How to tactfully leave a family WhatsApp group

[frustrateddotcodotuk]

DH has a family WhatsApp group with parents and siblings. I am the only 'non-blood' in there and was added during covid to help communicate. 6 people in total.

There are a lot of frustrating and sometimes hurtful things that his family do. There has been lots of frustrating anti-vax sprouted by a sister for example, and currently the whole lot of them are pissed with us for not socialising with them while one is covid positive, and there has been a lot of WhatsApp drama about it. DH always agrees with me, but is very much 'keep the peace', and as it his family I want to respect it. (Although it drives me crazy as I am very straight talking).

WRT to the whatsapp group I can see 3 options

1. (my preferred option) I tell them I am leaving because I don't want to be in the group anymore (could add more detail about why?) -- DH says no as will cause upset and drama

2. (what I am currently doing) put group on silent and ignore. -- DH not happy as very obvious I am silent as only 6 of us

3. (my least favourite option) continue to pander and pretend it doesn't make me want to scratch my eyes out 'Awww cute pic of you cuddling your sis while you are covid positive and she's pregnant and unvaccinated!! CUTE!!!!!!'

We don't see them that often despite living nearby. But I am part of this WhatsApp group that just causes constant frustrating and upset.

Is their a fourth option?

Not sure why there are crossed out bits...

Just carry on doing #2.

It’s tough shit that your DH isn’t happy about it. Tell him if he continues whining you’ll just do #1 instead.

I can't see any crossed out bits.
I would probably do number 2 and it doesn't matter if you take part or not.

Just leave it. If you’re pressed for a reason tell them you’re cutting down on SM intrusions for your New Years resolution.

As in, leave the group.

I would say something like ‘I’m trying to cut down my social media use at the moment so will leave the group now. If anyone needs me please feel free to DM or call.’

I’ve done this on a few groups that were unhelpful/annoying.

Mute and archive ...it's what I do with the In law what's app group..

We have family chat 3 brothers in laws are on it but only one regular posts. Other will pop up to wish happy birthday or share news but its not expected as they have own family chats. Sisters will natural share photos and news on the kids. It’s no big deal it’s natural to be close to one side of family than others.

New year you are having digital detox you are both deleting duplicate chats with family friends when one of you is more than capable passing on important information. 95% most likely be non essential rambles than personal conversations anyway. Leave and let them moan behind your back if they must!

Pretend your phone got hacked and you had to delete WhatsApp

Just delete the app.

Thanks all.

Don't want to delete the app as use regularly to talk to other people, and that's easily seen by them.

The detox thing isn't a bad idea. Thanks.

Meme the shit out of the group until they crack and delete you 🤣

Seriously, I would merrily carry on ignoring and any comments, a breezy ‘oh you don’t want me burbling on when you sibs just want to chat! DH keeps me up to date with all of it so no worries!’ Blah. They are background noise. You no care!

Say the detox is aNew Years Resolution, people respect NYRs

Set your settings so no one can see if you are seeing messages or not.

Tell them you are coming off WhatsApp for your New Years resolution and to text you directly if they need to contact you

Mute the group

Continue with other groups as no one knows you are still online

(Did this years ago, still going now - I just "pop" once a month or so and say hi now, they think I've got a great working relationship with WhatsApp 😂😂)

Also, look at other messaging apps for others - I use signal with some friends so I can keep WhatsApp closed to annoying groups that are muted

You're meant to do it tactfully? Whoops...
I just left ours after one drama too many. No acknowledgement, just left. Life's too short.

Oh my fuck, are you saying they can see when I have read messages.

If you don't want to delete the app, then don't, but tell them that you have.

I hate the inlaw WhatsApp too, absolute pain the arse. I just mute the thing as I left earlier this year and DH went ape, I told him I really didn’t think anyone would give a single shit as it’s 99% football banter anyway but it really upset him so I went back on to keep the peace. Small battle, not worth the hassle and I now keep it muted with the occasional pop in to wish happy birthday etc.

@RagzReturnedUnwrapped

You're meant to do it tactfully? Whoops... I just left ours after one drama too many. No acknowledgement, just left. Life's too short.

I did this too. I don’t need to explain to anyone why I leave a group and if people are so precious about Watsapp groups they really need to have a word with themselves. They all have my number if they want to contact me anyway.

I hate group chats. I left all mine and have rearranged settings so nobody can add me. I find them so stressful. Previously I have had them muted. My phone only lets me archive groups after I've left them.
In your shoes I'd use social media overwhelm/new years resolution as an excuse.

I was part of a work one that could be very intense and one day one woman just said “Just going to leave the group for a bit, having phone trouble and going to see if deleting what’s app helps. Bye!” And she never came back.

Fairly sure she’d just had enough and was too polite to say.

You can archive the chat so you’re still in it but it won’t pop up with messages and will be blissfully hidden unless you actually go into the archive. Hold down the chat from your list and the option to archive will pop up. 😊

How to leave a WhatsApp group :
Wait for the next discussion to start
After a couple of responses reply "I am stepping off this group as it probably doesn't need both DH and I on it"
Leave immediately, don't wait for comments
Never give loads of detail about why you are leaving, it never goes anywhere good.

I've been in this situation before. I was only in the group for a few weeks though, I did the "leave the group" option. I literally had no interest in receiving a thousand baby photos every day.

I was once added to a group for a local interest kind of thing, along with what I assume must have been dozens of others. As soon as I was added there was a mass exodus- “X has left the group” ad finitum. There had been no posts at all. Everyone clearly in silent agreement that they didn’t want to be in the group. Felt bad for the guy who set it up. Not sure if anyone ever stayed as I left apostle immediately too