Social media damages children's mental health. Ban it?

[noblegiraffe]

This blog from Sam Freedman lays out the evidence that use of social media is linked to a rise in mental health issues in children and young people samf.substack.com/p/kids-and-social-media-a-mental-health?r=15j85e

He concludes that he will be keeping his 12 year old twins away from smart phones for as long as possible.

I've got one DC who is entirely uninterested in social media and one who is too young; but I can see that in the future there will be a big battle there.

It's not entirely clear what is meant by social media, whether that includes messaging apps, but schools are rife with problems caused by those too.

Have you seen any impact? Is it possible to keep them off it in this day and age? What can be done to mitigate the impact if not?

Absolutely agree with this 1000%.

I use Reddit and Mumsnet. But I don’t use any other social media. My husband also uses zero social media

My children have often heard my say how I hate facebook etc. So im hoping they continue to show no interest in it.

It needs to be gone.

I think there are separate issues here, each with their own problems:

Messaging apps - clearly vital for organising social life however absolutely awful for cyber bullying, plus issues around sexting

I guess the risks here can be mitigated by monitoring and open discussion?

Social media - Instagram and so on is where you get mental health issues around appearance, likes, comparing social lives, possessions etc to people putting up their best self/fake pictures

I can’t see any benefits in kids having Instagram-type accounts tbh

Other internet platforms - YouTube/tiktok can be full of harmful content. But also educational content, funny memes etc.

Difficult one this.

Gaming - not often mentioned but kids I teach come out with some horrendous stuff they’ve heard/observed/experienced gaming online with headsets, against friends but also from strangers, including Russians.

I think restricting gaming to friend servers only and keeping an ear out on what they are saying to each other is helpful here.

@noblegiraffe

Gaming - not often mentioned but kids I teach come out with some horrendous stuff they’ve heard/observed/experienced gaming online with headsets, against friends but also from strangers, including Russians.

Yes, I agree. Parents should be aware of Instagram, Whatsapp etc and should be policing/monitoring use due to the well known risks.

But the risks in gaming is much less well known. We were caught out years ago when our DS was playing ClubPenguin whilst at primary school. He played it in our lounge (he didn't have any devices in his bedroom at that age), so we kept an eye on what he was doing and, anyway, he often included us when he was doing a challenge or there was a special "event" happening, so we thought we were doing OK and he was safe. However, once, we looked over his shoulder and there was a group of them "talking" to each other via their penguins with pretty bad obscenities and sex abuse chat - DS hadn't a clue what any of it meant at that age. It brought it home to us that even "simple" child orientated online games could be abused via the messaging built in to them. There definitely needs to be better education around the whole thing.

I think you can 'educate' all you like but that is still relying on the children to spot the danger / issues when they arise. Knowing in theory is far different from spotting and taking action in the minute.

Oh waa, waa, waa. Ever noticed that it's always the self-righteous middle class twats calling for bans on everything, because the lower orders can't be trusted to control themselves or their children?

Much of the whinyarsery about social media (almost all of it in fact) is the same reheated bullshit that used to be applied to comics, television, certain types of pop music, and much more. Some of it comes from a gatekeeper mindset - the general public shouldn't be allowed to communicate with one another unless there is an Authority Figure keeping an eye on what is communicated. It's all about control, and upholding the structures that benefit the powerful.

You haven’t read the blog in the OP then, wreath that shows the evidence that it’s not just moral panic. It specifically deals with that criticism and shows that there appears to be a genuine issue with social media affecting mental health.

@TeenPlusCat

I think you can 'educate' all you like but that is still relying on the children to spot the danger / issues when they arise. Knowing in theory is far different from spotting and taking action in the minute.

But that's the same in everything.

Before the internet, we would "educate" our children about the dangers of smoking, excess alcohol, drugs, sex, etc., but despite them being fully aware of the risks/dangers, some would still find themselves caught up with what their friends were doing and end up in difficulties. But, usually, the ones who weren't told (educated) about things ended up in difficulties more often as they weren't prepared.

Nothing is foolproof. Outright bans are impossible and don't work anyway. Education really is the key, backed up by parental monitoring/conversations.

@noblegiraffe

You haven’t read the blog in the OP then, wreath that shows the evidence that it’s not just moral panic. It specifically deals with that criticism and shows that there appears to be a genuine issue with social media affecting mental health.

No one doubts there are genuine issues with SM. But outright bans are impossible and don't work. We have to learn to live with SM, and that comes down to education and monitoring, both at home and at school.

user149 I agree that banning wouldn't work.

But too many parents rely on education in schools or trust rather than active monitoring.

Social media is bad for all of our mental health, never mind kids.
The problem is, it's become so deeply engrained in society now that kids are left out if they don't have it. It's a lose lose situation now.

The only way I can see it getting better is if social media companies do better checks on making sure people who sign up are old enough - and perhaps raise the age from 13 to 16.

@LindaEllen

Social media is bad for all of our mental health, never mind kids. The problem is, it's become so deeply engrained in society now that kids are left out if they don't have it. It's a lose lose situation now.

The only way I can see it getting better is if social media companies do better checks on making sure people who sign up are old enough - and perhaps raise the age from 13 to 16.

Not at all. Plenty of people benefit massively from social media if they use it in moderation and don't get obsessed with it.

It proved it's worth during the Covid lockdowns when it was literally a life saver to lots of people.

It's massively beneficial for people who use it for hobbies, i.e. to get advice from others, etc.

People just need to be taught about the dangers and how to use it to their advantage.

That applies to adults.

However we also have safeguarding responsibilities towards children who should not be using social media in the same way as adults.

@sadpapercourtesan

Social media is neither good nor evil. It's like any other tool in the hands of human beings - it has the potential to be used for either. Banning it is not only ridiculous but impossible at this point. Parents need to apply safeguards and limits, as they would with access to sharp knives and naked flames. And different parents will make different choices and have different thresholds.

Personally, I think it's actively wrong to deny older children (secondary onwards) the opportunity to engage in what have become normal channels of communication with their peers. Like it or not, this is the world our offspring live in and will have to grow up and work in. This is their culture - parents who go all out to keep their children separate from it are stunting their development and preventing them from engaging in normal friendships. This is how kids interact with one another now. You can, of course, cut your own child off for as long as possible, but you're not doing them any favours.

I agree with this.

As parents, we should be reaching our children about social media. We can't just ignore it, demand it be banned and hope it goes away.

I remember my mum back in the 80s telling me how pictures of women on magazines weren't real, stuff on TV is fake etc and that has stuck with me into adulthood. We should be having these conversations with our kids about social media. We should be encouraging them to think critically about it. We should be encouraging them to have lives outside of it.

I also think that MN is too anti-device in general. I'm of the opinion that children who are taught Internet safety and are a familiar with devices from a younger age are probably more responsible than those how have never been given the chance and go crazy. It's the same as booze, smoking and sex. Make a big deal out of banning it and it becomes a big thing. Let them have it and it becomes boring and they don't want it.

Yes, but schools have had a safeguarding responsibility towards children for years, but that didn't stop "in person" bullying, abuse, etc., either. Bullying etc on social media is just a new form of bullying. Stopping SM (not that it's possible) will just push more bullying back into face to face, Bullies and abusers aren't suddenly going to stop just because they can't log into whatsapp!

@user1497207191

Yes, but schools have had a safeguarding responsibility towards children for years, but that didn't stop "in person" bullying, abuse, etc., either. Bullying etc on social media is just a new form of bullying. Stopping SM (not that it's possible) will just push more bullying back into face to face, Bullies and abusers aren't suddenly going to stop just because they can't log into whatsapp!

At least in the old days children could get away from their bullies. Surely the 'new' thing with SM is the bullies can continue throughout the evening, night, weekends and holidays. Also the SM companies are very clever - they aim to make their products addictive.

I don't think you can ban, but parents need to take more responsibility to monitor use and set boundaries.

Social media is one part of a system within society with may damage mental health. It is overly simplistic to suggest that we could ban it and everything woukd be fine. We would still live within a society focused on the qualities that led to the development of social media.

I also think people sometimes have a rose tinted image of the past with regards to mental health. I don't for a second think people were less distressed in the past, I image they were necessarily more detached from their feelings so less often diagnoses, and much less often got help.

@TeenPlusCat

At least in the old days children could get away from their bullies.

No they couldn't, if they were in the same form, same classes, same games team, etc, etc. That's 6 hours per day which is more than enough for a lot of harm to be done.

Yes, I appreciate the 24/7 nature of social media, but even if somehow you managed to turn it off, the school time bullying would still do just as much harm.

We need to properly tackle both online AND in person bullying. Tackling online could well make the in person bullying worse.

The only answer is education and monitoring, by both parents and schools, followed up by proper sanctions/punishments for the bullies/abusers.

I’ve worked in a school for the last 5 years and I think the effect it has on children is awful. I’m pregnant with my first child now and whilst I know it will still be there when she’s a teenager I hope it’s less prevalent than it is now and they have more of an actual life rather than just sat staring at a screen!

DH is a teacher in secondary school and most of the bullying and crap he has to deal with is over sm. I do think the younger generations are going to pull away from it more until different platforms come out. You know when you're granny is on Facebook or you're great aunt is following you on Instagram it's already peaked. Tik tok is going the same way.

My kids have phones but no sm they just chat with their mates although that requires careful monitoring in group chats.

Back in the day when it was comics and magazines, I wanted to read J17 and More.
It humiliated me I wasn't allowed. There will always be something.

I don't for a second think people were less distressed in the past

And yet hospitalisations for self harm have increased since 2012. The blog in the OP deals with these arguments.

The negative effect of social media on the mental health of children appears to be a real phenomenon.

@itwasntaparty

DH is a teacher in secondary school and most of the bullying and crap he has to deal with is over sm. I do think the younger generations are going to pull away from it more until different platforms come out. You know when you're granny is on Facebook or you're great aunt is following you on Instagram it's already peaked. Tik tok is going the same way.

My kids have phones but no sm they just chat with their mates although that requires careful monitoring in group chats.

Back in the day when it was comics and magazines, I wanted to read J17 and More.
It humiliated me I wasn't allowed. There will always be something.

The thing is that the bullies will still be bullies, whether SM or not. Those who are using SM to bully/abuse would find another way if SM was suddenly turned off. They'd go back to verbal/physical bullying/abuse.

Back when I was at school and the target for several bullies, it wasn't just face to face at school. I'd get notes pushed through the house letterbox. We even started receiving huge amounts of junk mail at home addressed to fake names, i.e. Master Bates, I.B. Smelly, etc as the bullies had obviously thought of a hilarious wheeze to sign up to mail order firms etc using fake names and my address.

SM is just another way of "delivering" the abuse, but make no mistake, it would continue in other ways if SM didn't exist. The pathetic inadequate bullies won't just stop doing it!

No they couldn't, if they were in the same form, same classes, same games team, etc, etc. That's 6 hours per day which is more than enough for a lot of harm to be done.

Do you think that it’s either or? That the child who is being bullied on social media isn’t also being bullied at school?

The idea that bullying moves from real life to social media rather than extends from real life to social media doesn’t stand up.

@noblegiraffe

No they couldn't, if they were in the same form, same classes, same games team, etc, etc. That's 6 hours per day which is more than enough for a lot of harm to be done.

Do you think that it’s either or? That the child who is being bullied on social media isn’t also being bullied at school?

The idea that bullying moves from real life to social media rather than extends from real life to social media doesn’t stand up.

But that's my point. If somehow they achieved the impossible and stopped SM and SM bullying, it would just continue in real life, probably at higher levels.

That's why proper education and monitoring by parents and schools is the answer, not just turning off one medium.

I think we both agree bullying is wrong and should be tackled.

Social media use should be monitored so that children can be protected in their own home.

However many parents are resistant to the idea of monitoring their child’s online activity citing ‘privacy’.

@noblegiraffe

I think we both agree bullying is wrong and should be tackled.

Social media use should be monitored so that children can be protected in their own home.

However many parents are resistant to the idea of monitoring their child’s online activity citing ‘privacy’.

Er, kids have a right to some privacy. Let's not forget or ignore the fact that some parents who insist on monitoring their DCs' communications are abusers. Just like some of those who insist on unfettered access to a partners' social media accounts are abusers.