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Original poster

DD disappointed - feel guilty

73 replies

merrygoround51 · 25/12/2021 07:26

My Dd is 13 first year where the magic is truly gone.
She is incredibly fussy about clothes and doesn’t like much at the moment and is very disappointed in her Santa haul. It includes a juicy couture tracksuit that costs almost 140 and a perfume set worth 30 as the main gifts with the rest making up small bits, t shirt & jumper she hates , bag, scrunchies, small bits of shein jewellery etc
I would like to have bought her more clothes but everything I brought home over the last year is met with an urgghhh
Half of me is upset she’s disappointed, half of me is angry at her ungrateful ness.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 25/12/2021 07:30

Did she say what she wanted before? Not sure I would have spent that much on clothes without her input, especially if she is very particular in what she likes

LawnFever · 25/12/2021 07:30

I’d be irritated at her ungratefulness, next time give her vouchers and she can pick herself?

Can you swap the tracksuit if she doesn’t like it? I’d be annoyed but equally no point her having something she won’t wear but she needs to at least be appreciative of the cost not being bratty about it (if the latter I’d be tempted to just get a refund!)

fabulouslyglamorousferret · 25/12/2021 07:32

That's why teenagers get money in this house! It's hard for them to pretend to be grateful when it's something they won't wear.

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Christmas
Original poster
merrygoround51 · 25/12/2021 07:35

@toomuchlaundry After me pushing for months she picked out some items off shein last week and I explained that was too late

@LawnFever she likes the tracksuit, just nothing else that goes with it. I suppose learning is don’t bother with stocking fillers , just do a voucher. You live you learn I guess

OP posts:
Sittinginthesand · 25/12/2021 07:35

Can you return them? Next year just do little bits in stocking and let her choose some clothes with you - as a present from you, not father c.

Bobbybobbins · 25/12/2021 07:36

Agree with pp - next year do fun little bits in stocking and give her a voucher.

Kbyodjs · 25/12/2021 07:38

My 13 year old doesn’t seem overly impressed at her “Santa” presents; i put a lot of effort into them so I’m a bit at a blank over how I could have done better

LadyWithLapdog · 25/12/2021 07:40

One of mine has a JC tracksuit (vile things!) which she picked and wrapped herself. The other is getting money to buy all the crap on her list, she'll have tiny parcels of mostly makeup arriving for the next few weeks. They have a couple of items as complete surprise too. I'm sorry your DD is ungrateful and moody.

Original poster
merrygoround51 · 25/12/2021 07:40

Yes I think that’s exactly what I will do, fun bits and a voucher.

@Kbyodjs it’s a horrible feeling isn’t it. Maybe it’s just the transitional phase though and they will learn to voice what they want and we will learn to just do the vouchers etc

OP posts:
irene9 · 25/12/2021 07:40

My teen would never have let me pick out her clothes. Just return them and give her the money to buy her own choices. No teenager likes other people picking their clothes. Don't take it personally. It's not about being 'ungrateful' it's that she feels you are dictating what she wears. At the same time she's a young teen trying to fit to the world and may be unsure of her own style or what she likes. But she doesn't like you telling her what's nice.

NynaeveSedai · 25/12/2021 07:41

My 13 year old is still asleep but I bought him a nike tracksuit for his last birthday, he didn't really like it but didn't tell me so and has worn it on a couple of occasions when he's not meeting his friends Grin
That's the way a teenager should respond to gifts they don't like. Mine is not perfect by any means, but he knows better than to be ungrateful and rude when given gifts. Rudeness and entitlement is awful.
Having said that I bought him a JD voucher this Christmas and that was the last time I buy him clothes without him being there.

Original poster
merrygoround51 · 25/12/2021 07:41

@LadyWithLapdog Agree hideous and vile things but ho hum.
Also agree moody and un grateful and I might even add in spoilt as clearly we’ve spoiled her to get that reaction

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 25/12/2021 07:42

DD is also 13. I gave up choosing her clothes a couple of years ago. She knows what she likes and dislikes so there's no point in buying stuff that won't get worn. I'm the same with my clothes.

DD let's me know what she'd like as presents now and I buy from her list.

That way everyone is happy.

Elfonaledge · 25/12/2021 07:45

I think Christmas and gifts in general are hard. Theres so much pressure and hype around it that recieving gifts is always a bit disappointing and no one ever quite loves them as much as you think they might.

Every year there's 100s of posts on mumsnet (usually from women whos husbands have got it a bit wrong) and the response isn't usually to say they are ungrateful or shouldn't get presents. There one currently about a handbag where the suggestions are to tell them it's wrong but, stop acting like you love it but if someone says someone doesn't like the gift they gave then the reciever is called ungrateful

Autumncoming · 25/12/2021 07:45

At this age my sister and I would get each other's santa money before Christmas and go shopping together, hinting to each other what we liked which they would buy. Then it got wrapped up for Christmas day. We loved it.

ScabbyHorse · 25/12/2021 07:45

She is so lucky! I used to just get educational things and books at that age. Maybe a shower gel and that was it! And I was grateful.

EmmasMum12 · 25/12/2021 07:47

Shes being honest. If I had a moody hormonal fussy teen I wouldn't buy gifts and then be surprised that she doesn't like them

Nosnowthisyear · 25/12/2021 07:50

I haven’t got my teenage dc any clothes this year. They inevitably don’t like them or they don’t fit.

motheroflions · 25/12/2021 07:51

You have bought her clothes she doesn't like. She is 13 full of hormones and probably is disappointed.

I dont even choose out my 8 & 5 year olds clothes as they are fussy too.

Just get her to write out a list next year of things she would like.

I would go and give her a cuddle and make ups not to ruin the day

Boogaloony · 25/12/2021 07:57

My 13 yo is the youngest of four and she's ( like her siblings) been taught to accept presents with grace and it doesn't matter if it's something she doesn't like or has ten of at home already. Terrible manners to pull faces/sulk/act ungratefully. Saying that mine have always been very easy to buy for. This year she got a chrome book, candle making kit, morphe make up, crystals/tarots/spell books, a few card games and scrabble.

Papertrail392 · 25/12/2021 08:00

She'll come good again, a lot of them get like this. Try not to let it upset you, only a few more years to go and she'll be back to being lovely!

Kennykenkencat · 25/12/2021 08:05

Why doesn’t your Dd go through the shops with you or just with friends to buy what she wants when though you having to guess.

I think time for a monthly clothing allowance

AuditAngel · 25/12/2021 08:05

At about the same age DS threw a tantrum that he hadn’t got anything he liked, but he’d only opened his stocking!

He was over tired and behaving like a spoiled toddler. He grew out of it.

I wouldn’t buy my 14 year old DD clothes without her input, except she has spiderman socks in her stocking. She’ll love them!

Original poster
merrygoround51 · 25/12/2021 08:06

Thanks all.
Onwards and upwards as they say. I’ll know better next year
But I do certainly expect and get good manners when exchanging gifts !

OP posts:
Kennykenkencat · 25/12/2021 08:07

Why doesn’t your Dd go to the shops with you or just with friends to buy what she wants stops you having to guess.

I think time for a monthly clothing allowance

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