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Original poster

My DMs response to news we're getting a dog

103 replies

Catnuzzle · 31/12/2021 14:31

Since lockdown both me and DH work from home. I only work 3 days a week, he iccasionally pops into the office but I'm home all the time. I'm late 40s. 2 DDs (13 &11). We have two cats but have always wanted a dog. We've found one. We're rehoming from a family who can't provide the care he needs. He is perfect for us and hopefully we are for him. My husband and I both run, our DDs are animal mad.
I sent my mum a picture of him, his name and that he's coming to live with us. Her response? 'Why on earth are you getting a dog?'
I would have thought it was self-evident. Just another example to add to a veeeerrrrryyyy long list of why our relationship is strained.
Just wanted to rant.

OP posts:

eagerlywaitingfor · 31/12/2021 15:11

Your two cats will be thrilled to bits.

wheresmymojo · 31/12/2021 15:12

@eagerlywaitingfor

Your two cats will be thrilled to bits.

Are you OP's mum?

Original poster

Catnuzzle · 31/12/2021 15:12

Quorn - you did do it right! Twice as right

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Dogs

wheresmymojo · 31/12/2021 15:14

This was within one week of our cats and dog meeting and no food/treats/bribes involved at this point (I.e. cats we're choosing to do this, not doing it for a reward)

My DMs response to news we're getting a dog

ilovebagpuss · 31/12/2021 15:15

My parents seemed to be like this with pets especially at the mention of a dog. Yet we grew up with any number of pets! Dog,cat, budgie,ducks, rabbit etc.
I once sent my DM sadly no longer here a lovely picture of my DD holding a friends puppy and she said “back away back away”
Like she was holding a kilo of weed!
It’s definitely some sort of negativity as it often appeared at other announcements like if anyone mooted possibly getting a new job or car or moving house. Maybe a generational thing to do with risk but it did put a downer on lots of nice things.
I try really hard not to do it with my DD’s I can almost feel the comment sometimes but I don’t let it out.
They were lovely in all other respects.

Original poster

Catnuzzle · 31/12/2021 15:15

Wheres- that is good progress, hopefully with patience and time we'll get there too.

Eagerly - our cats are very much loved, they might be put out, but as they don't like each other (they're rescues we got at the same time) we thought they might bond over their mutual distaste of the dog!

OP posts:

Doggosaurus · 31/12/2021 15:21

That is a beautiful dog! You won’t regret it.

Croleeen · 31/12/2021 15:26

When I told my mum we were getting guinea pigs she said 'you'll have to get a cage and food'. Thanks mum.

mumofEandE · 31/12/2021 15:26

My DF and DM were furious that we got a dog (7 years ago now)
We were mid 40s and DC were 9 and 16 at the time.
They have been lifelong dog/cat haters

Fast forward to now and they buy DDog birthday/Christmas presents and DM will hand feed him treats and come on his walks.
When he was poorly they offered to pay for the vet.

DF still won't pet him but buys him treats and if in a coffee shop will save him some if his sausage/bacon sandwich

MrsWooster · 31/12/2021 15:27

Keep dog securely on the lead so the cats get to meet him, not vice versa. If they run /he chases in fun, it gets set in stone very fast…

BurntO · 31/12/2021 15:28

What a beauty! Take no notice. Just smile and crack on, it’ll annoy her even more

Dozer · 31/12/2021 15:29

Will your work now be permanently from home?

I don’t understand people getting dogs before their employer’s post covid HR policies are clear.

Hoppinggreen · 31/12/2021 15:33

While it does sound like your mother is just being negative you should realise that you aren’t just getting a pet you are having a major lifestyle change.
He is gorgeous but hopefully the person you are getting him from is being completely honest about the reasons for rehoming, that would be my main concern

diddl · 31/12/2021 15:41

@Catnuzzle

This is DDog. I know , he's beautiful 😍

Oh he is gorgeous!

What is he?

What's his name?

Surely the only response to "we are getting a dog" is "when can I come & see it & can I look after it in the holidays?"

FingChristmasFamily · 31/12/2021 15:42

He’s a beauty.

My mum isn’t a dog lover. She’s never been able to understand why we have dogs. Don’t worry about it. It’s not her that has to look after him.

When DM comes to visit I do respect the fact she isn’t keen and keep crazy, young collie away from her. She doesn’t mind the small calm old lady dogs so much though.

Original poster

Catnuzzle · 31/12/2021 15:52

Dozer, yes my work has confirmed we are predominantly wfh from now oon.with the very occasional meet up at my office which is 10 minutes from home, so even if I am in for the day I can pop home for lunch, plus FIL can also look after DDog or DH can arrange to be home if I'm not. But that's likely to be 3 or 4 days every year. We have waited to be sure we can provide the care DDog needs, which is why we've never had a dog before because we couldn't.

OP posts:

Original poster

Catnuzzle · 31/12/2021 15:53

Diddl - that is absolutely the only response!!!

OP posts:

Dixiechickonhols · 31/12/2021 16:00

He’s gorgeous.
I’m in a different full time job and still wfh but have a dog walker. She’s fabulous takes him running with with other dogs in countryside he’s out 2 hours. So even if I had to go in half the week (max I’d ever have to) he’d be fine. Walk before work. Walker 10-12. Nap. Then my teen walks him after school. My husband is self employed and around most days too.
Dog walker has been fabulous for helping him with socialisation and is there if need to go out for day she walks at weekend too and will have him at her house. It’s just like a toddler going to nursery, she uploads pics too.
It’s been a massive positive lifestyle change for me - I walk miles in countryside have lost weight and am much fitter.
It’s 5 years since we first met ours at the dog rescue.

Dixiechickonhols · 31/12/2021 16:02

wheresmymojo
You’ve just described my mum!

onedayoranother · 31/12/2021 16:12

The added responsibility? I could hear my mum saying that, and she loved dogs. We got two Maine coon kittens late August to join our two dogs and yes I bet she would have wondered why on earth I would want the extra responsibility (plus she never cared for cats though did allow us to have them). But she'd get over it soon enough.

OneOfTheGrundys · 31/12/2021 16:16

My mum was horrified when we adopted a retired racing greyhound. He was the gentlest giant you could imagine.
She did screech ‘WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE’ when she met him for the first time 🤣 but they ended up good friends. Two old codgers together in the end. He died just over a year ago and she grieved him deeply like the rest of us.

takenforgrantednana · 31/12/2021 16:18

@Catnuzzle

Since lockdown both me and DH work from home. I only work 3 days a week, he iccasionally pops into the office but I'm home all the time. I'm late 40s. 2 DDs (13 &11). We have two cats but have always wanted a dog. We've found one. We're rehoming from a family who can't provide the care he needs. He is perfect for us and hopefully we are for him. My husband and I both run, our DDs are animal mad. I sent my mum a picture of him, his name and that he's coming to live with us. Her response? 'Why on earth are you getting a dog?' I would have thought it was self-evident. Just another example to add to a veeeerrrrryyyy long list of why our relationship is strained. Just wanted to rant.

got to agree with your mums comment, are you sure its for the right reasons getting a dog? what breed is the one your hoping for? have you checked his health records out with his current vet? and what needs couldnt the previous owners provide that makes you think you can?

i hope this doesnt turn out to be yet another of those lockdown puppies, and the owners are now getting rid because they didnt give it the time required to train it correctly and then you come along and they off load all the dogs issues onto you

Musmerian · 31/12/2021 16:24

@Dozer

Will your work now be permanently from home?

I don’t understand people getting dogs before their employer’s post covid HR policies are clear.

I sure the OP can sort things out - she sounds eminently sensible. Our dog is at home during the day in term time with dog Walker once a day and is absolutely fine.

Original poster

Catnuzzle · 31/12/2021 16:29

Taken- he is a lockdown puppy. They lost their previous dog unexpectedly and bought this one as a knee jerk reaction. They cannot provide the time and attention he needs due to working long hours out of the home. We can. He will be one of our family and we will make all the effort and give all the time he needs to settle and train him. He's a border collie, extremely bright and within 20 mins we had already got him to sit for a treat. We are doing our research to make sure we are doing the best for him.
I have spoken with his current vet, they asked me to give him a hug from them as they'll miss him.
I'm not sure why it's assumed we don't know what we're doing or can't overcome any issue with patience and time. Which we have in spades.

OP posts:

Original poster

Catnuzzle · 31/12/2021 16:31

Musmerian- can you tell my mum that please! I've never been called eminently sensible before. Thank you 😊. DMs favourite description of me is as a control freak (I'm on the autism diagnosis pathway but she doesn't know that).

OP posts:

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