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Original poster

Why is my midwife trying to talk me out of epidural

348 replies

Melvin2021 · 03/01/2022 23:30

Hi I'm 38.5 weeks and I've been pretty certain from the off that I would like an epidural when in labor obviously if everything goes to plan. Mt midwife said I don't want one and to see how I get on? Has this happened to anyone else?

OP posts:
Joolsin · 04/01/2022 22:52

My DC1 was back-to-back. I had done all the ante-natal classes and learned all the breathing techniques, but they were useless, because anything more than a very shallow breath was agonising. So I ended up panicking and hyperventilating. When the epidural kicked in, the whole situation calmed down and I was able to have a much needed snooze until it was time to push.

BloomingTrees · 04/01/2022 23:52

I'd read up on all the risks, thought I wouldn't want one, would go natural etc but when it came to actually giving birth I was in so much pain with the contractions, by that point I didn't care what the risks were I just wanted it to stop. So I got my epidural which worked fine.

Childbirth is so unpredictable the best bet is to go with the flow.

BookFiend4Life · 04/01/2022 23:55

@MissM2912

It isn’t necessarily excruciating pain- honestly. It isn’t nice but with both my labours, one of which wasn’t great, at no point did I genuinely feel I couldn’t cope with the pain. The sorest part wasn’t the contractions but the head crowning and that honestly only lasts a few seconds.
Everyone experiences it differently surely

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MissM2912 · 05/01/2022 00:16

That’s why I said necessarily

SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 05/01/2022 00:24

Midwives like you to give birth on a couple of paracetamol and even then they'll act like you're a bit of a drama queen for needing them.

Consultants are like so do you fancy a section then or 🤷🏻‍♀️

sjxoxo · 05/01/2022 00:38

@SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree
This is my exact experience pretty much 😂 also I’ve found when I’ve asked midwives for information about potential interventions or procedures, it gets met with discouragement instead of information. I’ve found the antenatal courses I’ve done with midwives only really cover what happens in a ‘typical’ or ideal birth; ie you have contractions at home, you come in, you give birth vaginally with gas, air & a birthing ball. You breastfeed, you go home. I am very sceptical that this will be my reality somehow!!! X

sjxoxo · 05/01/2022 00:42

..at the same time I was doing these courses, I was meeting my consultant who was giving me leaflets on induction processes and growth scans trying to work out the weight of baby at due date.. it felt like two different worlds and tbh very confusing! At one point when I told my midwife I was probably looking at induction due to baby size, she said ‘we don’t offer that here’ yet my consultant did & im going in Friday morning to finalise that. If I’d only done the midwife course bit I would feel like I was walking into giving birth blind & unprepared for the reality to be honest x

Bambooshoot · 05/01/2022 01:26

I thought it was induction in first births that tends to lead to the “cascade of intervention”, rather than an epidural?

knitnerd90 · 05/01/2022 04:16

[quote Twizbe]@Ionlydomassiveones civilised countries?! Wtf?

You know one of those 'civilised countries' (the US) doesn't give women gas and air in labour because they don't know how to charge for it.

Our uncivilised country doesn't bankrupt women for having babies.

[/quote]
This isn't why they don't do it. I know someone who looked into it. They absolutely could charge for gas and air (and indeed I found an NPR article where someone was billed $4K for it!); they know how to charge for everything. It's a bit of a vicious circle: there isn't s culture of using nitrous, so no one asks for it, and because no one asks for it, there's no incentive to fit the hospital to deliver it safely. According to the article I just read there's been an uptick in American hospitals offering it.

While individual midwives have no financial incentive to deny women epidurals, the NHS as a whole does. People who work for a service may not show overt prejudice towards such pressures, but they do impact care.

Undertheoldlindentree · 05/01/2022 04:37

An epidural isn't the answer to everything. I had one recommended by the midwife during my first (very long) labour. The first epidural only took on one side, so had to be done again. Then everything slowed right down....so much so, that for the baby's health, I was whisked into emergency theatre and given a huge episiotomy and KRFD. Recovery was long and painful and I still have some effects from it now.

Subsequent births were just water pool with gas and air and though I felt the contractions strongly, they had more purpose...I could feel the progression and birth and recovery was much easier.

Undertheoldlindentree · 05/01/2022 04:38

Sorry....KRFD= rotational forceps

Wednesdayafternoon · 05/01/2022 05:31

So I had an epidural with my first after a very long labour. It came just at the right time as my body was completely shattered and the pain completely went away, it was incredible.
I ended up with a forcep or delivery.
With my second I had no epidural and dear for it was very painful. I completely regretted not having it at the time however my baby was BIG (9lbs13oz). The midwife explained that from her experience I had a epidural I probably would've ended up with forceps again because the discomfort gave me a lot of adrenaline and "motivation" to push harder then ever... and in hindsight she was completely correct!
If I was lucky enough tk have a third I wouldn't rule out an epidural but if you were to have one have it early because you'll need the extra energy to push!

MaryBoBary · 05/01/2022 05:58

Are midwives set a target for no of natural births vs assisted? I had horrible pressure during labour from midwife to not have an epidural "yes yes I'll call for anaesthetist in a while" etc, lots of winking to my OH that I'll be able to do it without. It makes me so angry. Also so much pressure to breastfeed "your baby is not a goat or a cow or a soya bean. It is a human. Therefore it needs human milk". I massively distrust midwives and feel they work to their own agendas, and patronise women in the process.

Lemonlady22 · 05/01/2022 07:27

I had one with my first and had an adverse reaction to it, thought I was going to die and my baby was going to die. Went from me, the midwife and the anaethetist in the room to a whole crash team attending....never again!

BDavis · 05/01/2022 08:14

@MaryBoBary

Are midwives set a target for no of natural births vs assisted? I had horrible pressure during labour from midwife to not have an epidural "yes yes I'll call for anaesthetist in a while" etc, lots of winking to my OH that I'll be able to do it without. It makes me so angry. Also so much pressure to breastfeed "your baby is not a goat or a cow or a soya bean. It is a human. Therefore it needs human milk". I massively distrust midwives and feel they work to their own agendas, and patronise women in the process.
@MaryBoBary I don’t think that’s fair to say of all midwives. It sounds like you had a bad experience - as did I with the first midwife assigned to me in labour and my first community midwife. My community midwife was awful - I’ve got no other word for her unfortunately. Then she went MIA and I was assigned another for after birth and she was really lovely and incredibly supportive. The midwife I was assigned in labour was horrific - mine a lady maybe in her late 50s and was incredibly forceful with her ideas and actually told me that I wasn’t allowed to progress with my induction (I was about to get the drip) without an epidural which I didn’t want or need at that point. She tried to tell me it would make my baby distressed if I chose not to get one. She called the anaesthetist and everything despite me saying no and kept shutting down my views with “well I’ve done this lots of times and you haven’t” 🙄 So I asked to speak to the head midwife and asked to be assigned someone different, which I was, and OMG the difference. She was an absolute angel! She was much younger (maybe late 20s/early 30s) and honestly could not have been more of an advocate for me having the birth and labour that I wanted. I felt 100% heard and respected from that point on. I’m really not sure if the age had anything to do with it? I’m not sure if training is different now and the older midwife was just quite stuck in her ways or if she was just being argumentative for the sake of it but I didn’t like her or trust her and I didn’t feel comfortable with her delivering our child.
Ionlydomassiveones · 05/01/2022 19:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

MaryBoBary · 05/01/2022 20:07

@BDavis you are right, I shouldn't tar them all with the same brush.

HoliHormonalTigerlilly · 05/01/2022 20:38

@MissM2912

I disagree- there is very good medical reasons why an epidural should be avoided if possible- this isn’t the midwife pushing own agenda it is medical fact. There is reams and reams written on it.
This.
Abelard40 · 05/01/2022 20:44

I have had two births - one with an epidural and one without. And I can tell you it wasn’t the epidural that made them so different, it was the position of the baby. My first was back to back, grinding agony - I laboured for two days before an epidural and it was the best thing ever. My second made me see what a ‘normal birth’ could be like and me feel less guilty about ‘giving in’ because when the baby is pinioned correctly it’s so much better. I mean there’s pain but nothing like back to back spine grinding pain.
You have to keep an open mind to needing it.

fitsandgiggles · 05/01/2022 20:46

I had one with my first, awful birth couldn't feel contractions was pushing for almost 3
Hours! Didn't with my second and although painful was Much better experience

VikingOnTheFridge · 05/01/2022 20:52

[quote HacerSonarSusPasos]@Soontobe60,

The very last sentence of the study you quoted:

It has also added that there is no effect on the CS delivery rates and the observed increase is due to the presence of confounding factors.

So there is correlation, but not causality. The say it plain as day.[/quote]
Yep.

Treat anyone who claims otherwise with profound suspicion OP.

UuijungKo · 06/01/2022 06:26

I had 3 normal very painful deliveries. One of them was an induction and no epidurals offered. I agree with you OP and other posters about Midwives dissuading women from having epidurals.

With my 4th baby, I put my foot down and refused to be patronised. I kept asking for it and breathed a sigh of relief when the anesthesiologist wheeled his trolley in. The birth was perfect, no pain, went smoothly. I couldnt feel a thing but just pushed really hard when the MW told me too. I wish I had epidurals for the first 3. Felt traumatised by those births.
Good luck OP. Hope it all goes well for you.

HacerSonarSusPasos · 06/01/2022 14:55

If men were the ones giving birth, do you think anyone would dare suggest they skip the pain relief?

I find it deeply mysoginistic to dismiss not only the amount of pain involved in labour, but also the deep psychological trauma that it can imprint on you.

If it was me facing the choice, i'd take the epidural 100% and a c section to go with it!

Hemingwayscatz · 06/01/2022 15:25

It’s because you can’t move at all once you’ve had one so you just lie there on your back which isn’t a natural position to Labour in at all. It often stops the Labour from progressing and there’s a much higher chance you’ll need assistance from forceps or ventouse. Also higher risk of c-section.

Hemingwayscatz · 06/01/2022 15:26

C-sections aren’t an easier option to vaginal birth. I’ve done both and c-section recovery isn’t the easy way out, it’s major abdominal surgery and it fucking hurts.