I need to find a really pompous way of saying something

[Knitter99]

3 of us volunteer for a charity doing some office admin work.

One of us is a pompous old sod and marginally in charge, 2 of us are quite normal.

The pompous one asked the normal one to ask me to "facilitate the requisite virements by conclusion of play", which basically means a bookkeeping transfer between two accounts.

What is the most pompous sounding way I can reply to say I've done it?

I've only just done it now after putting the kids to bed so I'm not sure I have done it by "conclusion of play" right enough. But I've done it.

[quote Knitter99]@RubaiyatOfAnyone what does celerity even mean? I have honestly never heard of that word in my life. I'm definitely using that one![/quote]
I always thought it was a typo for something else - didn’t realise it was an actual word!

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

Obviously this.

Although in Latin would be great too. Or Ancient Greek.

I had forgotten how much off you fuck then cunty chops makes me genuinely Lol

I confirm expeditious settlement of this matter.

I'd go the other way with "s'done, innit"

@breakdown19

I can’t remember which MN great came up with it but I say it, in my head, several times a day.

You’ve got to go opposite - puncture the windbag with a spiky but confusing ‘kk’.

these are hilarious (genius) but (a bit mean & you need to maintain an ongoing relationship so) in reality I would go with the simple "Done". You won't be able to verbally compete with the Pompous one repeatedly. You'll need "Done" as stock reply to all the future missives, too.

Buy him a copy of Fowler for his birthday, maybe.

A guy at work does this, both verbally and via email.

Why write one straightforward sentence when you can write ten sentences, each of which is mote confusing and superfluous than the last.

I like to respond with one word answers:

"Done"
"Agreed"
"Forwarded"
"Approved@
"Yes"
"No".

And so the revolution continues!

Don't forger to add as many reflexive pronouns as possible if yourself, myself, itself etc, in good old fashioned town hall clerk style.

@Knitter99 Hey OP, please share what you replied!

@badg3r

I done that thing you asked. Your welcome

😂😂😂

I think you mean I done that thing what you asked

Sounds like he could have Aspergers or autism. Using overly formal language and not appearing to have a sense of humour can be ASD traits.

You could start an ongoing thread where clever mumsnetters provide ever wordier responses to his wordy requests. I'm finding this thread very educational!

Nah, go minimalist.

☑️

👍

I think you should write one of these brilliant replies but in Latin. Up the ante considerably 🤣
Hopefully Google has a translate somewhere!

[quote JayAlfredPrufrock]@breakdown19

I can’t remember which MN great came up with it but I say it, in my head, several times a day.[/quote]
I've looked for the post but the mn search, being what it is, didn't help. It was a reply to an op saying that the language on MN was so crass they were thinking of leaving and the very first reply was

Off you fuck then Cunty Chops

It was brilliant, I guess it may have been used before but it was the first time it really stuck in my head as it was just such a perfect reply. I also say it often.

Although this thread is quite funny and I'm doing well on MN Bingo.

Prufrock apologies that sounds patronising.

Hey OP, please share what you replied!

I just replied with Done.

I would never be mean to him irl, we're all different, he probably finds me majorly irritating in other ways.

But thank you everyone for making me laugh and feel more charitable towards him when I felt exactly the opposite at the beginning.

Sometimes letting off steam on an anonymous Internet forum is just what you need so you can carry on being kind and decent in the real world.

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

This!

@hivemindneeded

Just reply: K.

"sorted mate"

Sometimes letting off steam on an anonymous Internet forum is just what you need so you can carry on being kind and decent in the real world.

True. But I wasn’t convinced that he wasn’t being comedic - but you know him.

Shame you had to miss the opportunity to use celerity though. Surely he would have enjoyed celerity.

I thought it probably meant “having a little bit of celery in it.” This stew is celerity.