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Original poster

What is going on in your life?

99 replies

Notdoingthis · 19/01/2022 23:02

Would you like to offload? I am pretty busy but happy to check in and see how people are. I know sometimes we all just need a sounding board. Hope everyone is ok.

OP posts:
2DogsOnMySofa · 21/01/2022 07:25

@bloodywhitecat that's awful, fingers crossed for some better news in the shape of a care parcel

Marmelace · 21/01/2022 07:26

@Notdoingthis

Well done Marmalace and MintJulia, such positivity! You sound strong. Many of us seem to be overwhelmed with daily life. Time for me to raise the troops. Thank goodness it is Friday. Hope everyone has a good day.
Thank you, I've woken with a positive feeling today, no blocking heavy feeling in my head, going to go out on my mobility scooter and feel the wind in my hair. Sending positivity and strength to anyone who could do with it.
BurnedToast · 21/01/2022 07:32

@bloodywhitecat. That's awful. I am so sorry for you and your DH. Flowers coming your way.

I'm pushing 50, kids almost adults and adjusting to life after years of caring for them. I miss their little hands, their company and cuteness. I don't miss the screaming,restrictions and limitations of young children.

I'm overweight and trying to sort that out but very difficult when sat on my backside all day working from home.

I have a job I love which I have spent the last few years retraining for. It's the most I've pushed myself ever and I'm proud of my achievements.

Massive mortgage and tiny pension pot worry me. DH and I spend too much so really want to start saving more.

My mum is ageing fast and I'm aware I'll be lucky to have her for another 10 years which is no time at all. My dad is an end stage alcoholic and spends all day drinking and peeing himself. He lives alone so I await 'that' call.

We've had a difficult few years with DHs parents both becoming I'll and dying.

BobBobbity · 21/01/2022 07:40

@bloodywhitecat I really want to give you a hug and I hope you have people in real life who are doing that. Well done for fighting for him - I truly hope he is able to die peacefully and comfortably at home and that you are able to find moments to cherish have left together.

RiseAgain · 21/01/2022 07:44

My DF recently diagnosed with cancer so getting to grips with chemo, two weeks into a new job - everything a little overwhelming at the moment!
What I find helps me cope is to write lists of small tasks that need to be done and then tick them off, focusing on one little step after another.
Sending positive vibes to you all!

BobBobbity · 21/01/2022 07:44

@Marmelace I am feeling buoyed by you positive spirit today, I will try to channel some of the ‘wind in my hair’ vibes today!

Grasping · 21/01/2022 07:48

@bloodywhitecat
I am so very sorry for your sad situation.

He can't speak so trying to figure out what he is trying to communicate is hard
You may this but often, in this situation, what they’re asking for is a cuddle or hug. Tbh, even if it’s something else, a hug will help Flowers

Peanut82 · 21/01/2022 07:48

Morning!
I'm 40 in a few months, have a fab partner and 4 amazing kids. Two of which are struggling with different MH issues so that's stressful and worrying. Have a job I enjoy so can't complain too much

Grasping · 21/01/2022 07:51

I’ve been ill for weeks following covid and have also injured myself.
DH crazy busy
Surrounded by elderly relatives/dementia
Feel I’m losing touch with friends

Flip side:
We have no financial worries
DCs are doing well
Happy marriage
Lovely home
Love my job

Vallmo47 · 21/01/2022 07:51

What a lovely thread!

@Intothelight123 I suffered psychosis 6 years ago and happy to talk to you if you’d like.

Intothelight123 · 21/01/2022 08:32

@vallmo47 it's terrifying isn't it? I don't feel real, it's like my body isn't it's own. My brain isn't my own. It's like im banging on the window trying desperately trying to get the psychotic version of me to listen, to notice im there.

My kids have just been picked up for school. And I feel very unwell this morning, like my brain is going to unravel. I think I may just go back to bed.

I hope no one minds me twittering on, im finding it really helpful.

Original poster
Notdoingthis · 21/01/2022 09:06

bloodywhitecat what a thing to go through. It sounds unbelievably tough. Do you have any emotional support?
Strength to all of you.

OP posts:
Cottagepieandpeas · 21/01/2022 09:18

Sending love this morning to all of you who need it - and there are a lot on this thread. Thanks again @Notdoingthis for starting it.

@bloodywhitecat I'm so sorry to read your story. As others have said, I hope you have people around who can hug and support you, while you do that for your husband Flowers

Decoratedchicken · 21/01/2022 09:32

I have 3 small kids and I will be 40 this year. I have a husband who loves me and the kids a lot. I don’t want this time to pass too quickly. I don’t want them to grow up too quickly.

badlydrawnbear · 21/01/2022 09:44

The coroner is opening the inquest into DH’s death this morning. The opening of an inquest appears to be a 10 minute administrative thing, but I can dial in to it. He died 4 months ago, but I don’t really want to listen to someone announcing that.
My mum was here yesterday. She tidied up and now I can’t find anything in my kitchen again.
But, on the upside, I took my 10 year old (obviously very sad, always hated school anyway, says she has no friends) to school and another girl asked to walk in with her, and she is going to a different friend’s house this afternoon.

Cottagepieandpeas · 21/01/2022 09:47

Lovely news about your DD @badlydrawnbear

If you dial in to the inquest I hope it's not too distressing for you.

BobBobbity · 21/01/2022 09:52

I’m very sorry for your loss @badlydrawnbear - be kind to yourself today, that’s a tough milestone.

badlydrawnbear · 21/01/2022 09:56

And I didn’t see the cat shit on the floor and trod on it, now my slipper is probably ruined.

BobBobbity · 21/01/2022 09:59

I’m feeling great today, like I could take on the world. I’ve been a bit scattergun with taking my ADs recently but I think taking them at a consistent time each day helps so I’m going to try to keep doing that.

Unfortunately DH is having what I can only describe as a midlife crisis and his mental health is shot to pieces. Objectively he has the world at his feet, wonderful children (and I think I am ok too!) but he just can’t see any of that brightness and summon wha it takes to put one foot in front of the other right now. I’m trying to encourage him to take the steps he needs to take to get better, but he’s deep in a pit of negativity. I’ve been there myself so I know how he feels and that it’s not rational but it’s hard not to shake him and say ‘don’t you realise how lucky you are?’.

Hibye23289 · 21/01/2022 10:09

My husband is poorly yet again,he is always ill with flu etc and no I don't have sympathy because if he is tired from work he gets in bed early to watch movies,if he is ill which is alot he takes himself to bed for days on end but can be well enough to drive to the shop for fags! I feel no different to being single. I might sound mean but he has done alot of things to piss me off over the years and he is very selfish. We have almost divorced numerous times,this has gone on for years but now I am seeing the light and cannot be arsed yet when it comes to splitting I panic about the future and loneliness and the children who are at a very knowing age plus the 'shame' of people finding out. The dog also shit on the carpet again,I don't know what is more common the dog shitting or the husband being in bed and yes he works but he also takes alot of time off for illness, that would be his mothers fault for molly coddling him. I don't really need advice I know what I should do but it's hard and also hard feeling miserable for years from his actons and him being dumb founded by it. I will probably feel guilty for this.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 21/01/2022 10:41

Nothing like what's going on with many people on here, but my DH is driving me up the wall!! In his defence, we have a 4 week old and a 3 year old and he's usually good, but I tidied the kitchen twice yesterday, it was clear at bed time and still woke up to 4 mugs, 3 glasses, 2 cereal bowls, 2 plates and various bits of cutlery. The dishwasher is empty and it would've taken 1 extra minute to put them in.

He also leaves all the recycling by the sink instead of rinsing it. So the food dries on and it needs a proper wash instead of a quick rinse with warm water.

teacherintraining · 21/01/2022 10:44

Revisiting this thread. It's interesting isn't it that people are dealing with so much stuff behind closed door and you never really know, so you.

What really strikes me about this thread is that although there are messages of sadness and hardship that people are going through, I can almost hear the sigh of relief from each poster being able to get it out. And I really feel the virtual love people are sending to each other.

Am in a cab on my way to my back op. Feeling a bit sad that none of my friends have remembered or sent me any nice msgs. On the plus side, I have tidied and cleaned my dcs rooms this morning to distract myself from not being allowed to eat!!!!

Sending you all Friday hugs. X

Vallmo47 · 21/01/2022 11:12

@Intothelight123
I understand exactly what you are saying and think you’re doing amazing to be here posting about it. I had to be sectioned in the end but I was truly out of it and couldn’t separate reality from illness. It was the worst few years of my life. All I will say that with the help of the crisis and E.I team, as well as proper medication, you can get your life and mind back. It took me a very long time but it can and does happen. The E.I team said they loved ‘success stories’ like mine where someone has completely come to terms with what has happened and learned from it. Chances of relapse are much lower then apparently.

I’m so sorry to hear of other people’s awful experiences also. I lost my mum and best friend nearly 14 years ago and that raw feeling in your chest … oh I am just so sorry. One baby step at a time, it’s the only way forward.

Hugs to you all going through it right now ❤️

duvetdayforeveryone · 21/01/2022 11:13

@Notdoingthis Thank you for starting this thread :) I don't want to talk, but just knowing there are kind people in the world makes me feel a little better.

2DogsOnMySofa · 21/01/2022 12:52

I'm In a job that I like, that gives me the work/life balance I need. My dd is amazing (for a teenager), and I'm really enjoying her (I didn't enjoy the baby/toddler stage). I'm also still in love and enjoy my dh even after all these years. We also moved last year into a tiny, 200 year old cottage that I adore, I don't even mind the draughty and spiders lol. The only fly in the ointment is that my ddog isn't very well, something g neurological that's needs an mri, we're just waiting for an appointment m, so fingers crossed