Best ever typos/mistakes

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Just a bit of fun… I was reminded of a famous one from our local Facebook group today. A woman had posted about how she was having a terrible problem with slugs coming into her house, and did anyone have any tips on getting rid of them. Unfortunately she’d accidentally typed ‘slags’ instead of slugs Cue much laughter at how she’d tried putting salt down, but it still didn’t help 😆

Another favourite is from a forum I used to use years ago. One poster got into an argument with another and told her she was acting like a prima donna. What made this a slightly less cutting insult was the fact that she’d written it as ‘pre-Madonna’. Perhaps she was accusing her of behaving like Debbie Harry

@Goawayangryman

So many.

Colleague wrote about pubic finances. We publish direct to the web but luckily was picked up during a random review.

I was writing about the discount rate but autocorrect failed and what I actually wrote was discocunt.

@Goawayangryman Thankyou. I am alone at a table in a fairly busy, but quiet bar waiting for my partner to finish a meeting. Think lots of low level chatter and Astrud Gilberto playing at a volume you can hold a conversation over, I have a nice Mojito in front of me.

I read 'discocunt' and promptly made a LOUD sort of half strangled honk-laugh.

It'll be fine. Almost nobody is looking at me.

Favourite one in a recent CV in the skills section "computer illiterate".
Unfortunate.

We have a system at work called splunk which you can pull reports off. I emailed the senior team advising how they could pull the data they required from 'spunk' 😂😂🤦🏼‍♀️. One of them replied all and just put TYPO and had highlighted the work red. At least they found It funny!

Someone of small stature at work called Tony, I emailed him and said 'Ho Tiny'. !

Text a client ages ago who I was meeting in the pub after work. All above board. He worked offshore and was back after 4 weeks away. I was running late so he asked me what I wanted to drink when I said I was 5 minutes away. I text back to say coke please but I text cock please.

He found it hilarious. I was mortified.

My job involves using the word 'count' quite a lot.

You can work it out....

Not a typo, but still made me laugh. When I worked at a call centre, my mate was replying to complaint emails once. The guy didn't add his name, just his email address, which began Shithead1996.

My friend started the email with "Dear Shithead".

Not a typo but a mistranslation, still funny/embarrassing

A friend texted her work saying she couldn't come because she had a really bad cold. Except cold in portuguese is what is called a "false friend" in english. She said she had constipation!!!!

My favourite is still a fellow mumsnetter who made boil in the vag curry

Got an email with the menu for the work canteen - veg that day was "minge tout"...

Years ago at work, one of our suppliers wrote
‘I would like to take this opportunity to show you our new range of shits’ (instead of shirts)
I thought it was hilarious, my boss didn’t. No sense of humour obviously.

Twenty odd years ago when I was at university I didn't have a computer. I used to hand write essays, which was fine unless they were for an assessment, when they had to be typed. No problem, we had a shared computer room in the library. Unfortunately on the computer I was using, someone presumably as a joke ha d set it to autocorrect 'but' to 'bum' each time. A fact I didn't realise until the essay was returned to me by an irate tutor - she did at least let me correct it before resubmitting!

My kids' nursery once put in their newsletter 'please can all children bring their willies so they can have fun outside'

@Hails68

I once wrote back to a very irate client "I have pissed on your letter of complaint". I obviously meant passed on

So funny!!

My ex was called Wayne, It once auto corrected his name to 'wanker' so I basically text him 'Hi wanker, could you pick up some milk on your way home'

The cafe at my work sells a burger with "slithers" of onion

I found 'viagra' on our Alexa shopping list... says I 'DH don't you need a prescription if you want that stuff - I don't think Tesco will deliver it?' DH 'f** off I didn't put that on the shopping list!!!' Turns out it was the cleaning lady trying to add 'Viakal'. When I told her we fell around the place laughing... and now the Viakal is forever known as viagra in our house.

Back in the day. "Please find enclosed my floppy dick"

Just come back from a ball entitled Gitz and Glamour.

Luckily didn't meet any!! 😛

A colleague in a previous job loved to shortened words. There were many raised eyebrows when her monthly analysis report was emailed round with the subject as "Monthly Anal". Bless her, she had no idea!

@DropYourSword

The cafe at my work sells a burger with "slithers" of onion

I think that's ok.

I used to have a colleague called Marcus. In a lengthy email divvying up bits of a project and sent to a lot of colleagues autocorrect changed it to ‘mascara’ throughout.
When my mum died the young boy who saw her lying in her garden (she went the ‘perfect’ way) ran and told his mum “‘herons mum’ is dead”. Neighbour misheard as ‘deaf’ and said “she probably just doesn’t have her hearing aid in”.

That when told to us a few days later by neighbour all respectful and gentle when we asked for exactly what had happened had us absolutely in stitches - laughing and crying. Still makes me laugh now years later. Mum would have laughed too. Bloody hell !

It’s not okay *@TheOrigRights. it should be ‘slivers’. Slither is what a snake does!!

@ChessieFL

It’s not okay *@TheOrigRights**. it should be ‘slivers’. Slither is what a snake does!!

It made me think of a slither of onion on a brain burger - served up by Hannibal ! 😂