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Original poster

Getting "married" at home. If you were my neighbours, WWYT?

73 replies

PeeAche · 24/01/2022 13:50

DH and I tied the knot in private during the 'Rona. We could only invite 6 people, so... we didn't.

This summer, we're having the "wedding" in our back garden. (We have lots of land).

We moved here during Covid too so we don't know many of our neighbours well. Parking is an issue on our road, (narrow country lane) but I've managed to sweet talk the parish council to let all my guests park in the carpark / field of our local village green (7 minute walk).

We have a celebrant booked to do our vows at 3pm. Then it's hot pork rolls, a 3 piece acoustic band and finally a 1950s Rockabilly band. Live music will finish at 9.45 and other music at 11. Then it's "carriages" and everyone is gone. Around 100 people are expected.

No bar so no events licence.

We're having cake, speeches, evening buffet too. But the main thing is the noise...

I plan on popping around to see all the neighbours with about 3 months notice. Thought I would invite them for the evening too.

We've not done anything like this before. If you were my neighbour would you be angry? Complain? Call the police? Try to make it stop?

The wedding is in the middle of a 4 day bank holiday weekend.

OP posts:
Amandasummers · 24/01/2022 13:56

It wouldn’t bother me, but I’m not your neighbour!

Branleuse · 24/01/2022 13:58

it would be fine with me. Plenty of notice and not an all-nighter. If theyre invited too, then even better.

MinestroneMini · 24/01/2022 13:59

If you were my neighbour would you be angry? Complain? Call the police? Try to make it stop?

No, it all sounds very reasonable. Hope it goes well for you.

Interested in this thread?

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Weddings
Chasingsquirrels · 24/01/2022 13:59

Sounds lovely, wouldn't bother me.

HotToddyColdSauvignon · 24/01/2022 14:00

I think with the advance notice, and an invite to the evening party, anyone who does have a grumble is a proper curmudgeon. It’s not like you’re doing this every weekend, and the fact the council have already approved your parking….

Congrats op, have a brilliant day

LindyLou2020 · 24/01/2022 14:01

I think this sounds fabulous!
My only question - you say "no bar" - so what are your plans for drinks?
I think to invite the neighbours for the evening would be a lovely gesture, and a wise one too!
Can I come please? 👀
(I'll be good.......)

addler · 24/01/2022 14:02

No, it sounds lovely. Noise stops before midnight, advance warning, an invitation to attend and parking sorted- that would all be acceptable for a general party let alone a special occasion such as a wedding. I hope it's a lovely day for all Thanks

PrimroseBed · 24/01/2022 14:02

Sounds lovely- hope you have a great time. Your neighbours would be unreasonable to object.

When you're talking to them, make clear that the evening has a definite end point- most people are fine with a bit of noise for a celebration of they know it will end up a reasonable time but I think if they fear it's going to go on all night, they start getting annoyed much earlier.

LittleGungHo · 24/01/2022 14:03

We back onto a cricket field and we were given 2 weeks notice. The bride and groom dropped around a bottle of wine and gave us a letter with timings and a number to contact if we had any questions and also a number for on the day of there were issues.
I won't give too much notice.
We personally enjoyed the music.

User2638483 · 24/01/2022 14:05

No it’s fine
Nice touch to invite them, and with that amount of notice they can always go out/go away

CMOTDibbler · 24/01/2022 14:05

I think you'd need to promise your neighbours that you will have someone enforcing parking, and that you will not have fireworks/lanterns etc. I'd also take them a generous couple of bottles of wine the week before, and make sure they have the number of someone who is your nominated liason officer (the same who does the parking checks possibly) who will promise to have their phone on and can let you know if anyone has an issue with noise levels - it can really carry but just knowing that someone acknowledges it could be an issue and you can inform them probably will mean they don't complain.

PurBal · 24/01/2022 14:05

It’s just a party. A courtesy “this is what we’re up to” is more than enough. Congratulations.

pebble7 · 24/01/2022 14:05

We had something similar when my dad got remarried. We popped notes through the neighbours doors a few weeks before with a contact number (we used mine as knew the bride and groom would be busy on the day!) and they could message if they had any issues on the day/ night, we also invited them to come along for a few drinks. We got lots of text messages but to wish my dad and step mum a lovely day and no complaints at all. I think knocking on doors is a nice personnel touch and I shouldn't think anyone would mind as it's one day and you are giving notice. I hope you have a lovely day 💜

MaybeHeIsMyCat · 24/01/2022 14:06

I would ask for some food and cake Grin and then be happy and leave you to party
I'm easily bribed

TheChemicalMother · 24/01/2022 14:07

No issue at all with a Bank Hol do finishing by 11, or even midnight.

Invite local neighbours you get to know in advance - pop a note through other doors letting them know what is happening and that there is a set end time. Saves them sitting there thinking 'will this go on all night?'

Make a donation to the Parish Council for the car parking.

mamatoTails · 24/01/2022 14:07

It wouldn't bother us, great that you have an ending time in place, so no all night noise.
The only thing that would annoy me is if people don't follow the parking rules and block any access to my property, so as a PP said, maybe have someone enforcing the correct parking.

Llareggub · 24/01/2022 14:10

It used to be the case that you’d have to register a venue as a “wedding venue” in order to marry there. Has this changed? I remember we looked into similar when my brother got married as we lived in a large house with land. In the end we had to have the ceremony elsewhere and then all back to the house for the reception.

I know it’s not what you asked but if it’s changed I’m really glad to hear it!

ANameChangeAgain · 24/01/2022 14:10

Absolutely nothing unusual about this in the countryside. I've been to plenty of big parties in back gardens or paddocks. The main issues are that parking 7 minutes away will be too far for some, so see if you can sort something closer for older relatives. Warn ladies to walk up in a pair of flats, not their Jimmy Choos. Invite neighbours to the evening do and give them lots to drink. Look into one of those horsebox cocktail bars, they'll have their own licence and if its a paid bar it'll save you a fortune on a help yourself to a drink situation.

erinaceus · 24/01/2022 14:12

I think what you are planning to do let them know in advance, and invite them to join you sounds fine. If they have any questions or concerns they can raise them with you then.

Have a lovely day, OP! Flowers

Knitter99 · 24/01/2022 14:12

I think to invite the neighbours for the evening would be a lovely gesture

I'm a bit the opposite, if I don't know you well I'm not going to come to your wedding reception and I'd feel a bit awkward about saying no if I was going to be at home anyway. I know it's an invite and not a summons, I could just say no thanks.
So I wouldn't bother about the invite but good idea to give a number they can call on the day if they have an issue, a best man or someone.

mindutopia · 24/01/2022 14:12

I wouldn't expect to be invited (though fine if you want to do that), but if you let me know, I'd be happy for you and not have an issue. It's one night. We have neighbours who had their daughter's wedding breakfast and evening on their farm. They dropped a note through everyone's letterbox about a month before to let us know to expect the noise and kindly told us what time the fireworks would be if we wanted to come and watch. Another neighbour's son had his (delayed due to COVID) 21st birthday party over the summer. He wrote everyone a letter as well to apologise in advance for any noise and included a pair of ear plugs. I think that's a lovely gesture and means you are being considerate. I'd only wish you well.

TheFlis12345 · 24/01/2022 14:13

Why would anyone call the police because you’re having a party in your own garden?!

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 24/01/2022 14:13

I had a similar event for my 21st birthday (a few decades ago now!), on my parents land. We did have alcohol and people parked and stayed over on the land.

I went around in person to all the neighbours, about a week before to tell them about it, mainly just to tell them about the party, that the music would stop at XX time and to give them a number to call if there were any problems. I also invited them for drinks and/or meal.

Universally everyone was thrilled for me and wished the event well. We struck strictly to the music end times we had said, which I think was important.

RuthW · 24/01/2022 14:13

I wouldn't mind as long as I was told beforehand

loobylou10 · 24/01/2022 14:14

@Llareggub I think they're already married - this is a blessing

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