Page 4 | Would you date a man who didn't eat any vegetables?

nansbigpants · 03/02/2022 16:17

How old is he OP? When I met my (now) DH he would not voluntarily eat any vegetables. It turned out his mum boils all vegetables to mush (and often buys tinned) and serves tiny portions that she eats because she knows she should rather than to enjoy them. So her grew up thinking vegetables = tasteless mush. For years he avoided veg even when he ate out and mainly chose very meat heavy meals. I'm vegetarian so when we got together he tried loads of vegetarian meals and discovered that actually he quite likes properly cooked and interesting veg. He's now been vegetarian for nearly 20 years. MIL still thinks I am trying to poison him and regularly complains that we undercook everything!

Divebar2021 · 03/02/2022 16:19

Well my DH and I share the cooking so if he never made anything with veg in that would be extremely limiting and extremely dull. Even a basic pasta sauce is onions tomatoes and garlic before the addition of everything else. I don’t want to have the responsibility of cooking for myself every night because someone else is a fussy eater.

DiddyHeck · 03/02/2022 16:20

[quote StrychnineIntheSandwiches]@DiddyHeck, if someone says 'I hate beetroot and carrots' that's one thing but a person who's decided they dislike all vegetables? Maybe a food phobia that they might want to get help with, or maybe they're just a bit infantile and scared to try new things. Either way, a serious turn off.[/quote]
But how is it any more of a turn off than people who are constantly dieting? Eating with someone else who is on a diet is exactly the same thing. It's fussy eating but just for a different reason. Why is one reason more acceptable than the other?

I honestly didn't know people felt like this about what others choose to put in their mouths.

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 03/02/2022 16:21

Yes. I'm not a complete control freak and I can't see how it would effect me? Unless by not eat vegetables you mean slaps it out of my hand everytime I try, or refuses to have it near the house. Weird.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/02/2022 16:21

No. I’m vegetarian and can’t see it working at all. My sister dated one of these for a decade and she found it massively annoying and obstructive. He looked healthy enough, gym bunny and a nice tan but knowing his diet he must have been dying on the inside. The man she married is twice the cook she is and she’s pretty good, he’s great.

Blossom64265 · 03/02/2022 16:21

My DH has some serious food issues and eats a very restricted diet. I am autistic and don’t have food issues, but it’s something I easily understand. He has his own medical background that plays into his food aversions. It has caused some strife in our relationship, but all that was really required was for me to stop cooking for him.

There are occasional times where I look at a restaurant menu and decide that it’s not a good fit for us to try together. That doesn’t mean I can’t go with someone else or even on my own.

He enriches my life in so many other ways. Finding someone who enjoys the same food I like is actually easy. Finding someone who wants to read the same books and dissect them, who likes my esoteric tv series, or who really understands me as a person is much harder. I can overlook a little rigidity about food.

XantheBreeze · 03/02/2022 16:21

No, equally wouldn’t marry a vegetarian either.
I enjoy cooking and food way too much. It would massively affect quality of life not to mention the complications if you have children together. Hypnotherapy?

MarshmallowSwede · 03/02/2022 16:22

No.. what is his skin like? It must be terrible if he doesn’t eat veggies.

FrugalFrancine · 03/02/2022 16:22

Sorry, but you are coming across as a bit riled up, but if you aren't, I'll take your word for it.

I don't want to shut down your opinion at all!

Another way of explaining it would be, 'the ick'. You know, when you're dating someone and something they do really turns you off? This is one of those things for me. It isn't for you though as you have said and that obviously is fine - doesn't even need to be said

FrugalFrancine · 03/02/2022 16:22

@FrugalFrancine

Sorry, but you are coming across as a bit riled up, but if you aren't, I'll take your word for it.

I don't want to shut down your opinion at all!

Another way of explaining it would be, 'the ick'. You know, when you're dating someone and something they do really turns you off? This is one of those things for me. It isn't for you though as you have said and that obviously is fine - doesn't even need to be said

To you again @DiddyHeck

loveinthe90s · 03/02/2022 16:23

@DiddyHeck I would find constant dieting equally annoying actually. To be honest it's why I never eat out anywhere with my sister as she has an eating disorder wrapped up in faddy diets and orthorexia, and it's just the elephant in the room. Stops healthy enjoyment of food.

cushioncovers · 03/02/2022 16:23

Nope it's childish and shows a lack of willingness to change or comprise.

FrugalFrancine · 03/02/2022 16:24

And yes @DiddyHeck, people who are constantly dieting would DEFINITELY turn me off; that goes for friends as well. I avoid people who talk about weight loss goals all the time - no ta

StrychnineIntheSandwiches · 03/02/2022 16:24

@DiddyHeck, I feel the same when I read about Victoria Beckham having only eaten grilled fish and steamed veg dinner for the past 25 years. The same thing: total turn off. Don't want to be with someone who has decided ALL vegetables are terrible and don't want to be with someone who insists on eating the same meal every night.

Different things matter to different people. This wouldn't matter to you. It would matter to me.

Louisianagumbo · 03/02/2022 16:24

One less thing I'd have to cook so, yeah, I'd date him.

InisnaBro · 03/02/2022 16:25

Absolutely not. I'm vegetarian and wouldn't even kiss anyone who wasn't. Urgh.

sadpapercourtesan · 03/02/2022 16:25

@cushioncovers

Nope it's childish and shows a lack of willingness to change or comprise.

How does it?

Maybe they have tried to change. Maybe they are carrying some sort of trauma related to being force-fed in childhood (not uncommon). Maybe they are ND and have problems with certain textures and flavours. Are other sensory difficulties also "childish"?

NewBrownMouse · 03/02/2022 16:26

Nope I've lived with it once and never again, it makes communal cooking a nightmare for starters!

Sharrowgirl · 03/02/2022 16:27

Does he refuse to eat them or do you just mean he has an unhealthy diet and hasn’t thought about it?

sadpapercourtesan · 03/02/2022 16:27

That said, of course nobody is obliged to be attracted to anyone else - it's involuntary. The "off-putting" reaction does seem to be predicated on some quite shallow and intolerant assumptions though, which is sad.

Ncwinc · 03/02/2022 16:29

Refusing all/most veg is a stage that children go through so it makes me think of a child. It’s the ‘all vegetables’ that does it.

schnubbins · 03/02/2022 16:30

No way because most of my diet is vegetables even though Im not vegetarian .I just love veggies!

Itshothothot · 03/02/2022 16:30

My sister is with a guy who wont eat veg or salad.

His mum doesnt eat either of those so he was brought up like that.

He has a son (early teens) and he too is like this as my sisters partners never offered him veg or salad because “he wont like it, i know he wont”

loveinthe90s · 03/02/2022 16:31

@sadpapercourtesan how is it shallow though if you find it physically repellent? I would, the thought of his insides coated in all that beige and brown food (yuck).
Also it's just too babyish. Furthermore vegetables hardly taste of anything, certainly green ones don't. So what's to dislike?

Ilovetommycat · 03/02/2022 16:31

I wouldn't use someone's diet as a reason not to date or marry (roast turds would be an exception).
My dh and I have very different tastes but are both happy to cook our own or for each other.
Just can't believe he hates cheese, how is that even possible