Best ever typos/mistakes

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Just a bit of fun… I was reminded of a famous one from our local Facebook group today. A woman had posted about how she was having a terrible problem with slugs coming into her house, and did anyone have any tips on getting rid of them. Unfortunately she’d accidentally typed ‘slags’ instead of slugs Cue much laughter at how she’d tried putting salt down, but it still didn’t help 😆

Another favourite is from a forum I used to use years ago. One poster got into an argument with another and told her she was acting like a prima donna. What made this a slightly less cutting insult was the fact that she’d written it as ‘pre-Madonna’. Perhaps she was accusing her of behaving like Debbie Harry

When I emailed my boss about mechanical pencils and fine liner pen we needed for work.

And instead of writing “this pen is….” I typed “this penis”

He then bursts into hysterical laughter. And giggles out loud “she’s a penis expert”

🤣🤣 I ached from laughing that day. And whenever we order new pens someone says “ask the penis expert, she’ll know which ones to buy”

That’s reminded me of when I narrowly avoided emailing someone to tell them my boss was very busty

To our female Assistant Director:

'I appreciate that you're very busty' instead of busy. Thankfully she has a sense of humour.

Nurse here - told a patient once he had minimal orgasms so could have his steroid treatment
I meant organisms

My dad's favourite typo story is when he was organising a mailshot in the 90s using early Word. He'd made both a typo on the spreadsheet and the merge didn't work properly. Instead of 'Dear Mr Bullock', it simply went out as 'Dear Bollock'

There was one on here recently where an OP's fella had a "pork addiction".

Posted in a slimming world support group
That I was very pleased with how I managed to eat loads of vag over the weekend,loads more than usual.... 😂

A friend on FB updated her status with "Just had a really hard shit at work" ...she missed the F out of shift!

When I was selling lottery tickets, a customer made an unfortunate Spoonerism and asked for "two ducky lips" instead of two lucky dips". I really hoped he would laugh about it, but he looked so embarrassed!

So many.

Colleague wrote about pubic finances. We publish direct to the web but luckily was picked up during a random review.

I was writing about the discount rate but autocorrect failed and what I actually wrote was discocunt.

At lot of our reports include the word "public" somewhere.

It's waaaaay too easy to type "pubic" instead, and of course spell check doesn't pick it up.

My favourite ever was from DYAC; someone meant to type Jesus, Mary and Joseph; but they typed Jesus, Mary and Jerome. I HOWLED for hours!

I laughed til I snorted today when I googled “outdoor shutters uk” but actually searched “outdoor shitters uk”

I work in the public sector pensions arena. Two opportunities for typos there! Luckily I haven’t made them but I have seen both.

An ex emailed a client advising to shit down the computer

There will be no hockey after school today due to unplayable bitches.

My favourite ever was in our local newspaper, probably about 20 years ago now. (Blimey.). It was a correction, and read:

The Localtown Gazette wishes to correct a crime report which appeared in last week's edition, regarding a theft from Terry Bloggs Carpets. Over £10,000 worth of rugs were stolen, not, as we reported, drugs. We apologise unreservedly to Mr Bloggs for the confusion this has caused.

I once typed an email to Todger instead or Roger

@tobypercy it sounds like we work in similar environments :)

My phone autocorrected the start of an email for me, so instead of Shirley I began with “Dear Shitty”

Was typing on phone, in a rush, and didn’t even notice it. It was to my solicitor 🤦🏻‍♀️

There was a meme going round during the lockdowns, a screenshot of some bloke’s post who was giving it large saying nobody could stop him doing what he wanted, ‘seeing my mates, shagging, my dogs’

Sadly for him he forgot the comma between ‘shagging’ and ‘my dogs’

Way back many decades ago when dictaphones were widely used, I typed a letter to the Countess of Éire having mistaken the dulcet tones of my boss who has actually said, the ‘County Surveyor’.

My son's nursery once sent out a note to parents about the new activity they had introduced "the children will be shitting on our bright new carpet at story time".

The teacher who sent a very aggressively written letter home to all of us year 3 parents saying

I am fed up with dealing with wet and soggy children could all parents please remember to send your child to school with their willies and make sure they use them when it’s wet!

We all laughed and she did have the good grace to come out at home time and apologise - lots of laughter all round!

I once knew a very nasty man called Mr Pettit and the HT wrote him a letter Dear Mr Petty - he didn’t see the funny side - but said parent was very very petty!