Kids growing up, feel a bit weird and lost - how to feel myself again

[MoominToenail]

Need a bit of help I think to centre myself. Beneficial for them too. I work full time, currently from home as does DH. Feeling quite sad and purposeless at the moment (probably menopause related). Anyone else felt like this and what did you do that helped? Feeling quite weepy and I really can’t go on like this, something has to change.

I can completely relate, this was me 5 years ago

Rediscover you. DH and I started going for long picnic walks every weekend. We’ll drive anywhere up do about 1.5 hrs away and have been discovering our countryside.
Then alone I started scuba diving, but covid put pause to that just after I’d shelled out for a dry suit.
Swimming, aiming for at least one swim a week in open water, but don’t start the open water now wait for it to warm up a bit. This particularly has been amazing in stopping menopause symptoms.

I also quit sugar which has definitely helped regulate my moods, except right now when I know my family have left all the friggin recycling on the kitchen work surface to ‘put away later’ (yeah right)

The easiest thing to start with is walking, and getting outside makes a massive difference. There’s a walk 1000 miles challenge that you could start, you’ve only 6 days to catch up on and it averages 2.8 miles a day.

Thanks for this. I walk a lot and try to get out every day. I’ve tried with sugar before but don’t know if it removes a small pleasure and makes me feel more empty! Had a (very brief!) swim on New Year’s Day and have been considering continuing!

If you’re a already a NYD swimmer, I completely recommend finding a local outdoor swimming group. Loads swim in skins but We tend to swim in wetsuit but within a couple of laps I always have this ridiculous grin on my face and interestingly at this time of year there are definitely more ladies Of our age. All the fit triathletes you get in the summer have moved indoors.

NY day was so warm - am still trying to work out if I have the courage to go when is properly cold. Hate wet suits too - really struggle to get in an out so that adds an extra consideration

I’ve got used to the wetsuit, but if you found NYD warm, it’s actually got a bit warmer since then. I’m in the SW our lake was 6 degrees on 30 dec and 8 degrees last Monday. I expect it will have stayed more or less the same. If you’re going to do no wetsuit, the standard advice at this time of year is 1 minute per degree, but the first challenge is to get in, move about a bit then get out. I started last April in a quarry that’s fully lifeguarded and the first time I literally did around 100m and got out and had a cuppa, by July I was doing 1.5k.

Hope you do it, I’m cheering you on all the way.

Oh and the brand of wetsuit makes a difference, mine is blueseventy and it seems to have much more flexibility than my friends.

Well it surely can't be a coincidence that 4 of my dc have left home and I have 4 ddogs..

Do you have any pets?

I had empty nest syndrome for a different reason to yours but now I have 3 cats and find them very comforting as they always need me. Would of gotten a dog but my DC aren't quite responsible just yet.

Got a puppy in the spring but that was actually a bit of a bind as couldn’t be walked very far for a while and we ended up stopping our family walks which haven’t really started again. He is very lovely though. Thanks for the wetsuit recommendation, am googling!