What is the imaginary title of your imaginary PhD?

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Mine is "Teenagers and Coats: an ethnography of conflict"

Chapter headings include: "tweens: shifting the outerwear paradigm", "temperature: a social construct" and "the Oodie Paradox".

Inspired by DD's allergy to wearing coats in any weather while she complains of being cold in a toasty warm house.

I did start a PhD in theoretical physics. Working title was "Toddlers and toast: searching for the optimal spliced plane" but it was rejected as unsolvable.

"The Cupboard Won't Close." A Taxonomy of Household Clutter.

@UseOfWeapons

Oh my God that website is hilarious! 😂

The Origami of Dish Stacking: ethnographic study of time, attention and emotion put into organising dishes ready for the dishwasher as opposed to emptying and stacking the actual dishwasher.

Bins and their associated emotional labour (still developing this one)

Menu planning: the repetitive meal cycle. Why do we eat the same 7 meals in rotation for months on end despite having over the last quarter decade made and enjoyed hundreds of different recipes.

Crumbs: a life long study into the spontaneous and enraging appearance after the removal of their relatives by a neurotic 40 something

I am currently engaged in a psychological study considering why middle aged women regress to bolshy teenagers when they have their elderly mother living with them.

@loopsaloo

Crumbs: a life long study into the spontaneous and enraging appearance after the removal of their relatives by a neurotic 40 something

OMG yes the crumbs!

Tweens and talking: a study of the decline of language from rich and varied to grunts as children approach the teenage years.

Chapters include:

1. Why “s’alright” is a complete sentence
2. Why tweens can talk nonsense of the phone for hours with peers, but cannot answer caregivers when prompted.
3. At what age does this problem rectify itself

Dusting: an in depth analysis of the inability of the male of the species to recognise and treat this phenomenon.

The Manlook: social conditioning or ocular deficiency?

Chapters include "it wasn't in that drawer when I looked in it", "what have you done with my..." and "does marriage trigger the inability to find things in males?"

Oooooh mine would be "illness in the male sex. Is it possible to be symptomatic and still function." With special focus on dramatic pauses followed by performance coughing, baby voices and zombie shuffling.

In rai life I would absolutely love to do a phd entitled "Gender transition; what effect does it have on Linguistic turn taking between the sexes".

Teens and bathrooms: why does it look like we’re 3 days into a poltergeist battle whenever they use it?

Chapters include:

Clothes next to the laundry basket rather than in it: do they lose their ability to see the basket once they hit puberty, and when are they able to see it and thus use it again?

Demanding their own preferred shampoo and conditioner but use my Olaplex: Just fucking why?

A study of the psychological impact of non pyjama days for the purpose of outdoor child enrichment activities.

Birthday celebrations for primary school aged children : a qualitative analysis of successful entertainment, catering, and behaviour management choices; and how these need to adapt as children mature.

Attention will also be paid to the issues around the management and etiquette of invitations and RSVPs, and how to minimise the risk of of damage within the family home.

The Art of Laundry: is there beauty in laundry, or laundry in beauty? How can one decontextualise piles of washing in order to avoid suicidal thoughts?

@UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea

The Manlook: social conditioning or ocular deficiency?

Bravo 👏 👏

Paper cuts: A definitive analysis of pain management techniques

How to deal with frizzy hair - I will need a LOT of grant money

Socks: a critical analysis of their migration habits during the process of cleaning.

These are fab!

The School Gates: an anthropological approach

Chapters to include:

• The complexities of casual communication in enforced communities

• The attempted building and inevitable destruction of new real-life social networks

• Performative parenting: the signs

• Triangular relationships between child-parent-teacher and their transformation into multi-dimensional relationships with multiple other parents, teachers and children

• Snacks

@riverpebbles

The School Gates: an anthropological approach

Chapters to include:

• The complexities of casual communication in enforced communities

• The attempted building and inevitable destruction of new real-life social networks

• Performative parenting: the signs

• Triangular relationships between child-parent-teacher and their transformation into multi-dimensional relationships with multiple other parents, teachers and children

• Snacks

I think you should add a chapter on ‘The School Run ‘Look’: Performative Sartorial Signals — Officewear, Gymwear, Pyjamas and the ‘School Run Dress’.

@Stooken Yes! Wondering whether 'snacks' and 'clothes' nest under the performance parenting heading, but can rejig the structure later, I suppose?

@WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe

Menu planning: the repetitive meal cycle. Why do we eat the same 7 meals in rotation for months on end despite having over the last quarter decade made and enjoyed hundreds of different recipes.

This one needs a chapter entitled: Exploring exactly why households have 80 recipe books and counting.