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Original poster

Help with dd diet and exercise plan

81 replies

Alakazam8 · 30/12/2021 07:18

Dd is 12 and has additional needs (Asd)
She needs to loose some weight.
I will give as much info as possible about her diet and exercise and would really appreciate ideas about what changes I can make.
Breakfast- golden syrup flavour porridge, half a sachet with semi skimmed milk, 8 grapes or strawberries, diluted apple juice half water half juice

Snack at school- fruit eg whole apple, while tangerine etc

Lunch- school lunch mainly, have asked school to discretely reduce her portion size and she has the pudding one one day a week, other days a yogurt.
Snack- fruit, fruit tea no added sugar
Dinner- a home cooked meal eg salmon and noodles, pasta bake, curry and rice always with extra veg. Bought dd a smaller plate to focus on portion control but not sure this has worked as well as I hoped. Would love to know how much your 12 year olds eat as I wonder if it’s down to portion control.
Dd usually has dessert or cake and recognise this is something I can cut out straight away
Drinks fruit tea, water dilute fruit juice

Exercise at least 30 mins per day recorded on tracker & swimming x2, dancing x1 and often go out on her scooter. Feel like I could change things here but don’t know how much. She can be reluctant to exercise and reg comes home from school with no exercise recorded on her tracker

She really enjoys food and has a complex history which makes it traumatic for her to not know about the food she will be having each day, fear of being without food.

What am I doing wrong or what changes can I make.

Thanks if you’ve read all this and are willing to help…

OP posts:
Original poster
Alakazam8 · 30/12/2021 08:16

Oh @SinoohXaenaHide your post is so thoughtful and insightful. She has taken a dive in confidence since puberty and has large breasts as well which hasn’t helped with that. I am doing all I can from a psychological point of view and being supported by Camhs for other reasons but have included this issue too as I was concerned.
She loves swimming and dancing and her scooter so that’s what she does…she sometimes puts YouTube videos on and dances along to them.
I will look at an unlimited snack food box for her- any other ideas as to what this could be.
She helps me choose meals and chose herself to just have pudding on a particular day at school so am finding ways to give her some control back.
Given the choice herself though she would gorge on unhealthier foods so while I’m responsible for her I need some control (I think)

She has good bras so that’s ok

OP posts:
55mirabeau · 30/12/2021 08:18

Double check with school about the yoghurts- the ones served at ours are 300 calories plus Shock

Original poster
Alakazam8 · 30/12/2021 08:21

Thanks for the tip about yogurts, she was given the choice of fruit or yogurt and went for yogurt…will check with school

OP posts:

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General food
SpookyScarySkeletons · 30/12/2021 08:22

@hashbrownsandwich

Does she know she's on a diet?

I work in this field and I have to ask, if she's got a special plate, does the rest of the family also have them or is it just her being singled out?

That's a very good point.

My mum has had lifelong issues with her weight. Her mother put her on a diet at age 8. And it was very very clear she was in a diet. She would be served a small ham salad while the rest of the family tucked into steak pie and mashed potato.

Al this achieved was a habit of sneaking food and the unhealthiest foods possible.

I would treat it as a "we all need to eat a bit healthier so let's try incorporate more veg into all our diets!"

Original poster
Alakazam8 · 30/12/2021 08:26

Thanks @SpookyScarySkeletons will think about that further.
Does anyone know a good source of healthy breakfast recipes that we could try?

OP posts:
Loudestcat14 · 30/12/2021 08:27

Is your DD tall? Is the school nurse taking into account her frame and build or is she just going by a number on the scales to decide your DD is overweight? How much weight does this nurse think your DD needs to lose to be an acceptable size?

Honestly, this chilled me reading this. You’re being so controlling that you are on the right path to give your child an eating disorder. Trust me, I know.

Loudestcat14 · 30/12/2021 08:31

Also, girls on average gain a stone and a half in puberty- which they will invariably lose if they just accept it’s part of the process. But what often happens is they are panicked into dieting and that’s where a lifetime of disordered eating begins. If we just told our daughters it’s part of the biological process of our bodies changing and what’s required is patience and staying fit and not dieting we could save them years of angst.

Nosnowthisyear · 30/12/2021 08:32

That sounds like hardly any food. Are you sure there’s not eating of extra snacks? My dc comes home with wrappers in her bag. She doesn’t take money so I’m not sure if there’s swapping of food or what.

Does she ever have fast food eg McDonald’s. It’s not adding up from what you say although it’s complicated when there are special needs (same with my dc.)

Nosnowthisyear · 30/12/2021 08:35

Does she take money to school for her lunch?

Is she really eating fruit in school?

I’m a teacher and most pupils choose huge baguettes or cheesy chips, never the fruit.

Half a sachet of porridge and watered down apple juice for breakfast? She must be starving. Sorry that’s quite extreme and I’m shocked by that.

Plumedenom · 30/12/2021 08:35

My experience with DS is that with children, a couple of minor changes can make a big difference. In your case that would be cutting out the cake and sweeties at home after dinner and taking her out on her scooter every evening for half an hour. That one will be key. She needs to burn it off. That pre mixed porridge has loads of sugar. Buy some porridge oats and a bottle of squeezy golden syrup so you have a bit more control over that in the morning. It is actually quicker as you don't have loads of packaging. Just keep the oats in a jar and pour a few in the pan/bowl to microwave.

Plumedenom · 30/12/2021 08:36

And I agree, don't limit her on porridge oats, just limit the golden syrup.

tickingthebox73 · 30/12/2021 08:41

Finding an exercise that suits her will also be key, I really struggled with my DS at that age, as he really hated all sports. So I bought season tickets to a local theme park, then we went from ride to ride from one side of the park to the other....so many steps! The kids never noticed we weren't doing "logical" routes

Original poster
Alakazam8 · 30/12/2021 08:43

@Loudestcat14 in what way would you say I’m being so controlling- genuinely not clear and want to change if this is the case. She does have quite severe Asd and some learning difficulties too if that makes a difference
Incidentally the school nurse didn’t measure her height last time so have asked her to next time. The time before that she did measure her height though and she is overweight.
I am more relaxed with her diet at weekends and we will have something like pizza or ready meal curry etc on Sat night. Probably has Mac Donald’s once a month or so. She has biscuits at one after school club she goes to but no other snacks or food swapping at school.

OP posts:
Xmasiscancelledagain · 30/12/2021 08:43

Is she drinking actual fruit juice rather than no added sugar squash? If its juice, swap it for squash and that cuts out a load of calories quickly without her noticing.

Other than that, I would focus on exercise. My 8YO son eats way more than your DD does. He is 145cm tall and almost underweight (3rd centile for weight). He literally never sits still. He is always outside running around in all weathers.

Goldbar · 30/12/2021 08:43

That sounds like very little food for a child her age. My 4yo would eat similar (although perhaps smaller portions) and eats more for breakfast (half a helping of porridge, half a slice of peanut butter toast and fruit). I agree with making sure the porridge is plain and perhaps cutting the yoghurt/pudding but that really doesn't sound excessive if it's all she's having and she's not snacking elsewhere.

NoSquirrels · 30/12/2021 08:46

@Loudestcat14

Also, girls on average gain a stone and a half in puberty- which they will invariably lose if they just accept it’s part of the process. But what often happens is they are panicked into dieting and that’s where a lifetime of disordered eating begins. If we just told our daughters it’s part of the biological process of our bodies changing and what’s required is patience and staying fit and not dieting we could save them years of angst.
This is interesting loudestcat - do you have any links to that stat?
Original poster
Alakazam8 · 30/12/2021 08:46

She used to have Greek yogurt and fruit for breakfast but chose to change to porridge. Will swap the porridge for plain porridge and increase that and look at ways of boosting her breakfast

OP posts:
Ketchupman · 30/12/2021 08:51

Ignoring the controlling food issue for your DD, my first thought was that the breakfast, snack and lunch pudding is all sweet/sugary. The poster commenting on 8 grapes needs to check the sugar content of them compared to other fruit. I'd lose the syrup and double the amount of porridge. Find a natural sweetener if necessary. Will she eat boiled eggs? If you think of it as 5 a day and only 2/5 should be fruit then you're not too far off but need to lose the other sweet elements.

Ketchupman · 30/12/2021 08:53

@Alakazam8 sorry for cross posting.

I see you mention a swap from yoghurt, has she got a sweet tooth?

Original poster
Alakazam8 · 30/12/2021 08:54

Will give her the choice of half hour on her scooter or half hour Zumba on you tube or just dance on days where we don’t scoot to her activities

OP posts:
Loudestcat14 · 30/12/2021 08:58

NoSquirrel If you Google average weight gain in puberty you’ll get loads of results but here is one and another. I wish I’d been told when I was a teenager that it was normal and I’d lose it eventually.

Original poster
Alakazam8 · 30/12/2021 08:59

Yes she has got a sweet tooth- would like to change her breakfast or snacks to something savoury but not sure what

OP posts:
TheVolturi · 30/12/2021 09:00

I have an almost 9 year old with Asd and food is a big issue. He only eats certain foods but can not deal with being hungry. At. All. He is a healthy weight but I think this may change in the future as he doesn't/won't/can't eat very healthy foods. Getting him to exercise is a minefield as well as he doesn't like leaving the house.
I feel for you because it's so tricky.

FusionChefGeoff · 30/12/2021 09:02

Definitely switch breakfast to something much more filling and lower carb / GI.

All you do with a tiny sugar laden breakfast is kick off a mad insulin / blood sugar rollercoaster for the day.

If you can fill her up she'll be a lot happier and less likely to reach for sugar in the day.

Full fat Greek yoghurt (not Greek style - the way the proper stuff is made means it has far less natural sugar). Big bowl of porridge but made with normal oats and added ground almonds / peanut butter stirred in with just a small amount of syrup / honey / fruit.

It's tricky if she won't eat eggs - my family are the same. How about baked beans with bacon / sausages / on whole meal toast?

TheOccupier · 30/12/2021 09:02

I think her diet sounds fine (what does she eat on weekends?) so I think you should focus on getting her to do more physical activity, especially as she already has issues with food.