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Original poster

MIL not hiding the fact she thinks I need to lose weight

88 replies

FlippinFedUp21 · 29/12/2021 18:33

Staying over at MIL's for a week.

She made a comment on night we got here how much food we ordered from takeaway.

Tonight she's served 3 tiny pizzas between 8 of us. When I say tiny I mean personal size pizza, 8" inches. With 4 growing children in the house who were saying how hungry they were I held back. Ended up with 1 tiny slice of thin crust. MIL described this as "plenty".

I feel fucking miserable. I'm not overweight and even if I was you don't deliberately serve a small portion of food. We are all adults, I don't need portion control, I need pizza!

I've gone upstairs for a sulk and to plot a late-night takeaway delivery. She will no doubt comment on it if we do have something delivered. I might order an extra garlic naan to frisbee at her.

OP posts:

DaisyNGO · 29/12/2021 19:18

@FlippinFedUp21

I will be having a word with MIL as it was very awkward to make grown ups forgo for children. Everyone should have plenty to eat. I will be letting her know 1 slice of pizza is far from "plenty"

That's really awful of her, definitely say something

We had lunch with a couple who served one of those pizzas between four of us, with salad. We had a two hour journey there. Is it just meanness?

Mumdiva99 · 29/12/2021 19:21

We take food to the inlaws or go shopping when we arrive. They aren't stingy on portions in the same way but they only eat 2 times a day. My kids have 3 meals plus extra snacks. No one gets offended. They serve us 1 meal a day and we sort the rest.

Readeatcake · 29/12/2021 19:22

I think the more thoughtful thing to do is when you have company to ask them how hungry they are and if three pizzas would be enough. (It wouldn't be for me and my family!)

My mum serves way to much food and will eat left overs for days because of it. My Mail almost competes with the person with the smallest appetite. I once went round and she pre cut an Asda pizza and cooked it in slices and put the rest in the freezer before anyone could say they would like more.

Dontletthemuggglesgetyoudown · 29/12/2021 19:24

Bloody hell definitely say something!!

crankysaurus · 29/12/2021 19:27

In the morning you could state that you're popping to the shops for provisions, is there anything she'd like you to pick up. Then if she says 'oh I've got plenty in' you can legitimately ask what and say that'll not be enough for your children's growing appetites plus the adults and stock up the right amount extra. Plus more wine.

PurpleDaisies · 29/12/2021 19:28

We have the same issue visiting our in laws. They eat tiny main meals and and fill up on crappy puddings. I have asked and asked and asked for bigger portions of the main but to no avail. We try to avoid eating there as much as possible. My tip to you op is to take food and hide it under the bed. Post meal lie down becomes a euphemism for eating more upstairs!

thisplaceisweird · 29/12/2021 19:28

I've had this with my own family and have had to just face the awkwardness and say "ok not enough food for us all, what else can I cook for us?' and start opening cupboards to make some pasta or sandwiches or whatever. Maybe awkward at your in laws but your husband could try? Just take charge and sort it out. And take plenty of snacks next time!

HailAdrian · 29/12/2021 19:35

I don't care what anyone on here says, 3 8" pizzas is nowhere near enough for that many people.

Original poster

FlippinFedUp21 · 29/12/2021 19:41

In hindsight (now Ive stopped sulking) I don't think it was to do with her thoughts on my weight. I think it is much more to do with her own attitudes to food as others have suggested. However even if you eat very little you can still objectively see that there wasn't enough food. We were having noticeably awkward conversations of "well you can have some more" but me and DH saying "but then it's not much for the kids if we have more" leaving us with 1 slice each. I don't think what she did was malicious but I don't like being told how much I should eat as a grown woman. I could have easily eaten 1 pizza to myself had there been enough.

They weren't takeaway pizzas, they were thin crust ones from Aldi.

OP posts:

TooWicked · 29/12/2021 19:42

DH, DS and I ate an 11” pizza each last night, along with a box of onion rings and 8 spicy chicken nuggets - and we did rock paper scissors to decide who was only going to have 2 nuggets instead of 3.

What have you ordered from Just Eat?

PurpleDaisies · 29/12/2021 19:44

However even if you eat very little you can still objectively see that there wasn't enough food.

I think some people are genuinely oblivious (mil!) and you have to actually say that you are all still hungry and would like to make sandwiches/toast/whatever.

Snowsaurus · 29/12/2021 19:46

Once we had dinner with mil and fil, they live in another country and we’d travelled far. They are lovely but have a serious issue with food. We’d been by the beach and out all day. Mil served, beteeen 6 of us, 2 boiled potatoes, salad and dry ryvita. The 2 potatoes were for my dh and fil. We sat down, and my dd then 4 yrs old happily put the 2 potatoes on her plate and ate them. Mil did not look happy but didn’t say anything. DH ordered pizza.

Lairymary · 29/12/2021 19:47

Is it definitely not a money issue. Maybe that's all she can afford to feed you all?

Original poster

FlippinFedUp21 · 29/12/2021 19:51

@Lairymary not at all a monetary issue, I can assure you. Additionally we offered to bring our own food and drink but MIL wouldn't hear of it. We brought our own wine as MIL doesn't drink

OP posts:

DaisyNGO · 29/12/2021 19:51

@Snowsaurus

So they regularly have salad and Ryvuta for dinner? 😱

Original poster

FlippinFedUp21 · 29/12/2021 19:52

@Snowsaurus that's appalling! Your MIL begrudging a 4 year old 2 measly tatties is so far beyond the pale

OP posts:

ChimChimeny · 29/12/2021 19:52

@HailAdrian

I don't care what anyone on here says, 3 8" pizzas is nowhere near enough for that many people.

No way! We'd eat one each, including DD aged 9, although she does leave the crusts

Snowsaurus · 29/12/2021 19:56

@DaisyNGO @FlippinFedUp21 they honestly are the nicest people, but they don’t seem to eat. They were once having noodles and broke the dry noodle package (you know those cheap ones) in half for the two of them. They eat a lot of fruit though.

Original poster

FlippinFedUp21 · 29/12/2021 19:57

It was absolutely nowhere near enough food for any of us. Such a shame as it's created so much awkwardness and effectively spoiled a lovely few days.

OP posts:

Original poster

FlippinFedUp21 · 29/12/2021 19:58

Still not sure what we are ordering yet, I know I'm very hungry but the thought I won't be going to bed with an empty stomach is cheering me up. Will be collaring DH soon to choose a takeaway

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 29/12/2021 19:58

I think dh needs to have the awkward conversation that you’re all hungry and you need more food. Hopefully they’ll be embarrassed that they’ve left you rumbling and sort it out.

Franklyfrost · 29/12/2021 19:59

I’ve stayed with people like this. One family ate a huge breakfast and then less for lunch and even less for dinner which is probably very healthy but I don’t like eating first thing. The other family were all stick thin and didn’t eat much at all. They would share a dried date. I ended up packing a suitcase of food the next time I visited which was a bit tragic.

Jjjayfee · 29/12/2021 20:00

Can't you or your partner ask for toast? I really hate even the thought of my guests being hungry. If this persists I would take food with me next time. Some people resent the amount that food eaten by guests costs but they don't consider how much it costs in petrol, air or train fares for their families to visit. I suspect my late in-laws thought like this sometimes

JTHOM · 29/12/2021 20:00

You're right, things do fester. I've been married over 30 years and wish I'd got you're advice when I'd been married for 3 months! I see the reverse now in that I know when my daughter is festering something but won't tell me what it is but more importantly, I know she must be suffering and when she eventually spills the beans, it's an explosion of anger.

lightisnotwhite · 29/12/2021 20:01

Bollocks to that. As a host you should always make sure guests have more than enough.
It’s then up to guests to be restrained and not take the piss.

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