Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What on earth is happening?

53 replies

EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 14:44

Things have started going missing around the home, to the extent I think I'm going mad.

Firstly, an item of make-up disappeared completely. It wasn't super expensive, nor desirable (just some primer). But I always kept it in the exact same place within my make-up bag. I have looked under the cupboards, under the sink, anywhere it could potentially be. Nada.

Then my daughter's wallet went missing. I'm giving this one a free pass at the moment because my children are rubbish at remembering where they've put things, and the playroom looks like it's been burgled.

Then my sewing kit disappeared. It's always kept in the same drawer in a bookshelf in the study. I VERY RARELY SEW.

Worst (or at least, if someone is taking stuff, most embarrassing of all), my vibrator has gone. Just... gone. I keep it in my bedside cupboard, as you do. I wouldn't take it anywhere. It's not like I give it an outing to the shops every few days. Husband swears it's not a practical joke.

So, who has access to my house? My husband. Very limited interest in either sewing, make-up or vibrators. Very unlikely to be DD6 or DD8. Neither has any interest in make-up (and if they did, primer wouldn't be the first port of call), and they just aren't going to take a vibrator... DD's tutor, who is never left alone and certainly never goes upstairs. Ditto a plumber who only came to the kitchen. We do have a cleaner, but come on, why would she take second-hand make up or - worse - a second hand sex toy?!

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

OP posts:
SkunkButRug · 13/01/2022 14:48

This sounds very odd indeed Confused
People seem to have luck with praying, is it St Anthony? Worth a try...

Havilland · 13/01/2022 14:49

Children do take and hide things. Just because she might not know what primer and a vibrator are it doesn’t mean one of your daughters wouldn’t take and hide.

EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 14:51

@Havilland

Children do take and hide things. Just because she might not know what primer and a vibrator are it doesn’t mean one of your daughters wouldn’t take and hide.
That's true. I will have a chat with them later. They both have crappy poker faces so I will know straight away if they're telling the truth or not.

Also, I clear their rooms out regularly, and haven't noticed either of them being cagey about a "stash". I would say I'm 99% sure it's not either of them.

OP posts:
EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 14:51

@SkunkButRug

This sounds very odd indeed Confused People seem to have luck with praying, is it St Anthony? Worth a try...
I'm not sure he'd be happy to hear from a massive ol' atheist... Grin
OP posts:
Frostine · 13/01/2022 14:54

If you are sure these items are not around then unfortunately you have to start thinking who you have had in the house lately , even if it's friends / dcs friends who are regular visitors to your house.

EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 15:36

Also giggling on the school run at the idea of praying to St Anthony to find my vibrator!

OP posts:
Useresque · 13/01/2022 16:36

A kleptomanic OW - LTB Grin

Mamamamasaurus · 13/01/2022 16:44

It's in the same place as the PP's ironing board.

HTH

EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 16:51

@Useresque

A kleptomanic OW - LTB Grin
I mean, if either of us ever left the house, that's not a bad shout. Working from home is proving really difficult for people to have affairs these days eh? One more casualty of Covid... Grin
OP posts:
HumourReplacementTherapy · 13/01/2022 16:53

Someone with long-lasting make up, money in their pocket and a smile on their face?

Cas112 · 13/01/2022 16:53

More than likely its going to be one of your children

EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 16:54

@Cas112

More than likely its going to be one of your children
I had a chat to the kids earlier today asking if they were playing a game (they sometimes hide one of my slippers and think it's hilarious). Both of them looked incredulous as to why I was even asking them.

I know there will be some people who remain convinced it is one of the children. I'm now equally convinced it's not.

OP posts:
EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 16:55

@HumourReplacementTherapy

Someone with long-lasting make up, money in their pocket and a smile on their face?
Grin
OP posts:
steppemum · 13/01/2022 17:00

sadly, the only one left is the cleaner.

But I would be careful with any accusations, as there may be another explanation.
You could ask - have you seen my make up/sewing kit? I am sure they were in x place and they have gone?
But if it is her, she would probably just say no.

EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 17:10

Even more awkwardly, the cleaner is a mum from school.

I really don't think it's likely she's doing a line in second hand vibrators.

OP posts:
Mamamamasaurus · 13/01/2022 17:16

@EngimaticDisappearance

Even more awkwardly, the cleaner is a mum from school.

I really don't think it's likely she's doing a line in second hand vibrators.

You realise there's a whole demand online for this kind of thing?

I have a friend who sells her worn knickers. I'm just saying.....

EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 17:20

OMG. Someone is making money from my used vibrator.

Doesn't explain the sewing kit or mid-market primer though.

Unless men are even more perverse than I gave them credit for.

OP posts:
pastabest · 13/01/2022 17:23

It's the children.

I had something similar happen. Random items like the bathroom scales, yoga cushion my (clean) mooncup and my work headset. All found stashed in a drawer in their bedroom. They had been asked and 'truthfully' said they didn't know where they were because they had no idea what they were called, they were just interesting trinkets to them.

ButterflyBitch · 13/01/2022 17:24

Ok this is weird! The same thing is happening in my house. Two pairs of my sons school trousers, forks (!) and my daughters library book. Disappeared into thin bloody air. Can’t find them for love nor money. So can’t help I’m afraid but solidarity.

EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 17:27

Oh yes! One of my daughter's pyjama tops too!

Initially assumed it had got caught up with static with something else in the laundry, but it's been over a month now and we haven't found it yet.

(Other daughter to missing wallet so unlikely to be one of them playing tricks.)

We are not the sort of family that regularly misplaces things. (Other than the playroom, which is a disaster zone, hence free pass for the kid's wallet.)

OP posts:
iklboo · 13/01/2022 17:30

Also giggling on the school run at the idea of praying to St Anthony to find my vibrator!

Me, too! 'Yo, Tony! You seen my buzzing buddy anywhere?'

Wagsandclaws · 13/01/2022 17:33

Gosh? Yes it leaves the cleaner? Or the children or your Dh Confused

I mean all the things I could think hmmm maybe they borrowed the sewing kit for scissors or something but a vibrator !??? Probably not. Are you sure you didn't take it in the shower or something?

Is worry more if the missing bits start to turn up in very odd places like the middle of the table or floor!

MrsPear · 13/01/2022 17:42

I would sort out the play room - and when I say sort I mean sort. Everything pulled out and put back. I bet you will find everything.

AnxiousPixie · 13/01/2022 17:53

Clearly you need to set up a camera trap with a replacement second hand dildo you've bought off eBay!

EngimaticDisappearance · 13/01/2022 18:04

@AnxiousPixie

Clearly you need to set up a camera trap with a replacement second hand dildo you've bought off eBay!
I mean, that's just the next logical step, right?
OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread