them often and only to the most important people. He can't spell my name but getting a card from him means the world.

Don’t really do Valentine’s Day..
But I also don’t do being ungrateful for anything I’m given. People would give anything to have some of these “hells”

Anonymous - okay any nice weeknight in the latter half of March because winter menus rely on low stock frozen foods or stuff that's not in season and weekends are busy. Mid Feb is dull and dark and stormy and the menus slant toward comfort & stodge. On a milder spring evening, it stays lighter later in the evening, more fresh seasonal food is available, the view out the window is probably better. I live in a low population tourist area where the really good restaurants close in January for a rest and revamp, the staff need a break and come back refreshed around late Feb/March. So I have good reasons for how I carefully choose simple but luxurious pleasures.
Also I'm poor - I'm not spending on something I know I won't enjoy and regret wasting money on.
Hope that gives you some insight.

Aww so many grumpy people!
I love valentines day! Any excuse to ditch the kids with my mum and go on a date is awesome
Heaven: anything really. I dont care if its a card and a homecooked meal/take away just the 2 of us or very expensive jewellery/trip etc.
Its the thought that counts and im very happy with whatever we can afford at that moment.

Hell: if he forgot it and got me nothing.

And people always say they dont need a special day to do something nice for their partner. But honestly thats usually the people who dont do/buy anything for their partners on non special days either.

@MenaiMna

Anonymous - okay any nice weeknight in the latter half of March because winter menus rely on low stock frozen foods or stuff that's not in season and weekends are busy. Mid Feb is dull and dark and stormy and the menus slant toward comfort & stodge. On a milder spring evening, it stays lighter later in the evening, more fresh seasonal food is available, the view out the window is probably better. I live in a low population tourist area where the really good restaurants close in January for a rest and revamp, the staff need a break and come back refreshed around late Feb/March. So I have good reasons for how I carefully choose simple but luxurious pleasures. Also I'm poor - I'm not spending on something I know I won't enjoy and regret wasting money on. Hope that gives you some insight.

That absolutely gives me some insight! Thank you very much for the explanation.

I live somewhere warm, so the weather in mid February is usually perfect here anyway. Many of the restaurants where we live don't change their menus seasonally much. For those that do, there is lots of fresh produce available at this time of year (more so than in the middle of the summer probably) so that's also not an issue.

The only issue for us as far as going out to eat on Valentine's Day itself is that restaurants are busy so you have to make a reservation in plenty of time. We started planning a couple of weeks ago and some of our favorites were already all booked up. But we were able to make a reservation at one of our favorites, and we are looking forward to spoiling ourselves and enjoying a lovely evening together.

@RaskolnikovsGarret

Hell - nothing really, we are just too old for it now, and I wouldn’t like the busyness/overpriced nature of a meal on the day. But my 19 and 21 yo DDs will definitely do something with their BFs, and that’s great. We used to celebrate it decades ago.

Heaven - I am having a dreadful time at work with being disciplined for MH issues, so we have decided to go away overnight this week (less busy) to…Newcastle. I’ve always wanted to go as it seems like a great city and (generalisation, sorry) all the people I have met from there have been very lovely. So looking forward to that before I’m sacked.

I will be taking a coat though.

(Sorry for changing the tone!)

Have a lovely time! I'm a Newcastle girl and I agree, we are all very lovely!

@ShallWeTalkAboutBruno

I don't understand. Why would this hypothetical meal in this hypothetical restaurant be any different on March 14 than it would be on February 14?

Because in general, restaurants tend to offer a set menu/reduced offering for Valentine’s Day. They know they’ll be busy so it’s catering for the masses. This won’t be the case on March 14th (or other dates).

Is that a British thing? Where I live in the US restaurants will all have their usual menus. Occasionally there will be specials in addition because of the day, but there certainly wouldn't be a set menu (unless it's a restaurant that always does that) or any reduced offerings. If that was the case where we lived, we would probably also avoid going out that night!

@Mylittlepixie

Aww so many grumpy people! I love valentines day! Any excuse to ditch the kids with my mum and go on a date is awesome Heaven: anything really. I dont care if its a card and a homecooked meal/take away just the 2 of us or very expensive jewellery/trip etc. Its the thought that counts and im very happy with whatever we can afford at that moment.

Hell: if he forgot it and got me nothing.

And people always say they dont need a special day to do something nice for their partner. But honestly thats usually the people who dont do/buy anything for their partners on non special days either.

That’s not my experience. We don’t do Valentine’s Day bar a card. We do however make a big deal over birthdays and our wedding anniversary, and treat each other throughout the year. Same with most of my close friends I think.

Hell : Any soft toy from a supermarket with a heart on it.
Heaven : Night away at a swanky hotel, chocolates, flowers, champagne, new underwear.

Can't get past the fact I thought it said "Valentine's Day HELL = a meal on the day - nothing worse than a set menu in a restaurant filled with other couples MOOING over each other."

I didn’t use to be into Valentine’s Day, same as New Year’s Eve. Then about 8 years ago I changed and I now I loved Valentine’s
Day. It is really close to my birthday so we usually go away for a European five star city break. I enjoy the special meals they lay on and time in a spa. One year we were in Prague and it was really sunny and we had an amazing lunch near the monastery with beautiful views, then strolled down to our hotel and had a massage each and then a fabulous dinner. It really was a magical day.
I feel like I’m getting more out of my life celebrating these days whereas I used to not be bothered by them or bother to do anything nice.

Hell meal out. But not just because of the set menu. But the faff of childcare etc is such a work up. I'd sooner have a take away when they're in bed.

Heaven. Chocolate like any other day of the year. I'm easily pleased

@CrimbleCrumble1

I didn’t use to be into Valentine’s Day, same as New Year’s Eve. Then about 8 years ago I changed and I now I loved Valentine’s Day. It is really close to my birthday so we usually go away for a European five star city break. I enjoy the special meals they lay on and time in a spa. One year we were in Prague and it was really sunny and we had an amazing lunch near the monastery with beautiful views, then strolled down to our hotel and had a massage each and then a fabulous dinner. It really was a magical day. I feel like I’m getting more out of my life celebrating these days whereas I used to not be bothered by them or bother to do anything nice.

I’d probably love it if we could afford a 5 star city break too

Heaven: a full nights sleep

Hell: doing something public, like a meal or special valentine event.

Grandma is visiting valentines weekend, so we’ve booked in a nap if our daughter will settle for her 🤞🏽

Gift from kids father who I live with but separated from - hell but I have a feeling he'll buy something "from the kids" 🤮

Gift from fwb (potentially more) can't wait he treats me like a princess 👑 always buys nice things

But yeah I don't want overpriced flowers or a meal in a restaurant where every other table I want to shout "get a room"!

@Simonjt

Heaven: a full nights sleep

Hell: doing something public, like a meal or special valentine event.

Grandma is visiting valentines weekend, so we’ve booked in a nap if our daughter will settle for her 🤞🏽

Really? You consider going out for a meal to be doing something "public"? When I go out to eat with my husband, whether it's on Valentine's Day or any other time, I don't consider it a public event. What a strange way to think about things!

Going out in public means getting dressed and looking presentable, that is not on our agenda right now!

Heaven:
A day out, not on Valentine's Day. This year we're going to an exhibition at the BM.

He'll: Agreed. A meal out on the day.

@Simonjt

Going out in public means getting dressed and looking presentable, that is not on our agenda right now!

Wow, OK. I tend to get dressed every day, even if I'm not going out.

We don't usually give each other presents on valentine's day, but in general:
Hell would be any typical present like flowers or chocolates, I would cringe and feel embarrassed. Oh yes, fancy underwear I would hate this too.
Heaven I guess something like a nice long walk in the countryside with a stop for a pub lunch.