Does anyone ever regret having baby number 3?

[babybrain77]

DH and I are divided on the issue of whether our family is complete. We both keep going back and forth. We are lucky enough to have 2 gorgeous children and we are just starting to feel like it's getting easier again.

On the one hand, I count my blessings every day and we are just about juggling childcare with two careers. On the other, I get this deep feeling of sadness thinking we might not do it all again.

Please share your experiences of going from 2 to 3 (or deciding to stay at 2!)...

I have three. Massive age gaps though, when I was pregnant with 3rd my older two were 17 and 6, people thought I was bonkers.

It’s wonderful, I was 40 so she’s my last. She’s 18 months now and none of us can imagine life without her. Her sibling adore her.

I wanted 2. Got twins after DS, I'm sad I never had the chance to experience (and potentially stick to) 2. I guess it'll also depend on age gaps etc but I'm always running and everything is a mission. In your position I would stop at 2 but perhaps my advice doesn't come from the right place.

I had DD1 at 31 and DD2 at 35. As soon as DD2 was born I felt like I wanted a third, I’d never felt that way before. DH was not keen, but we kept on checking in and discussing it over the next four years. I wrestled with the pros and cons all the time, avidly read every ‘third child’ thread I could find on the internet. Being blisteringly honest, I risked spoiling /missing parts of the baby stages of the children I actually had in front of me, by agonising about this phantom third child.

You will never know the outcome of the path you didn’t take. We weighed it all up. Because our choices involved assisted conception, with all the attendant uncertainty, we decided to stop at two, and put our energy fully into the two children we had. For me, and for us, I think that was the right decision.

I am now mid forties. The energy that I had has disappeared, mainly due to contracting a new chronic and debilitating illness, and it’s as much as we can do to afford, keep up with, and support the two children that we have – now a key stage two child and a preteen. As others have said, the emotional support, the ferrying to and from clubs and activities, and the school work can be a full-time job in itself.

I wish you and your family the best of luck with whatever decision you make.

I adore having two. I think it is wonderful (coming from a mum that wanted a third and wanted a third until my second was 3). I seriously do not have any regrets, I am so glad it didn't happen.

Not for one second! Though I cried to the doctor as I was so scared after the previous birth and was so worried I'd have another preemie.

He wasn't a preemie and is the easiest of them all!

I hear this all the time that one is always left out if you have 3 but I have to say I don’t understand it. Left out of what? And since when are kids activities only done in pairs.

I do agree 2 is easier! Also you don’t need ‘one parent for each child’ especially if the oldest is old enough to look after themselves. A reasonably large age gap can come in handy in this situation. Mine have 4 years and will have 5 years when third one comes along and it’s nice as the older one is at school giving you some calm and time with baby.

I think the financial aspects might be harder to reconcile if you spend a lot of money on your children - activities, schooling etc