donating body to medical science

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

Interesting thread about not having a funeral on AIBU. I looked at donating my body but didn't sign up as my children were young and I thought a funeral would be needed for them to put a "hook" on my untimely death.

They are teens now, and know that two of my close relatives donated their bodies - who saw from the war and life what medicine could do and so they wanted to help train the next lot of medics.

I obediently wash my empty tins and sort my plastics and compost - my body is just a natural resource with a value after I'm done with it, so, I see donation to science as just an extension of recycling.

My bereaved relatives had a mixed response to having no funeral - some saw it as "it's his wish, he's doing a good thing" while some, the ones with a strong sense of faith, say they struggled without a service to say "goodbye".

I'm hoping to live a long time yet so I'll need to engineer conversation with my kids - a tricky topic over dinner one night, "hey kids, let's chat about me being dead and the interesting things that can be done with a corpse".

Anyone want to share their reasons for donating their body, or for definitely not wanting to donate their body; or have advice or insights about talking to your teens about your hopefully-not-yet-demise?

link to thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4466661-to-think-not-having-a-funeral-is-ok

link to donation page
www.rcseng.ac.uk/about-the-rcs/support-our-work/donate/donate-your-body-to-medical-science/

Sorry not rtft but I had a relative donate their body. They had a rare type of cancer and knew they were dying for quite a long time. They had no issue being accpeted.

A few weeks later there was a memorial service just the same as a funeral really but without the body.

Part of the reason I have donated my body is that my mum died when I was a child.

I was guilt tripped for years by my dad to keep visiting her grave. People were horrible to me about it as I was growing up. All I ever got was told I was cold or I didn’t care because I didn’t see the point in standing over her grave and despairing once a week.

Even as a small child I didn’t see the point. SHE wasn’t there. I grew fed up with being told I was disrespectful for not standing at her grave.

Remains don’t mean anything to me. The person is gone.

My grandfather lived with us when I was a baby. When he died he was obviously buried in the place we were living. A place my parents were unhappy in, but my mother wouldn’t leave for years because he was buried there. She wouldn’t hear of “leaving” him.

I don’t want my children to ever feel tied like that. I don't want them to stand at my grave and cry.

My father wants me tied to him when he dies. He’s made me promise my children will visit his grave each week. He wants us to mourn forever. It’s a horrible thing to expect.

And I want my body to actually do some good. I couldn’t give a fuck if a medical student play silly buggers with my remains (although they shouldn’t be doing that but some people are just tosser). I’ll be dead. I won’t care. It’s only a body.

Interesting that they won't accept people with dementia, I would have thought it would be quite useful to have a good look at their bodies. I guess that means they would not have accepted my father's body then as he had Parkinsons. I only found out you could do it after he died, and of course he would have had to have made the decision himself.

I'd be happy to donate mine if they'll accept it. It's more useful being used for a purpose than simply disposed of.

I firmly believe your soul moves on and that our bodies are only for this world and you shouldn’t mourn bones.

But I also understand that everyone has different feelings.

@NemoSurprise21

Sparklingbrook my mother died 12 months ago. She had signed paperwork in 1998 donating her body to medical science/research. When she developed Alzheimers' ten years before he death, she flatly refused to see any of us, so I saw very little of her during that time.

When she died, I was her executor and I went ahead and organised a normal funeral (albeit a highly limited Covid event with very few attendees allowed), and she was cremated. I did not want her body donated. Others can call me selfish if they wish, but my experience of doctors and scientists is mixed and I felt strongly on this matter.

Her GP tried hard to guilt trip me but I stood firm. There was no problem, and the (very good) funeral directors told me that I was perfectly within my rights to do this.

I am immensely glad I did it, and have no regrets at all.

Thank you for saying this I appreciate it. I know my siblings don't have a problem with it all but they know I'm struggling with the idea. I always thought until they signed up that there would be a little non religious service at the crematorium then back to the pub for sandwiches and a chat with family which is what I have been used to. I have no idea whether they have told their own siblings even so it will all come as a bit of a shock, I think their generation expect the normal.

I sat in a meeting with a university medical school and our NHS trust and they discussed the lack of cadavers available for medical students. I decided then to donate my body to my local University.

There’s no guarantee that they will be able to use my body, but I hope they do. I’ll be beyond caring about my body being ‘twatted about with’, though I doubt that will happen.

When the students and academics have had as much use out of me as they can get I’ll be cremated with other donors and the university will hold a memorial service (held annually) which members of my family will be invited to.

The thought that my body could be useful to future doctors and surgeons who could go on to save countless lives is amazing.

@AnnaMagnani Thanks for your information. I'm so far signed up to donate everything, except my corneas - on account of a nonsensical squeamishness. You've made me reconsider and I quite fancy the idea of my twinkling eyes carrying on after I've gone!