What is the imaginary title of your imaginary PhD?

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Mine is "Teenagers and Coats: an ethnography of conflict"

Chapter headings include: "tweens: shifting the outerwear paradigm", "temperature: a social construct" and "the Oodie Paradox".

Inspired by DD's allergy to wearing coats in any weather while she complains of being cold in a toasty warm house.

@BuanoKubiamVej your thoughts on this are intriguing and I agree that further investigation into odd socks being an energy substrate to facilitate transformation would be beneficial. Transportation might be a spin out although we must consider the final destination of the errant T. lidae.

Paradoxical tensions in the diurnal snack-meal paradigm

Chapters could include:

• Literature review: acceptable and unacceptable household snack items and their individual capacity to provoke rage as a result of their particular presence or absence
• "I don't want lunch! Can I have a snack?": Cognitive dissonance and the pre-school child
• "Where are all the snacks?": The teenage experience
• Going for a day out and not bringing snacks: a risk analysis
• Does fruit count as a snack? A summary of some recent controversial philosophical debates
• Does fruit count as pudding? A tangential development of some arguments explored in the previous chapter
• Why has nobody eaten all the bananas I was specifically requested to buy last week? A plea for further research

@treblethink I would read the shit out of that.

I may have to do a second PhD in the complex logistics and mental health consequences of catering to four people with different and sometimes contradictory dietary requirements multiple times a day.

@riverpebbles I hear you. I'm in the early stages of a real PhD at the moment but I think I may actually be more qualified in snack theory and practice at this point.

[quote riverpebbles]@Stooken Yes! Wondering whether 'snacks' and 'clothes' nest under the performance parenting heading, but can rejig the structure later, I suppose?[/quote]
‘The Role of the Rice Cake in Class-Based Performance Parenting.’

‘Mary or the Donkey: Schoolgate Side-Eye, the PTA, and the Politics of the Nativity Play’.

‘Nod and Smile: Body Language, and Micro-Expressions in the School Yard.’

‘Does Cuddles Go to Courchevel?: Class, Leisure and the Sociology of the Class Bear’

I’m on a roll here.

@Tomblibologist

Namechanged for this as I have previously shared it on other social media and I don't want my normal mumsnetting associated with me in real life. This topic was fornulated many years ago (DC much older now)

Advances in Theoretical Tomblibology - properties and deductions on the nature of as-yet unobserved Tombliboos.

We can deduce from careful observation of known Tombliboos, that there must at least theoretically exist Tombliboo "Or" who will have yellow hair-pom-poms and wear largely yellow clothes with red spots and stripes, and Tombliboo "Ibe" who will have green hair-pom-poms and wear largely green clothes with brown spots and stripes.

The author considers how such theoretically deductible Tombliboos might be experimentally detected. It is possible that a high-speed collision between two of the known Tombliboos within a vacuum might produce exotic Tombliboos in the chaotic aftermath. It is likely that the half-life of these exotic Tombliboos will be such that they don't exist for long but by studying them we may get a deeper understanding of the fundamental nature of Tombliboos, including why their trousers fall down so often.

This is the best thing I have read all day!

I'd forgotten about sodding Tombliboos.

Am also on the mailing list to hear more about why there are so many sheep.

I'm going to have a coffee and consider my theoretical PHD which may, or may not, include the word Trombelise.

I'm enjoying this too much so adding another:

"I never asked to be born". A teenage dialectic on the notion of self.

@AuntyFungal

I think you win....

Why thank you @RestingStitchFace

See everyone at the Cap ‘n Gown for a sweet sherry after you’ve all swished across the stage.