[quote vivariumvivariumsvivaria]Interesting thread about not having a funeral on AIBU. I looked at donating my body but didn't sign up as my children were young and I thought a funeral would be needed for them to put a "hook" on my untimely death.
They are teens now, and know that two of my close relatives donated their bodies - who saw from the war and life what medicine could do and so they wanted to help train the next lot of medics.
I obediently wash my empty tins and sort my plastics and compost - my body is just a natural resource with a value after I'm done with it, so, I see donation to science as just an extension of recycling.
My bereaved relatives had a mixed response to having no funeral - some saw it as "it's his wish, he's doing a good thing" while some, the ones with a strong sense of faith, say they struggled without a service to say "goodbye".
I'm hoping to live a long time yet so I'll need to engineer conversation with my kids - a tricky topic over dinner one night, "hey kids, let's chat about me being dead and the interesting things that can be done with a corpse".
Anyone want to share their reasons for donating their body, or for definitely not wanting to donate their body; or have advice or insights about talking to your teens about your hopefully-not-yet-demise?
link to thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4466661-to-think-not-having-a-funeral-is-ok
link to donation page
www.rcseng.ac.uk/about-the-rcs/support-our-work/donate/donate-your-body-to-medical-science/[/quote]
Re the chatting with your kids
I didn't broach it out of the blue, nor did I go into the whole thing all at once. When they were teens and someone famous died, I just mentioned casually that I didn't want a lot of fuss when I died and found the idea of a funeral unnecessary - and then changed the subject.
As it happened we had Diana's death when mine were teens so there was plenty of opportunity for discussion without it being too personal. (You will have the Queen's death sometime in the not too distant future).
As they have got older still there have been plenty of deaths of famous people to spark the conversation (George Michael and Amy had the most relevance for them).
They know that I see my body as a vessel and that I don't care what happens to it after I am gone, they know that I like the idea of ashes being spread in a specific place, but that I won't know or care when it actually happens, and they know I think money spent on funerals is money wasted. All these discussions have taken place quite naturally mainly, I think, because there has been no reason to think of it happening any time soon.
I think this is important. Death is totally natural and happens to us all. Leaving discussions until people are ill makes them much harder.