How old would you guess this child was?

[Ohdoleavemealone]

Some of her behaviours include...

Stripping off as soon as she gets home

Being more interested in boxes of polystyrene than her toys

Having a tantrum every time she is told she cannot have something

Repeatedly asking for something she know she cannot have, and not giving up even when told no 4 times until shouted at and then goes and cries.

Hits out at people rather than using her words

Takes 30 minutes to eat a small bowl of cereal (won't have milk and eats cheerios one at a time)

Calls parents "mama and dada"

Likes to be held like a baby

Breaks most toys she owns

Thinking about the behaviour perhaps of your own child, I am wondering what age these behaviours are typical of - I know it is difficult as children develop at different rates but I am concerned about my child.

Typical of three-year-old but as PP have said, some 4-5 yr olds regress when they start school or if they have a new sibling, they want and need to revert to being babyish themselves.

I was still carrying my two up to bed when they were aged about 8. they used to get so tired suddenly and they wanted an excuse for a long hug, as did I.

2

My 5 year old DN is exactly like this. No trauma or any history of anything out of the ordinary so I think it can definitely be normal for a 5 year old

Nt child? 2-3
Sn child ...well it could be any age i guess

If she was in foster care as a young child she very likely has attachment difficulties. Others have mentioned ASD but attachment difficulties can present similarly. Are you able to afford therapy privately for her? If not there are charities who may be able to offer therapy.

@Ohdoleavemealone

Thanks everyone. It seems I should seek some support. She is 6.5 and had a rough start to life in the foster system. Due to that we were always told she may be emotionally delayed by 12-18 months but I feel some of her behaviour is odd even for 5 year olds.

You need to be careful re. the shouting you mention.

I do not think her behaviour odd after that explanation of early life experience.

I have twins who have just turned 3 and they do everything on your list! 😳

Stripping off as soon as she gets home
Ds was 6 in may and will happily wander round in just pants or pants and a top.

Being more interested in boxes of polystyrene than her toys he likes his toys but he def loves a pile of empty boxes

Having a tantrum every time she is told she cannot have something regular occurrence here

Repeatedly asking for something she know she cannot have, and not giving up even when told no as above

Hits out at people rather than using her words no but hit himself on the odd occasion and does physically act out - throwing something or stomping etc

Takes 30 minutes to eat a small bowl of cereal (won't have milk and eats cheerios one at a time) I spend my life telling DS to eat, eat DS, DS sit and eat, sit down and swallow DS. Def no milk on cereal

Calls parents "mama and dada" ds does this lots, especially when tired no but this isn't the kind of thing that would worry me

Likes to be held like a baby He loves to pretend to be a baby but he has baby siblings so I think it's that.

So I'd assume a similar age. However we are looking to get DS assessed, he has a lot of medical trauma for the first 18 months esp, was prem and has some underlying medical issues so yes, I'd say its worth speaking to paeds just to see if they'll review her

[quote Ohdoleavemealone]@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry
Example of what I mean
"mama can I have buiscuits?"
No, tea is nearly ready
"please mama"
No, wait until after tea
"Pleaseeee"
No
"Just one?"
Not until after tea
"please just one mama"
No
Pleaseeeeeeee
NO![/quote]
This is quite common. Dd is 8 and behaves like this at times. Especially when she is overtired.

I guess a couple of things strike me...
1 you say she suffered trauma at birth, are you able to give more info?
2 it is very common for adopted kids to regress in times of stress especially if they are aware of having been adopted. You mention she had a rough time in the Foster system so she may remember this time.

How does she behave at school?

My DC say mama and dada and they’re teenagers! Teen DD sometimes gets on my lap…

I haven’t read any of the thread apart from your original post but the behaviours you describe sound like Autism Spectrum to me.

3 or 4

My grandson is 6 and has been recently diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. This is a pretty accurate description of him.

Oh bless her. She sounds like she has attachment issues and she's constantly testing boundaries. Stay strong, stay calm.
Is there any talk or play therapy you can sign her up for?

Sounds like my 2.5yr old

Under 6

It is similar behaviour to children I work with who have social, emotional and mental health difficulties, usually trauma based and sometimes with additional diagnoses such as ADHD. However, all my students are older, we generally don’t work with children aged 6.5, the couple we do have more severe behaviour than you describe. I think at her age it is certainly possible that it is a slight delay.

Sounds similar to my youngest, who along with her older brother, both adopted by us and both diagnosed with FASD (Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) after they joined our family. Also agree with previous posts re attachment issues, with our two it can be hard to try and figure out which behaviours are which, and how best to support them. Would suggest you ask GP for referral to paediatrician to consider FASD, and contact post adoption social worker for their support. We had Theraplay and Life Story work via the Adoption Support Fund which has been useful.

Have you tried different types of milk with her cereal? Maybe there’s one she might like? What if she eats it one by one because she really hates the texture or taste? Have you tried to offer her different breakfast foods? Is she perhaps lactose intolerant? Children who are not NT sometimes cam benefit from digestion support such as fermented cabbage, enzymes, pro and prebiotics. I grew up in foster care in Romania and I still want to be babied as a 38 yo adult.

For an adopted child, her behaviour is very understandable. I suggest you come over to the adoption board, and ring post-adoption support if you're struggling.

My 2.5 year old behaves like this sometimes.

My 5.5 year old does some
Of this.

It sadly is very hard to get a FASD diagnosis but the with figures for the number of children in care being exposed to alcohol
Being so high it’s almost a given, but yes it’s so similar to other things & all interlinked. Try speaking to the FASD HUB at adoption UK. Sound like it might all come down to a combination of things as it often does with kids who’ve experienced what your wee one has.

For a 5 yo with the background you describe I think that doesn't sound out of the ordinary.

My ds could be like this up to about 7 - he has ADHD and definitely reverts to a more 'babyish' persona when anxious/stressed/over-tired.

We had some success with social stories and some play therapy... Along the lines of "after school I can change into my comfy clothes in my room. I can have a snack (of fruit or whatever) and a drink. We have our tea at X time...." And so on.