I need to find a really pompous way of saying something

[Knitter99]

3 of us volunteer for a charity doing some office admin work.

One of us is a pompous old sod and marginally in charge, 2 of us are quite normal.

The pompous one asked the normal one to ask me to "facilitate the requisite virements by conclusion of play", which basically means a bookkeeping transfer between two accounts.

What is the most pompous sounding way I can reply to say I've done it?

I've only just done it now after putting the kids to bed so I'm not sure I have done it by "conclusion of play" right enough. But I've done it.

Could always go with 'bye Felicia!'

@RubaiyatOfAnyone is the best because it's actually the most literate. Don't use some of the others as they have errors in which you will need to avoid!

You are all making me laugh, thank you. Working with him is so tiring, there is nothing fun or cheerful about him at all. Time just drags, listening to him go on and on. And it's just volunteering, we don't even get paid.

@stuntbubbles

Ooh, I think you should go the reverse of pompous. Something like “Sorted, guv” or the worst gif meme you can find. Get his goat. (I’m assuming it’s a he.)

This one! It will really wind him up.

I have inclined to acquiesce to your request before the cock crows

I should guess the person is the very opposite of pompous; they have a wicked sense of humour and are entertaining themselves at your expense , keeping an absolutely straight face while contriving such instructions .

Off you fuck then cunty chops

Oh I wish I could, but he's a nice enough person, he gives a lot of time to the charity, he's just got a really unfortunate and irritating manner. And no sense of humour at all, or at least not one we've been able to find in the best part of a year with him.

I did actually have someone send me a similar mail, but in Latin. I performed the task but didn’t answer since he hadn’t formulated it as a question.
I would suggest: I have wasted no time in completing this task. Let him wonder.

@FoamBurst

I beg your fucking pardon.. Can you repeat that in English?

This!

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

Am I the only one who is thinking of Dr Johnstone in black adder saying this.

@JayAlfredPrufrock

Off you fuck then cunty chops.

Or is that not the vibe you are looking for?

Dying 😭😭

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

T_HIS THIS THIS!!!!!!! _ Also, PLEEEEEASE use the term 'Huzzah!'

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

Love this

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

Hoping I have need of this beautifully-constructed sentence in the very near future!

Further to your communication of even date, please be advised that the transactions therein requisitioned have been effectuated. I trust this is satisfactory.

Yours etc.

Isn't he just joking?

"Mate, are you ok? I thought you was having a stroke there for a minute what with you releasing your inner Del Boy and all that. Virements, shut up you tart!" If that fails follow up with a barrage of "mange tout"!

I was PA for a director once who used to reply to these sorts of things with 'toot sweet'

So it is written, so it is done.

"Job done" might be your best bet - why waste energy on out-verbosing a pompous mansplainer?

Maybe you could correct “close of play” to point out the correct term is “close of business.” And explain that you take your work very seriously. It is not play.

Commensurate with your prerequisite, the initiative has been substantially facilitated within the boundaries of the aforementioned stipulations.

@girafferafferaffe

I was PA for a director once who used to reply to these sorts of things with 'toot sweet'

Love this and haven’t heard it for a bit. Plus the addition ‘and the tooter the sweeter’ (Wodehouse maybe?)

Isn't he just joking?

No. This is how he speaks. All day, every day. He must be exhausted thinking up all his fancy words.

effectuated

That's a beautiful word. No idea what it means