Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Getting "married" at home. If you were my neighbours, WWYT?

73 replies

PeeAche · 24/01/2022 13:50

DH and I tied the knot in private during the 'Rona. We could only invite 6 people, so... we didn't.

This summer, we're having the "wedding" in our back garden. (We have lots of land).

We moved here during Covid too so we don't know many of our neighbours well. Parking is an issue on our road, (narrow country lane) but I've managed to sweet talk the parish council to let all my guests park in the carpark / field of our local village green (7 minute walk).

We have a celebrant booked to do our vows at 3pm. Then it's hot pork rolls, a 3 piece acoustic band and finally a 1950s Rockabilly band. Live music will finish at 9.45 and other music at 11. Then it's "carriages" and everyone is gone. Around 100 people are expected.

No bar so no events licence.

We're having cake, speeches, evening buffet too. But the main thing is the noise...

I plan on popping around to see all the neighbours with about 3 months notice. Thought I would invite them for the evening too.

We've not done anything like this before. If you were my neighbour would you be angry? Complain? Call the police? Try to make it stop?

The wedding is in the middle of a 4 day bank holiday weekend.

OP posts:
Maryann1975 · 24/01/2022 14:20

I have no problems with our neighbours having a big party as long as it’s not too often and they don’t go on excessively late (this is more important on work nights). We are really lucky. Even the normally selfish neighbours finish and go Inside at 9.30pm during the week.

I’d have zero problems with a wedding party that I knew was going to happen in advance, I’d been invited to (even if it was an invite out of politeness) and was finishing by 11.30.

Enjoy your wedding!

Kshhuxnxk · 24/01/2022 14:20

Sounds fab! As a neighbour I wouldn't be bothered and as a one off I wouldn't want a contact phone number either.

TyrannysaurusXXrightshoarder · 24/01/2022 14:24

We did this. Married first with just a couple of family members and our DDs. We then had loads of people round for the ‘celebration’ part (probably about 100 all told). Little unmade lane but most people were staying in hotels/BandBs nearby so got cabs to us, so parking wasn’t too much of an issue - we had enough room up the driveway for those that did drive. I gave all the neighbours, that might be in earshot, plenty of notice and I also invited them to pop in over the course of the day and evening for a drink. A couple of them did, but everyone was happy with it - we didn’t take the mickey by going on too late, and weren’t not usually noisy at any other time, so no one minded. But we know all of the neighbours and most of them well and everyone gets on, so I didn’t anticipate any issues anyway tbh.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
Norgie · 24/01/2022 14:41

It wouldn't bother me. If you've been courteous enough to let me know in advance and left a contact number, then I can't see an issue.
Hope all goes well for you.

Whatsonmymindgrapes · 24/01/2022 14:41

As a guest I’d be very bothered by no
Bar! You don’t need an events license for a open bar.

delilahbucket · 24/01/2022 14:47

If you gave me forewarning and it wasn't on a week night that's fine and would happily accept your invitation too. You sound like a very considerate neighbour OP.

longtompot · 24/01/2022 14:53

Sounds wonderful! As long as you don't have fireworks as one neighbour a short distance away from us did at their garden reception. Very loud and quite late at night, after midnight if I remember correctly.

Original poster
PeeAche · 24/01/2022 14:55

We're having booze! Lots of booze! But no official bar, so no temp events licence required. And yes, this is just a "blessing" - the actual wedding happened ages ago now. It wasn't planned this way - unexpected delay in the celebrating part, due to Covid!

Very good ideas about the somebody managing parking. I will ask my most officious friend if they would like a personalised high vis jacket. 😅

Interesting comments on inviting the neighbours. I think I will word it as "join us for a drink in the evening" rather than a formal invitation.

I can't buy everyone a fancy bottle of wine. It's about 8 houses that I intend to notify - by the time I've bought them all a nice bottle, I might as well have just hired a hotel. 😅

OP posts:
ElftonWednesday · 24/01/2022 14:58

I invite the closest neighbours round any time we have a party. We don't have loads but everyone has an outdoors party from time to time so no-one minds.

mumda · 24/01/2022 14:59

Invite them.
It's a nice thing to do.

If they're there they can't complain about the noise! :)

Floralnomad · 24/01/2022 14:59

Invite the neighbours along if you want to but that’s all that is needed as it’s a party that is going to end at a reasonable hour . People are allowed to have parties .

Liverbird77 · 24/01/2022 15:02

I'd buy you some champagne and wish you well. And I'd definitely come to the evening if invited!
I say this as someone with two very small children as well. I'd be more than happy for you to make as much noise as you wanted!

seasonalsnowflake · 24/01/2022 15:08

What time does the live music start? My neighbours did this for a 21st, live music started at an insane volume at about 3pm, and didn't stop until 11pm. 11pm is a fair enough finish but by that time it had been going relentlessly for 8 hours. It was utter hell for anyone with young children.

If you are considerate and keep the volume down, and maybe have a break in the music at some point so neighbours can get a break from it that would be appreciated. No one minds a one off party, but they do mind people taking the piss. Just because you inform them it is happening doesn't make it ok.

PennineWayinSlingbacks · 24/01/2022 15:14

We had a outdoor party for my DS's 18th party, popped a note through doors etc, everyone was fine. I hadn't been living in the countryside long enough to realise it wasn't the noise, more that the neighbours were mostly reassured to have an explanation for all the extra cars up and down our single track lane. People often comment on cars they don't recognise!

I know you've got parking organised but there'll still be loads of extra people about.

Sounds a fantastic evening, have a lovely time.

SirChenjins · 24/01/2022 15:16

As long as I knew there was an end time, that the parking would be properly managed and people didn’t decide to take the piss if it was raining and they didn’t fancy a walk in their finery, and that you invited me for a drink at some point during the evening (!) it wouldn’t bother me. Have a fab night Smile

whoruntheworldgirls · 24/01/2022 15:16

Wouldn't bother me, i'd enjoy listening to the music :-)
Sounds a lot of fun

TheSpottedZebra · 24/01/2022 15:24

I'd invite them! It's inclusive and they don't have to come.

The things to worry about are:

  • parking - so ensure no one gets blocked in, no one's gardens are churned up, no one drink drives
  • noise -make it clear no fireworks so people aren't worried about pets.
- no litter, no lanterns etc

Maybe for extra points try to use local suppliers where possible. Sausages, cider etc. You said you have land in a village so am guessing rural!

Original poster
PeeAche · 24/01/2022 15:36

@seasonalsnowflake live music is 5pm-5.45pm and then 6pm-6.45pm and then 8pm-9pm and then 9.30pm-10.15pm.

OP posts:
whiteworldgettingwhiter · 24/01/2022 15:38

It sounds wonderful and your neighbours have no reason to object. It's a one-off! Congratulations :)

Original poster
PeeAche · 24/01/2022 15:38

No fireworks! And definitely no lanterns. Both are pollutants and both would be going on too late as it's summer and doesn't get dark until 10.30!

We also have young children so I think we are fairly considerate like that.

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 24/01/2022 15:39

3 months notice (and the chance to see the band!) and I'd have no issue at all!!

Original poster
PeeAche · 24/01/2022 15:40

I just realised I got my times wrong. Second band starts at 7.30 not 8 so live music will be finished by 9.45 not 10.15!

OP posts:
Wreath21 · 24/01/2022 15:42

It sounds lovely, and if your neighbours are whinyarses about it that is their problem and not yours.

FieldOverFence · 24/01/2022 15:43

Our area sounds similar, and i think your plans are perfect - music stopping by 10pm, making sure no one parks on their land/outside their drive, an invitation to pop aorund for a drink, and plenty of notice to be elsewhere that weekend if they still think its going to be noisy

Go for it :D

irregularegular · 24/01/2022 15:44

Sounds great. I'd let the nearest neighbours know via a note through the door. Just a couple of weeks beforehand, otherwise they will just forget! I think you are worrying too much - if this is a rare occasion only the grumpiest of neighbours will mind. We've had 80ish guests for party in garden a couple of times for big birthdays. I think music etc until midnight on a weekend for a special occasion is fine. After midnight we tend to move indoors.