I need to find a really pompous way of saying something

[Knitter99]

3 of us volunteer for a charity doing some office admin work.

One of us is a pompous old sod and marginally in charge, 2 of us are quite normal.

The pompous one asked the normal one to ask me to "facilitate the requisite virements by conclusion of play", which basically means a bookkeeping transfer between two accounts.

What is the most pompous sounding way I can reply to say I've done it?

I've only just done it now after putting the kids to bed so I'm not sure I have done it by "conclusion of play" right enough. But I've done it.

Actually maybe that was a bit unfair to call him a mansplainer and I am sending apologies through the ether to your co-worker. But I do stand by my point that "Job done" is the best response. Anything more and you'll be trying to rescue him!

Oh, so you don't want to go to town? I was thinking

Dear Pompous,

Thank you very much for your kind invitation requesting me to facilitate the requisite virements by conclusion of play. I am delighted to be able to confirm that the aforementioned transaction was successfully undertaken, and indeed well ahead of schedule having been completed by four thirty post meridiem on this, the 26th day of the first month in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty two.

I trust this meets with your glowing satisfaction and approval,

Yours sincerely,

OP

Why not just say you've done it?
Mocking the way someone speaks is never going to go well.

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

This is brilliant!

I'd go minimalist with:

"Done."

Am I the only one who is thinking of Dr Johnstone in black adder saying this.

I was thinking exactly the same. Definitely throw in a few pompous-sounding words that don't exist (like 'contrafibularities' and 'sausage' , to leave him scratching his head in a "Gaaaah, I must do better!!" manner

Either that, or find a theme and always strictly follow it whenever you reply to him - song titles/lyrics, film titles or whatever. Tell him that 'this woman's work' will 'be gone when the morning comes' or similar!!

Just out of interest, does he live in North East Somerset, have six children and could be described as 'not particularly a fan' of poor people?

'That's got it done'

(If you've seen General Zhukov in the film Death of Stalin, then you'll get the reference 😄)

Just reply: K.

@SenecaFallsRedux

old sod

Are you referring to the person's age, and if so, what does age have to do with it?

@knitter99

Are you studiously ignoring the enquiry regarding use of the term 'old'?

@Onatree

I am in the adequate position of advising your most noble self to perform the act of coitus on your own self whilst you depart to the farthest side of coitus.

(Fuck off to the far side of fuck)

Coitus 😂😂😂

Wow I am a bit wordy but virements is a new word for me! Thanks op

[quote Knitter99]@RubaiyatOfAnyone what does celerity even mean? I have honestly never heard of that word in my life. I'm definitely using that one![/quote]
It means go swiftly with movement. It appears in a song in HMS Pinafore 'go get you hence to your with cabin with celerity' thus many an amateur G&S society as a joke gets a female member of the chorus to be a character called 'Celerity'

*celerity =speed

I'd say i wasn't a fluent speaker of bollocks and could he repeat it in English

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

I would complete that with "let joy be unconfined."

oh, you must add that you gave credence to their invocation with the utmost alacrity.

Or DONE.

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

Yes! This!

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

This one fits the bill

@FoamBurst

I beg your fucking pardon.. Can you repeat that in English?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nothing to add but these are great

I'm sorry but my response would be get over yourself you twat.

I used to work with a woman who spoke like that to customers. The amount of times I'd get a phone call ten minutes later telling me they had no idea what the other woman was on about.

I done that thing you asked. Your welcome

😂😂😂

@RubaiyatOfAnyone

Felicitations Further to your missive, please rest assured that all remunerations and other pecuniary transactions have been completed with expeditious celerity and exactitude.

Loving the missive 😂🙌

If you reply in a pompous way he’ll love it and up his game for next week. In fact he’ll probably speak like that too!