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Original poster

How do I pee in this situation?

127 replies

Moonbabysmum · 17/01/2022 12:21

I'm going on my first 'long' drive solo with my children (2.5 and 4.5) soon. I'm a relatively new driver, and its a 3.5-4hr drive, setting off early evening. The hope is that the children fall asleep on the way (amd stay asleep).

Obviously I'm going to need to stop off for at least 1 break, and will inevitably need to wee at some stage. I can't leave them in the car whilst I go to the services, and I really don't want to wake 2 dozy children/carry two kids in.

How do I pee?

Am I going to literally have to wee in a potty in a deserted part of the car park? 😳🤢

Am i missing a trick here?

OP posts:
PlayDohDots · 17/01/2022 18:58

Stop in layby Open front and back door of passenger side Get in between the 2 doors

With all respect, the whole premise of having to wake kids up for a toilet break is for their safety. You have to weigh the pros and cons of something potentially "happening" to your kids inside a LOCKED car for the 60 seconds you are gone in a public toilet. The alternative would be something happening to you while in the toilet, and you are incapacitated for so long that you are no longer able to return to your car before the kids wake up. The risk of both scenarios are unpleasant but vanishingly small.

Some of the suggestions in this thread are bonkers. People are basically saying women deserve to piss themselves in diapers or leave BOTH CAR DOORS OPEN in a deserted lay-by in the dark to urinate on the ground rather than commit the unforgivable parenting sin of taking their eyes off their children for two minutes. There is an equal chance of something terrible happening to you while squatting behind a bush in a parking lot. In that scenario the car doors are unlocked, both kids are inside and you are incapable of defending yourself.

The most logical solution would be to find a rest station that's not too crowded and park as close to the loos as possible. If both kids are sleeping, just jump out of the car making sure it's locked. Dash to the loo and come back which will take around 1-2 minutes. Kids are probably safer in a locked car than being taken into a public highway toilet at night.

elelel · 17/01/2022 19:01

I'm surprised at all these people with she wee/tub to pee in or pee at the side of the road suggestions. Just wake them and take them in if you need to stop for a pee. It's not a big deal.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/01/2022 19:11

@elelel

I'm surprised at all these people with she wee/tub to pee in or pee at the side of the road suggestions. Just wake them and take them in if you need to stop for a pee. It's not a big deal.
Yeah cos dragging a toddler and a preschooler out the car fast asleep into the cold air so waking them up fully so you can pee and then expecting them to settle back down and sleep is a GREAT idea 😂

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Original poster
Moonbabysmum · 17/01/2022 19:13

Ffs, im not a wee troll. It was just something I was angsting over recently, being something I've not had to think of before.

I had no idea it would generate 5 pages of discussion. Im not after people's stories, and of course people should be aware in case perverts take interest in accounts people give. But I'm not a pervert, and have been round for years.

The solutions (as varied as they are) may be obvious to some people, but being ill in successive pregnancies, and then a pandemic meant I travelled little independently with children before learning to drive, and now I can drive, its a whole new world for me to explore, but its also a slightly disconcerting freedom. I want to get over my inclination to stay close to home, and this trip will hopefully be the first of many, and I can finally travel with my sprogs.

Im not going to risk feeling dehydrated or ending up with a uti by not drinking. I'm certainly not going to pee into a nappy or pee myself whilst driving. I probably will go discreetly if I need to, in whichever of the remaining ideas seems most sensible at the time. I fully expect I will need to pee though, as there's nothing like it being awkward to make you want to go.

If this were fb, I'd probably have turned off commenting by now, as I've got my answer, as amusing as this conversation has become.

OP posts:
elelel · 17/01/2022 19:26

Yeah cos dragging a toddler and a preschooler out the car fast asleep into the cold air so waking them up fully so you can pee and then expecting them to settle back down and sleep is a GREAT idea 😂

Not sure what you are laughing at here?

It's fine to wake your kids to take them into the services so you can use the toilet. I'm not saying it's a 'GREAT' idea, but it's a practical solution to needing a piss.

fuckoffImcounting · 17/01/2022 19:29

Tena pants super will hold a big wee. You can just rip them off (they tear at the sides) when you are done, or keep them on - they wick the wee away from your bum so you don't feel damp. I have worn them on demonstrations - in case we get kettled. Takes all the anxiety away and so you don't even want to wee as much. You need to wear something that covers your bum as they are a bit bulky.

PlayDohDots · 17/01/2022 20:18

I want to get over my inclination to stay close to home, and this trip will hopefully be the first of many, and I can finally travel with my sprogs.

OP as you mentioned not having much experience driving with small children, please don't underestimate the stress that road fatigue and screaming/crying in the car might have. The jackpot is when both children are asleep and you can focus on driving in peace. I'm shocked at the number of people here who suggest waking up two small children just for the loo and then expecting them to settle back asleep in a relatively unfamiliar/uncomfortable environment. The chances of one of them kicking off is probably over 90% whereas the chances of something terrible happening to them while sleeping in a locked car is 0.00001%.

I have a lot of experience driving DD since birth (2-3 hour journey, every 2 weeks) and the most dangerous situation occurs when she's crying/whining, I'm tired and the conditions outside are not ideal (dark, rain etc). In my eyes, the risk to both of us from poor driving conditions is FAR higher than the infinitesimal "stranger danger" risk of something happening at a lay-by. If she falls asleep then I would avoid waking her at all costs for the safety of the onward journey. There has only been one time I really needed the loo and I did what I posted above. Parked right in front of a clean and safe looking service station, jumped out, and was back within 90 seconds. She slept soundly through the whole thing. and there wasn't a single car or person near us who noticed or cared that there was a toddler sleeping in the backseat.

Another tip for your journey is always to keep small sweets or toys at hand. Just in case one of the kids wakes up while you're in the loo, or anytime during the journey, you can buy some time with a treat so they don't throw a tantrum.

OldWivesTale · 17/01/2022 20:22

Small bucket and get down in the passenger seat footwell. You'll need to find a quiet corner of a services car park. Then tip it out. I've done this before when the kids were really little.

DappledThings · 17/01/2022 20:24

You have to weigh the pros and cons of something potentially "happening" to your kids inside a LOCKED car for the 60 seconds you are gone in a public toilet.
It's not the worry about the unlikely event something would happen to them. I couldn't leave them for the minimum 5 minutes it would take to get inside the services, find the loo, get back again because of the much more likely event they would wake up and be terrified when they realised they were in the car, alone, in the dark not knowing where they were or where I was. I don't think my 4 and 6 year old are particularly more sensitive or nervous than others but that would have them sobbing and unsettled for a long time.

gunnersgold · 17/01/2022 20:25

She wee and a bottle in the car !

Original poster
Moonbabysmum · 17/01/2022 20:44

@PlayDohDots

Yes, I'll be avoiding waking them at all costs. Im new at driving, but very experienced at failing to get my toddler to sleep (if woken, she tends to stay awake for another 3 hours, precisely...).

I remember driving in holiday, when I was learning, just trying to get practice in. We got lost after ending up on a diversion that petered out, toddler was having a tantrum, and 4yo crying because her tablet ran out of battery. There are definitely extra things to experience learning later in life. Its pretty stressful, thank you for the tips.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 17/01/2022 20:53

It's fine to wake your kids to take them into the services so you can use the toilet. I'm not saying it's a 'GREAT' idea, but it's a practical solution to needing a piss. it's incredibly short sighted (they're going to be cranky, it'll take far more time and they won't go back to sleep) and a little selfish (we'll I could do something a little awkward for me but my comfort is more important than keeping my kids asleep and chilled)

elelel · 17/01/2022 21:37

It's not selfish to wake a child from their sleep, in the car, while you go to the bathroom.

Honestly I think people on here have lost sight of reality. Imagine calling someone selfish for this.

SleepingStandingUp · 18/01/2022 09:45

Sorry but I do think it's sensors to wake everyone else up and drag them out into the cold because you only want to pee on a toilet.. Op is choosing to travel in the middle of the night for her convenience. She could go the next morning when the kids are awake but in understandably doesn't want to. I'm not suggesting she shouldn't pee like the people saying just don't drink. She def should get plenty of fluids, t to for rest breaks etc but she can safely and sensibly do that without waking the kids up every time. No one's suggesting she pees in her hands and takes it with her for goodness sake

elelel · 18/01/2022 09:47

The middle of the night? She is leaving at 6:30/7pm and regardless of where that fits in terms of usual bedtimes it's absolutely not the middle of the night

jalopy · 18/01/2022 09:48

Double plastic bag with wads of tissues to absorb.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 18/01/2022 09:52

I used to do this every 6 weeks or so. Just take the dc with you. IME they’ll wake up when you get to your destination anyway. If they are school age, surely a bit big to carry from the car to bed without disturbing.

HPLikecraft · 18/01/2022 10:33

I can't believe people are calling mothers who stop to pee selfish, FFS. Children can go back to sleep if they need to.

Original poster
Moonbabysmum · 18/01/2022 10:54

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads - eldest is 4 and still transfers.

@SleepingStandingUp - but going on the middle of the night but 7pm. We aren't going then for my convenience - going the next day would mean 4 very boring hours for the children in the car, when awake, vs going at bedtime and sleeping through most of the journey. Much nicer for them.

@HPLikecraft - sure kids can go back to sleep, but when my youngest wakes in the evening, if often takes her 3, hours to get back again. I'd much rather avoid that unsurprisingly.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 18/01/2022 11:04

@HPLikecraft

I can't believe people are calling mothers who stop to pee selfish, FFS. Children can go back to sleep if they need to.
No one is saying she's selfish for needing to pee.

Some people have suggested if she doesn't drink she won't need to pee.
Lots of people have pointed out she needs to drink and have a break.
Lots of people have made suggestions on how to pee without dragging the kids out of the car in the middle of the night

SleepingStandingUp · 18/01/2022 11:06

@Moonbabysmum sorry I wasn't criticising your timing, just meant it was your call for what would make the journey the easiest, not their call. Although that early will they even sleep all of it? If you're doing after school rehearsal will you need to stop for dinner?

HPLikecraft · 18/01/2022 11:28

No one is saying she's selfish for needing to pee

You used the word selfish several times!!
Seeing to unavoidable bodily functions with a degree of comfort and dignity is a pretty basic expectation for most.

SmellyOldOwls · 18/01/2022 12:10

@suzy2b

Years ago when pregnant with 2nd child was sat in car while exh and son where picking strawberry's I needed to pee we were not anywhere near a loo so got one of sons nappies and peed into that it worked
I have also done this Blush
SleepingStandingUp · 18/01/2022 12:34

@HPLikecraft

No one is saying she's selfish for needing to pee

You used the word selfish several times!!
Seeing to unavoidable bodily functions with a degree of comfort and dignity is a pretty basic expectation for most.

I think it's selfish to drag them out in the middle of the night when there's plenty of reasonable alternatives. Crossing her legs and not peeing isn't one of them. Using something like a she wee or travel John and hand sanitizer is.

Although seems it isn't the middle of the night and it seems a reasonable chance she can do a rest stop for them all before they go to sleep.

sillysmiles · 18/01/2022 17:10

Wee in a paper cup, throw in grass (not the cup)

If you are peeing into a cup - why not just pee directly onto the grass? Less risk of peeing on your hands!

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