MIL not hiding the fact she thinks I need to lose weight

[FlippinFedUp21]

Staying over at MIL's for a week.

She made a comment on night we got here how much food we ordered from takeaway.

Tonight she's served 3 tiny pizzas between 8 of us. When I say tiny I mean personal size pizza, 8" inches. With 4 growing children in the house who were saying how hungry they were I held back. Ended up with 1 tiny slice of thin crust. MIL described this as "plenty".

I feel fucking miserable. I'm not overweight and even if I was you don't deliberately serve a small portion of food. We are all adults, I don't need portion control, I need pizza!

I've gone upstairs for a sulk and to plot a late-night takeaway delivery. She will no doubt comment on it if we do have something delivered. I might order an extra garlic naan to frisbee at her.

@PurpleDaisies 😅😅😅

for Thatldo.

Don't eat all of it now, it's got to do 6 of you.

Probably hungry

That’s made me laugh which has triggered my covid cough.

My MIL thinks I can feed 6 of us with 1 left over portion of cottage pie. She always says I don't need to make anything else 🤣 she saves every last carrot and pea.

She too is the fat police and has always been very thin. But she has never ever been happy. Don't let it bother you. Just go out for a pub meal mid afternoon every day so you can keep your energy up.

Next time stay in an air B&B and limit your time

All resolved amicably and with very little upset. Ordered a curry and DH said "we are still hungry", simple as that. She said "really?!" in an incredulous tone, commented she could never eat at this time of night, then dropped the subject. I am now the proud owner of one full, happy stomach!

Oh that's good. I was posting just to check you'd actually got your takeaway!

That’s so much easier she knows as might avoid similar happening too often. Glad all ok OP as I hate going to bed hungry!

I'm glad you aren't still hungry. Sleep well.

My DM is like this. It is not intentional. She genuinely thinks that is enough food. My DH always goes for a "walk" and picks up food. I find it's enough and my DS thinks it is rude to make an issue in another person's home and so he just asks for extra milk and says that fills him up. Anyone I know who is very thin always serves very small portions also

Glad you got sorted.

@NynaeveSedai

Who says he is the cook of the family though? You and your brothers can do it. Challenge him.

It's really rude to go visit people and start cooking meals in their kitchen when they've shopped and planned what they are cooking, even if those people are your parents.

He's the cook of his household. Not mine or my brothers' obviously. But I would be offended if he came into my house and decided to raid my cupboards and start cooking a meal. Wouldn't you?

Not in my parents home. I would hope my kids would never sit hungry in my house because they don’t feel they can say ‘mum my stomach thinks my throat’s cut here what’s doing about food?’

Or even in advance ‘oh dad we’d love to visit but you don’t let us eat between 11 and 8 and don’t approve of me having snacks so I’d rather not - it’s just too long to wait!’

I mean surely it’s also ‘really rude’ to leave guests hungry and ‘frown upon’ them eating a snack?

Isn’t some of this just the shock of how much a family of several people with hungry kids can eat?

We just stayed with the PIL. MIL is definitely a feeder but was surprised things like running out of fruit by day 3.

She’ll have bought maybe three or four times the amount of fruit she would for just the two of them so expected it to last the week.

Some of it is older people have smaller appetites + only feeding two adults vs a group for six or eight for every meal.

They’re judgement of what is enough for the larger group is off.

25 years of it with MIL. Are you hungry again, aren’t you stuffed after that (tiny) meal last night, I don’t know where you put it all…
Thing is in my youth I was very slim but that wasn’t the issue. She wanted me to join in with the ‘oh so much food bollocks. I must go on a diet tomorrow’
My SIL has always been overweight but is always on a ‘diet’ so she is more approved of (I suspect SIL eats a lot in private and orders tiny meals in public).
Because I wouldn’t join in she would serve tiny meals (whilst feeding herself in the kitchen constantly).
The only answer is to constantly say ‘I’m actually really hungry I need something else to eat’ and shame them as a host.

My mum is a bit similar but in her case I think she has genuinely forgotten what others eat. She serves up the exact right amount, which is great, but the weird part is she goes on about how she has made sooooo much, we'll never get through all this, wow look at this feast, this is sooo indulgent, etc. I agree out loud but secretly I'm thinking "not really!".